Alyssa Potter The Girl Who Lived
by sarahx883
Summary: What if Harry Potter was a girl? Join Alyssa Potter as she encounters tragedy, romance, danger, and hidden family secrets. It starts in the beginning of December of her fifth year at Hogwarts. Warning: Reviews contain spoilers
1. Haunted

_Cedric and I followed Fleur, Roger, Krum, and Hermione out onto the brightly lit dance floor, and next moment, Cedric had placed one hand on my waist and held my hand with the other. We revolved slowly on the spot, Cedric steering me along. _

_Cedric bent down and whispered into my ear, "You look really pretty tonight." I looked up into his handsome face, smiling, but next moment the doors to the Great Hall burst open, and in walked Lord Voldemort. Everyone screamed. Voldemort stared straight at me and a jet of green light, aimed straight at my heart, shot out of his wand. Before I could stop him, Cedric jumped out in front of me, and the curse hit him hard in the chest. _

"_NOOOO!" I screamed as Cedric fell to the ground with a loud thud._

I awoke with a start. I looked around me. Everything was pitch black and in the bed next to me, Hermione was snoring softly. It was just a dream, I told myself, as I wiped cold sweat from my forehead. I closed my eyes, and the details of the dream came flooding back to me. This was only the third Cedric nightmare that I had had that took place at the Yule Ball. Almost always, the dreams took place in the graveyard, but they all ended the same way: with Cedric dying.

It had been almost half a year since Cedric died, and I was still having nightmares. The month after the third task, I had dreams of Cedric dying almost every night, but they were becoming scarcer. I hoped that soon the nightmares would end for good. I hated reliving that night.

I thought back to the real Yule Ball and remembered dancing with Cedric all night. It was one of the best times I'd had at Hogwarts.

I sighed and tried to relax. Already, the details of the dream were slipping from my mind. I listened to the pitter-patter of raindrops against the window frame and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

"What do we have first today?" I asked Hermione at breakfast.

"Double Potions," she said, not looking up from her book on Ancient Ruins.

"That sucks," said Ron, through a mouthful of toast. I nodded in agreement. Potions was by far my least favorite class, but Defense Against the Dark Arts was a close second this year, with Umbridge as our teacher. I hated that I had the worst teachers in the classes I was best at, although according to Snape, I was the worst in the class, besides, of course, Neville.

"We should get going," said Hermione, slipping her book into her bag.

"Crap," I said. "I left my Potions book in the dorm. I'll meet up with you guys soon."

I hurried out of the Great Hall and went back to Gryffindor Tower to grab my book, then hurried down the many flights of stairs that led to the dungeons. Snape would probably take twenty points from Gryffindor if I was late. When I was just a short distance away from Snape's dungeon, I heard a voice call from behind me, "Potter! Why in such a hurry?"

I turned around and saw Draco Malfoy walking lazily toward me. Great, I thought, and I continued walking at a quick pace. I could hear Draco jogging up to me from behind, and he soon appeared in front of me, blocking my way, since he was considerably taller and broader than me.

"You didn't answer my question, Potter," he sneered.

"We have Potions, dumbass," I said. I moved to walk around him, but he stepped in front of me again. "Get out of my way, Malfoy. You're going to make me late."

"That's too bad," he said sarcastically.

"You'll be late too," I said.

"Yes, but I'm Snape's favorite student."

"Oh right, how could I forget? So when are you two announcing your engagement?"

Draco scowled, and I quickly walked around him before he could block my way again. I jogged to where everyone was lined up outside Snape's door. The door opened, and I heard Snape say in a soft, deadly voice, "Everyone, into the classroom." Ron, Hermione, and I took our usual seats at the table the furthest away from Snape's desk and started setting up our cauldrons.

"Today we will be mixing a potion that often comes up at Ordinary Wizarding Level: the Draught of Peace," said Snape, once everyone was set up. "The ingredients and method are on the blackboard, and you will find everything you need in the store cupboard. You have an hour and a half… start."

Everyone got to work. When there were only about twenty minutes left of class, Snape called out, "You should be on step eight by now, and your potions should be clear."

I looked down at mine and was happy to see that it was perfectly clear. I glanced at Ron's potion, which was lime green, and at Hermione's potion, which was clear, but I couldn't help noticing that mine was just a little bit clearer.

"How did you guys make your potions clear?" asked Ron, desperately.

"You're simmering it at the wrong temperature, and I think you forgot to add the syrup of hellebore," I said.

Ron quickly lowered the temperature of his potion and added the syrup, and his potion became somewhat clearer.

"Thanks," he said.

"No problem."

Snape got up from his desk and began walking around the classroom, peering at everyone's potions. He stopped at Neville's to make a snide remark, but complimented Malfoy on his. Pansy Parkinson, who always looked like a dumb blonde by hiking up her skirt and twirling strands of fake blonde hair with her finger, leaned over to say something to Snape. It was so obvious that she had a huge crush on him. All the Slytherin girls did. I personally could not see how that was possible. Sure, he may be good looking on the surface, with his sharp features, long black hair, and tall, muscular body, but on the inside, he was hideous.

Snape was nearing our table. He approached as I was carefully cutting my veraline roots, and I could feel him hovering over me, but I tried to ignore him and not let him ruin my concentration. Snape's hand shot out suddenly and picked up two pieces of veraline root that I had just cut. I turned to see him examining them.

"Can you read, Potter?" he asked nastily. Everyone's head turned to us, and the Slytherins starting sniggering. They always looked forward to watching Snape make fun of me.

"Yes," I said, annoyed.

"Then, tell me, what does step ten say?"

I looked up at the board and read, "Cut the veraline root into twenty small, equally sized pieces."

Snape then held up my two little pieces of root and sneered, "Do these look to be of equal length to you?"

I looked at the roots. One was maybe a millimeter shorter than the other.

"Er, one is a _tiny_ bit shorter than the other," I answered.

"These are completely useless now," said Snape, and with a wave of his wand, all of my carefully cut roots disappeared. I could hear the Slytherins laughing, Draco being the loudest, and my cheeks flushed with anger.

"Time is up," announced Snape to the class. "Pour a sample of your potion into a flask, label it, and put in on my desk."

Snape walked to the front of the room. Hermione filled her flask, while Ron was hastily trying to finish cutting his roots. His pieces of veraline root were not even close to being equally sized, but Snape didn't say anything to him. I would have to leave my potion unfinished, because Snape had gotten rid of all of my roots. I poured some of my uncompleted potion into a flask and brought it up to Snape. Just as I was about to place it on his desk he said, "Don't bother handing that in, Potter. I don't accept incomplete potions. You will receive a zero on it."

I opened my mouth to protest, but closed it quickly. Anything I said would probably land me in detention, and Angelina would freak if I missed any more Quidditch practices. I could still remember how angry her face looked that time when I had told her Umbridge had given me a weeks worth of detentions.

I walked back to my desk, enraged, and was very relieved when the bell rang. I was the first one out of the class.

"That was really unfair," said Hermione, as soon as she and Ron had caught up to me.

"Yeah, well," I said, "since when has Snape ever been fair to me?"

Ron and Hermione didn't answer; we all knew that Snape had hated me from the moment I had set foot in Hogwarts.

* * *

Christmas break was only two weeks away, and I was looking forward to spending the holidays at Grimmauld Place with Sirius. The weeks leading up to the break past by quickly. Angelina was scheduling Quidditch practices four times a week, because our match against Hufflepuff was only two weeks after we got back from break. With Quidditch practice and all the homework the teachers were assigning us, I only had time to hold two D.A. meetings.

The night before break, Ron, Hermione, and I were sitting together in our favorite arm chairs in the Gryffindor common room.

"I'm so glad that vacation is tomorrow," said Ron. "No homework for two weeks. The teachers have been giving us so much this year!"

"Well, we need to be prepared for our O.W.L.S., Ron," said Hermione.

Ron rolled his eyes.

"So, are you excited to go skiing in France?" I asked Hermione.

"Not really," said Hermione. "I'm not that good."

"What did you say?" said Ron with pretend shock. "There's actually something you're not good at?"

Now it was Hermione's turn to roll her eyes. "I'm going up to bed," she said. "You coming, Alyssa?"

"Yeah," I said, getting up from my chair. "See you, Ron."

I followed Hermione up the spiral staircase. Parvati and Lavender were already asleep when we got into our dormitory.

"'Night," I said to Hermione as I got into bed.

"G'night," said Hermione. A few minutes later I could hear her snores. I closed my eyes and was soon asleep.


	2. Taking Over Me

I was in my bedroom at Grimmauld place, packing up all of my things, because tomorrow I was heading back to Hogwarts. The two weeks that I had spent with Sirius were a lot of fun. Sirius was in a very cheery mood the whole time, evidently happy to have company for once, but now his mood was quickly darkening. I felt bad leaving him all alone, but there wasn't anything I could do. I had to go back to school.

When I finished packing, I went down to the kitchen to grab some lunch. Just as I was about to sit down to eat, I heard a knock at the door. I went to the door and looked through the peep-hole, and to my horror, I saw Snape standing there, looking as mean and bitter as ever. I thought about just pretending like I hadn't heard the knock, but Snape might have important news for Sirius concerning the Order, so I reluctantly opened the door.

"Sirius is upstairs," I said, as Snape walked across the threshold.

"I'm here to see you, Potter," said Snape. "The Headmaster has sent me to tell you that it is his wish for you to study Occlumency this term."

"Study what?" I said blankly. Snape sneered.

"Occlumency, Potter. The magical Defense of the mind against external penetration. An obscure branch of magic, but a highly useful one."

"Why do I have to study Occlumency?" I said, totally confused.

"Because the Headmaster thinks it a good idea," snapped Snape. "You will receive private lessons once a week, but you will not tell anybody what you are doing, especially Dolores Umbridge. You understand?"

"Yes," I said. "Who's going to be teaching me?"

Snape raised an eyebrow. "I am," he said.

I had the horrible sensation that my insides were melting. Extra lessons with Snape - what on earth had I done to deserve this?

"I will expect you at eight o'clock on Monday evening, Potter. My office. If anybody asks, you are taking remedial Potions." He stepped back out the door, just as Sirius was walking down the entrance hall.

"Was that just Snape I saw?" Sirius asked me.

"Yeah," I said, shutting the door.

"What was he doing here?" said Sirius, looking angry.

"He came to tell me that he's giving me Occlumency lessons this term." I sighed. "More lessons with Snape, just what I need."

Sirius patted my shoulder, consolingly.

"Here," he said, handing me small, rectangular package. "I want you to have this."

"What is it?" I asked.

"A way of communicating with me," said Sirius. "Let me know if Snape's giving you a hard time, all right?"

"Okay," I said. "I'll go put it in my trunk. Thanks."

I went back upstairs, and stowed the package away in the bottom of my trunk. I knew I would never use whatever it was. I would not lure Sirius from his place of safety, no matter how foully Snape treated me in our upcoming Occlumency lessons.

* * *

I took the Knight bus back to Hogwarts. When I got to Gryffindor Tower, I scanned the room for Ron and Hermione. I found them sitting in our usual arm chairs.

"Hey guys!" I said. "How were your vacations?"

"Good, thanks," said Hermione. "How was yours?"

"Good, but you won't believe what happened yesterday."

"What?" said Ron excitedly.

"Snape came to Grimmauld Place to tell me that he's giving me private Occlumency lessons every Monday night from now on. How much does that suck?"

"A ton," said Ron. "What is Occlu- whatever?"

"Occlumency," corrected Hermione. "It's the protection of the mind against outside penetration. But why do you need Occlumency lessons, Alyssa?"

"I have no idea," I said. "All I know is that I'm not going to have much time for D.A. meetings, now that I have Occlumency lessons on top of Quidditch practice and homework."

* * *

All that I could think about during my classes the next day was the Occlumency lesson that I was going to have that night. I was absolutely dreading it.

At eight o'clock, I walked down to the dungeons, which was the last place I wanted to be, knocked on Snape's office door, and entered. The first thing I notice was Dumbledore's Pensieve on his desk. I wondered why Snape would need it.

"Shut the door behind you, Potter."

I jumped slightly and realized that Snape had been lurking in the shadows. I shut the door, feeling like I was imprisoning myself. When I turned around, Snape was sitting behind his desk and was pointing silently at the chair opposite him. I sat down and glanced at Snape. His cold black eyes were fixed upon me, loathing etched in every line of his face.

"Well, Potter, you know why you are here," he said. "The Headmaster has asked me to teach you Occlumency-"

"And why does Professor Dumbledore think I need it, sir?" I said, looking directly into Snape's eyes and wondering whether he would answer.

"Do not interrupt me, Potter," said Snape in a dangerous voice.

"Sorry, sir," I said.

Snape eyed me. "In the past, it appears that you had visions of the Dark Lord. Now that he is strong again, Professor Dumbledore believes that it is possible that he may be able to see into your mind too when it is most relaxed and vulnerable - when you are asleep, for instance. The Headmaster wants to prevent this from happening at all costs, so he wishes me to teach you how to close your mind."

Snape pulled out his wand from an inside pocket of his robes and I tensed in my chair, but Snape merely raised the wand to his temple and placed its tip into the roots of his hair. When he withdrew it, some silvery substance came away, which broke as he pulled the wand away from it and fell gracefully into the Pensieve. Twice more, Snape did this, then, without offering any explanation of his behavior, he picked up the Pensieve carefully, removed it to a shelf out of our way and returned to face me with his wand held at the ready.

"Stand up and take out your wand, Potter."

I got to my feet, feeling nervous. We faced each other with the desk between us.

"You may use your wand to attempt to disarm me, or defend yourself in any other way you can think of," said Snape.

"And what are you going to do?" I asked, eyeing Snape's wand apprehensively.

"I am about to attempt to break into your mind," said Snape softly. "We are going to see how well you resist… brace yourself, now. Legilimens!"

Snape had struck before I was ready, before I had even begun to summon any force of resistance. The office swam in front of my eyes and vanished. A memory formed in my mind.

I was nine years old, and I was hurriedly climbing up a tree in order to avoid being bitten by Ripper, Aunt Marge's bulldog…

I felt like I was an outsider, looking in on a scene. It was as if I was looking in a Pensieve, except that this was my mind... I watched as the Dursleys and Aunt Marge came running out of the house, laughing. Then the scene changed…

I was eleven and sitting on a stool in the Great Hall with the Sorting Hat on my head. I could hear the Hat saying, "Hmm… difficult. Very difficult. Plenty of courage, I see. Not a bad mind either. There's talent, my goodness, yes — and a nice thirst to prove yourself, now that's interesting… So where shall I put you?"

I could feel the panic I had felt four years before, and I could hear the thoughts going through my head: Not Slytherin, not Slytherin.

"Not Slytherin, eh?" said the Sorting Hat. "Are you sure? You could be great, you know, it's all here in your head, and Slytherin will help you on the way to greatness, no doubt about that — no? Well, if you're sure — better be GRYFFINDOR!" The scene changed again…

I was eleven still and looking at my parents' reflection in the Mirror of Erised for the first time. I was so close to the mirror that my nose was nearly touching that of my reflection. I could feel what I had felt then, a powerful kind of ache inside, half joy, and half terrible sadness.

I watched as my eleven year old self whispered, "Mom? Dad?" and I saw tears come to my eyes.

I had become so consumed in the memory that I forgot that Snape was also watching it. "No," I thought angrily. "You're not watching this. This is private."

I felt a sharp pain in my knee. Snape's office had come back into view and I realized that I had fallen to the floor; one of my knees had collided painfully with the leg of Snape's desk. I looked up at Snape, who had lowered his wand and was rubbing his wrist. There was an angry welt there, like a scorch mark.

"Did you mean to produce a Stinging Hex?" asked Snape coolly.

"No," I said bitterly, getting up from the floor.

"I thought not," said Snape, watching me closely. "You let me get in too far. You lost control, but for a first attempt that was not as poor as it might have been. You managed to stop me eventually. You must remain focused. Repel me with your brain and you will not need to resort to your wand."

"I'm trying," I said angrily, "but you're not telling me how!"

"Manners, Potter," said Snape dangerously. "Now, I want you to close your eyes."

I threw him a filthy look before doing as I was told. I did not like the idea of standing there with my eyes shut while Snape faced me, carrying a wand.

"Clear your mind, Potter," said Snape's cold voice. "Let go of all emotion…"

I tried to empty my mind, tried not to think, or remember, or feel…

"Let's go again… on the count of three… one - two - three -Legilimens!"

I was twelve years old and lying on my bed at 4 Privet Drive. The door and window were barred, and my stomach was rumbling…

I was thirteen and crouching behind a bush at the shore of the lake and watching as dementors closed in on Sirius and I on the opposite shore. I flung myself out from behind the bush and pulled out my wand. "EXPECTO PATRONUM! " I yelled. And out of the end of my wand burst a blinding, dazzling, silver doe. It was galloping silently away from me, across the black surface of the lake. I saw it lower its head and charge at the swarming Dementors…

There was a blast of green light, and I heard something heavy fall to the ground beside me. I could feel the pain of my scar heighten, but then it diminished. I could feel the terror I had felt, afraid of what I was about to see. I opened my eyes. Cedric was lying spread-eagled on the ground beside me…

"NOOOOOOO!"

I was on my knees again, my face buried in my hands.

"Get up!" said Snape sharply. "Get up! You are not trying, you are making no effort. You are allowing me access to memories you fear, handing me weapons!"

I stood up again, my heart thumping wildly as though I had really just seen Cedric dead in the graveyard. Snape looked paler than usual, and angrier, though not nearly as angry as I was.

"I - am - making - an - effort," I said through clenched teeth.

"I told you to empty yourself of emotion!"

"Yeah? Well, I'm finding that hard at the moment," I snarled.

"Then you will find yourself easy prey for the Dark Lord!" said Snape savagely. "Fools who wear their hearts proudly on their sleeves, who cannot control their emotions, who wallow in sad memories and allow themselves to be provoked so easily - weak people, in other words - they stand no chance against his powers! He will penetrate your mind with absurd ease, Potter!"

"I am not weak," I said in a low voice, fury now pumping through me so that I thought I might attack Snape in a moment.

"Then prove it! Master yourself!" spat Snape. "Control your anger, discipline your mind! We shall try again! Get ready, now! Legilimens!"

I was watching Uncle Vernon hammering the letterbox shut, laughing madly…

I was flying around the Quidditch stadium, trying to find the Snitch through all the rain and fog, when an eerie silence fell across the stadium. Then a wave of cold swept over me, inside me. I looked down, and saw at least a hundred Dementors. And then I heard it again… Someone was screaming, screaming inside my head… a woman…

"_Not Alyssa, not Alyssa, please not Alyssa!"_

"_Stand aside, you silly girl… stand aside, now…"_

"_Not Alyssa, please no, take me, kill me instead…please… have mercy… have mercy…"_

Suddenly, I was back in Snape's office. Snape was staring at me, his face pale. It looked as though, this time, Snape had lifted the spell before I had even tried to fight back.

"I want you back here same time on Wednesday," said Snape quietly. "We will continue work then."

"Okay," I said. I was desperate to get out of Snape's office.

"You are to rid your mind of all emotion every night before sleep; empty it, make it blank and calm, you understand?"

"Yes," I said.

"And be warned, Potter… I shall know if you have not practiced."

"Right," I mumbled.

I picked up my schoolbag, swung it over my shoulder and hurried towards the office door. As I opened it, I glanced back at Snape, who had his back to me and was scooping his own thoughts out of the Pensieve with the tip of his wand and replacing them carefully inside his own head. I left without another word, closing the door carefully behind me.

* * *

"How was your Occlumency lesson?" Hermione asked when I joined her and Ron in the Gryffindor common room.

"Horrible," I said. "Snape made me relive the worst memories." I still couldn't shake of the image of Cedric lying dead on the ground or my mother's last words. I also remembered how pale Snape's face was after he had heard Voldemort murdering my mom…

"I have some news that'll cheer you up," said Ron, breaking my train of thought. "Apparition lessons start next week!"

"Nice!" I said. "How'd you find that out?"

"It's on the bulletin board," said Ron. "But I don't turn sixteen until May. Hermione's already sixteen. She's so lucky."

"You're birthday is at least sooner than mine," I said. "I don't come of age until the end of July."

"True," said Ron.

* * *

Later that night, as I was trying to fall asleep, I thought back to the memories I had revisited in Snape's office. I hated hearing my mother's last words, yet I couldn't help yearning to hear her voice. I reached under my bed and pulled out the photo album that Hagrid had given me my first year. I took my wand off of my bedside table and whispered, "Lumos."

I flipped through the pages, looking at the smiling images of my mother and father. Everyone told me that I looked just like my mom, and they were right. I had the same exact green eyes as her, and the rest my face was pretty similar to hers; mine was just a little more angular. My black hair was the only thing that I had in common with my dad's appearance, but it was from him that I had received my talent on the Quidditch field.

"Nox," I whispered, and the light from my wand went out. I slipped the book back under my bed and went to sleep.


	3. My Immortal

We had our first Apparition lesson the next Monday in the Great Hall. We were all trying to Apparate into hoops that were lying on the ground ten feet in front of us. Hermione was able to land in her hoop on her third try. Ron was having a lot of trouble; he didn't seem able to Apparate at all. I managed to land in my hoop on my last try. I felt that I would have been able to do much better if my mind hadn't been on the Occlumency lesson that I was having that night. I was afraid of what memories Snape would make me relive this time.

* * *

I walked down the empty corridor to Snape's office and saw Malfoy and Pansy pressed up against a wall, making out with each other.

"Ugh," I said to myself. It was disgusting watching them slobber all over each other. They heard my footsteps and turned to look at me.

"Ew, what are _you_ doing down here?" said Pansy.

"None of your business," I said.

"You need to learn some manners, Potter," said Malfoy, "or I'll have to take some points from Gryffindor."

"Prefects can't take away points," I said.

"No, but members of the Inquisitorial Squad can," said Malfoy, pointing to a badge on his shirt.

"The what?" I said.

Malfoy laughed. "I'm surprised you haven't heard yet," he said. "Umbridge has appointed certain trustworthy students to be in her squad, and _we_ can dock points from Houses."

"I'm a member too," said Pansy haughtily, pointing to an identical badge on her extremely low cut shirt.

"Whatever," I said, and I turned away and went into Snape's office.

"You're late, Potter," said Snape coldly, as I closed the door behind me. I looked at the clock above Snape's desk. It was thirty seconds past eight.

"So," he said. "Have you been practicing?"

"Yes," I said.

"Well, we'll soon find out, won't we?" said Snape smoothly. "Wand out, Potter."

I moved into the position I had been in last week, facing Snape with the desk between us. My heart was pumping fast with anxiety about how much Snape was about to extract from my mind.

"On the count of three then," said Snape lazily. "One - two - three - Legilimens!"

A huge Basalisk's body was coiling around, hitting pillars as it twisted to face me. I could see the vast, bloody eye sockets, see the mouth stretching wide, wide enough to swallow me whole, lined with fangs long as my sword— It lunged blindly — I dodged and it hit the Chamber wall. I raised the sword in both my hands —The basilisk lunged again, and this time its aim was true — I threw my whole weight behind the sword and drove it to the hilt into the roof of the serpent's mouth — But as warm blood drenched my arms, I felt a searing pain just above my elbow. One long, poisonous fang was sinking deeper and deeper into my arm and it splintered as the basilisk keeled over sideways and fell, twitching, to the floor. I slid down the wall. I gripped the fang that was spreading poison through my body and wrenched it out of my arm. White-hot pain was spreading slowly and steadily from the wound. I could see my own blood soaking my clothes… yet I could also see Snape standing in front of me, his eyes fixed on my face… and somehow, Snape was growing clearer, and the memory was growing fainter… I raised my own wand.

"Protego!"

Snape staggered - his wand flew upwards, away from me - and suddenly there was a memory in my mind that was not mine: a tall man was shouting at a cowering woman, while a small dark-haired boy cried in a corner…

"ENOUGH!"

I felt as though I had been pushed hard in the chest; I staggered several steps backwards, hit some of the shelves covering Snape's walls and heard something crack. Snape was shaking slightly, and was very white in the face. The back of my shirt was damp. One of the jars behind me had broken when I fell against it; the pickled slimy thing within was swirling in its draining potion.

"Reparo," hissed Snape, and the jar sealed itself at once. "Well, Potter… that was certainly an improvement… I don't remember telling you to use a Shield Charm… but there is no doubt that it was effective…"

I did not speak; I felt that to say anything might be dangerous. I was sure I had just broken into Snape's memories, that I had just seen a scene from Snape's childhood. It was unnerving to think that the little boy who had been crying as he watched his parents shouting was actually standing in front of me with such loathing in his eyes.

"Let's try again, shall we?" said Snape.

I felt a thrill of dread; I was about to pay for what had just happened, I was sure of it. We moved back into position with the desk between us. I felt that I was going to find it much harder to empty my mind this time.

"On the count of three, then," said Snape, raising his wand once more. "One - two -" I did not have time to gather myself together and attempt to clear my mind before Snape cried, "Legilimens!"

I was kneeling on the ground inside of the maze, and Cedric was helping me to my feet

My leg was bleeding freely. I leaned against Cedric for support, gasping for breath, and looked around. The giant spider which Cedric and I had just stunned was lying nearby, and the Triwizard Cup was gleaming behind us.

"Take the cup," said Cedric. "You should win. That's twice you've saved my neck in here."

"That's not how it's supposed to work," I said. "The one who reaches the cup first gets the points, and that's you."

"No, you deserve it," he said.

"Stop being noble," I teased. "Take it, then we can get out of here."

"You told me about the dragons," Cedric said. "I would've gone down in the first task if you hadn't told me what was coming."

"I had help on that too," I said. "You helped me with the egg - we're square."

"I had help on the egg in the first place," said Cedric.

"We're still square," I said.

"You should've got more points on the second task," said Cedric.

"Take the cup, Cedric," I said.

"No, you take it."

We stood in silence for a moment, and then I said, "You know, we should take it at the same time. It'll be a Hogwarts victory."

Cedric stared at me. "No, Alyssa, it's your victory," he said.

"Please..."

Cedric just shook his head. I folded my arms stubbornly across my stomach.

"I'm not taking the cup unless you take it with me," I said resolutely.

"Come on, Alyssa..."

I just continued to stand there with my arms crossed.

"You - you sure about this?" said Cedric hesitantly.

"Yeah," I said. "Yeah… we've helped each other out, haven't we? We both got here. So let's just take it together."

"Do you wanna know something, Alyssa?" said Cedric, who was suddenly smiling. "I've had the biggest crush on you all year."

I opened my mouth in surprise. I couldn't believe he was telling me this now, of all times. "But," I said, "when you asked me to the Yule Ball, you said that you were asking me as a friend."

"I thought it would be awkward going out with each other, when we were competing against each other at the same time. But we're not competing anymore..."

"Are you asking me out, then?" I said, smiling too.

"Yes," said Cedric. "What do you say to that."

"That I've had the biggest crush on you all year too."

Cedric chuckled, then leaned down and pressed his lips softly against mine. I leaned up and kissed him back. The pain went away from leg as we stood there, kissing in the moonlight. The kiss seemed to last forever, but then Cedric was pulling away too soon. I reluctantly dropped my hands from his shoulders. I felt the pain in my leg return, but it wasn't too bad, and I was able to stand up on my own.

"So what are we waiting for?" I said, smiling and nodding toward the cup.

For a moment, Cedric looked as though he was going to say no again, but then his face split into a grin.

"Okay," he said. "Let's do it."

We both held a hand out over one of the cup's gleaming handles.

"On three, right?" I said. "One - two - three -"

Cedric and I both grasped a handle. Instantly, I felt a jerk somewhere behind my navel. My feet had left the ground. The Cup was pulling me onward in a howl of wind and swirling color, Cedric at my side.

I felt my feet slam into the ground; my injured leg gave way, and I fell forward. I raised my head.

"Where are we?" I said.

Cedric shook his head. He got up, helped me to my feet, and we looked around. We had left the Hogwarts grounds completely. We were standing instead in a dark and overgrown graveyard.

"Did anyone tell you the cup was a Portkey?" Cedric asked.

"Nope," I said. "Is this supposed to be part of the task?"

"I dunno," said Cedric. He sounded slightly nervous.

"Someone's coming," I said suddenly.

Squinting tensely through the darkness, we watched the figure drawing nearer. It stopped beside a towering marble headstone, only six feet from us. For a second Cedric and I and the short figure simply looked at one another.

And then, without warning, my scar exploded with pain. It was agony such as I had never felt in all my life; my wand slipped from my fingers as I put my hands over my face; my knees buckled; I was on the ground; my head was about to split open.

From far away, above my head, I heard a high, cold voice say, "Kill the spare." A swishing noise and a second voice, which screeched the words to the night: "Avada Kedavra!"

A blast of green light blazed through my eyelids, and I heard something heavy fall to the ground beside me; the pain in my scar heightened, but then it diminished; terrified of what I was about to see, I opened my stinging eyes.

Cedric was lying spread-eagled on the ground beside me.

I bent over him, grasped his shoulders, and shook him.

"No," I whispered. "Cedric! Cedric!...No..."

I felt tears streaming down my face. He was dead. For a second that contained an eternity, I stared into Cedric's face, at his open gray eyes, blank and expressionless as the windows of a deserted house…

I was kneeling on the ground again, staring at Snape's office's cement floor. My heart was pounding in my ears as my eyes stung dangerously close to tears. But I would not let Snape see me cry. I remembered what he'd said at our last Occlumency lesson: Fools who wear their hearts proudly on their sleeves, who cannot control their emotions, who wallow in sad memories and allow themselves to be provoked easily are weak. And I was not weak. But why did Snape have to make me relive that memory? I didn't deserve that. I hated Snape. I _hated_ him!

I stood up slowly, forcing myself to only think about my abhorrence of Snape. I knew that if I thought about the memory I had just seen, I would not be able to hold off my tears any longer. When I was back on my feet, Snape said in his quiet, deadly voice, "You're not working hard enough." I glared at him.

"Same time next week, Potter," said Snape harshly, and I left his office and ran all the way to Gryffindor Tower. Images from the memory kept flashing through my mind. The worst part wasn't even seeing Cedric die; it was watching as I practically forced Cedric to take the cup with me. I led him to his death. The feelings of guilt that I had thought were long gone, were now back, more powerful than before.

When I got into the common room, Neville said hello to me, but I ignored him. I dashed up the spiral stairs to my dormitory, slammed the door behind me, and flung myself onto my bed. Luckily Hermione, Parvati, and Lavender weren't there. I curled up under my comforter and let the tears stream out of my eyes until I fell asleep.


	4. Listen To The Rain

When I woke up the next morning, I was still in the clothes that I had worn the previous day, and I felt very dirty. I got out of bed, took a quick shower, and when I got back into my dorm room, Hermione was up.

"Hi, Alyssa," she said. "I didn't see you at all last night. What happened to you?"

"Oh, I was just really tired after my Occlumency lesson," I said.

"How did it go?" asked Hermione.

"Fine," I said quickly. "Let's go down to breakfast."

Hermione and I walked down to the Great Hall and joined Ron at the Gryffindor table.

"What do we have first today?" he asked, through a mouthful of food.

I pulled my schedule out of my bag and checked it. "Herbology," I said. I looked down at my schedule again and was happy to see that we didn't have Potions until Thursday. At least I would have two days when I wouldn't have to be around Snape.

It was a beautiful day outside, which was good, since I had Quidditch practice that night. I was glad to have practice, because it usually took my mind off of everything else.

* * *

After Quidditch practice, Ron and I decided to drop by Hagrid's since we hadn't visited him in a while. Hagrid made us some tea, and asked us how our Apparition lessons were going. Ron's ears turned red, and I quickly changed the subject to the Umbridge's Inquisitorial Squad that Malfoy had told me about.

"And Malfoy says that they're allowed to dock points," I was saying, when there was a knock on the door.

"Who could tha' be?" said Hagrid. He opened the door, and there stood Professor Umbridge.

"Er, hello Professor," said Hagrid. "Would yeh, er, like teh com' in?"

"Oh, no thank you," said Umbridge, in her sugary sweet voice. "I just wanted to drop by to let you know that I will be observing your classes tomorrow."

"All righ'," said Hagrid.

"Ouch!" said Ron. He had just stubbed his toe on one of the table's legs. Umbridge looked around Hagrid and saw Ron and I seated at Hagrid's table.

"Miss Potter, Mr. Weasley, what are you two doing out of bed past curfew?" said Umbridge. "I will have to deduct points from Gryffindor."

"It's not past curfew!" I said. "It's only eight-thirty."

"Do not talk back to me, Miss Potter," said Umbridge, her fake smile fading from her toad-like face. "I am the High Inquisitor of this school, and when I say it is past curfew, it is past curfew. Now," her sappy smile reappeared, "twenty points from Gryffindor for each of you. And Professor Hagrid, I will have to make note that you are allowing students to break the school rules. There is likely to be some consequences for you too."

Professor Umbridge turned to leave, but I stood up and said, "It's not Hagrid's fault, Professor. He was telling us to leave. We just, er, weren't listening to him."

Umbridge turned around to face me. "I know very well, Miss Potter that you are lying to me. Perhaps you need another week's worth of detentions to learn to tell the truth. Come to my office tomorrow at seven." And with that she left Hagrid's cabin.

I groaned and sat back down.

"Yeh shouldn' o' said anythin'," said Hagrid. "Yeh can't let tha' lady get the bes' of yeh."

"I know," I said. "She just makes me _so_ mad!"

"We should go before that cow comes back and takes more points off of us," said Ron.

"Yeah," I said. "See you Hagrid."

* * *

The next night, I found myself once again in Umbridge's office writing lines with my own blood. The scar on my hand that I had gotten from my previous detentions with Umbridge had almost healed, but now it was bleeding freely again. I wondered if the line 'I must not tell lies' would ever disappear from the back of my hand.

I looked up at the clock. It was already eleven. I had been here for four hours. Surely, Umbridge would let me go soon. As if she heard my thoughts, Umbridge got up from her desk and came over to where I was sitting to check on my hand.

"I think that's good for tonight, Miss Potter," said Umbridge. "You may go. I'll see you tomorrow night at seven."

I quickly left Umbridge's office. When I was one floor away from Gryffindor Tower, I realized that I had forgotten to ask Umbridge for a pass. I thought about going back to get one, but I was now closer to Gryffindor Tower than I was to her office, and the corridors were very quiet. I doubted that there were any teachers wandering about.

But just as I started walking up the hallway again, I heard footsteps behind me rounding the corner. Before I even had a chance to turn around to see who it was, I heard the voice I dreaded most call out from behind me, "Potter!" Could this night possibly get any worse?

I turned around, keeping my bleeding hand out of sight, and faced Snape, who was quickly walking up the corridor toward me.

"What are you doing out of bed, Potter?" he snarled. "Just felt like strutting about the castle after dark? Rules don't apply to you, do they?"

"No, sir, I-"

"You are just like your father, Potter," said Snape, his eyes glinting. "He was exceptionally conceited too. He never felt the rules applied to him either."

"I was with Professor Umbridge-"

"Where is your pass, then?" said Snape.

"I, er, I forgot to get one."

"A likely story," sneered Snape, a nasty smile coming to his lips.

"I swear I was with Professor Umbridge! Ask her-"

"Don't tell me what to, Potter," snarled Snape. "You are wondering around the corridors after curfew. This seems to be a habit of yours. Perhaps a detention will put an end to your misbehavior. Saturday, my office, eleven o'clock sharp."

"Eleven- eleven in the morning?" I said, praying that he meant eleven at night.

"Yes, Potter, eleven in the morning."

"But that's the time of the Quidditch match!"

"Oh, is it really at the same time?" said Snape in mock surprise. "Well, that's too bad. It's your own fault. You broke the rules, and you must pay the consequences. Your arrogance may make you think that you can always get your way, but not this time. I will expect you in my office at eleven o'clock on Saturday."

I glared at Snape, then turned around and walked to Gryffindor Tower, seething with anger. I didn't even want to think about Angelina's reaction. She had been absolutely furious with me when I told her that I couldn't come to any more practices before the match because I had gotten more detentions with Umbridge, but this would be one hundred times worse.

When I got to the common room, a lot of people were still up, including Angelina. I wasn't ready to tell her the news just yet, though, so I went over to where Ron and Hermione were sitting on the opposite side of the room. I stomped over to them, and plopped down angrily into an armchair.

"I hate him! I hate him! I hate him!" I said.

"Who?" said Ron and Hermione at the same time.

"Snape!" I said angrily.

"What happened?" said Hermione.

"He gave me detention at the same time as our match against Hufflepuff on Saturday."

Hermione's jaw dropped, and Ron jumped up in anger and let out a bunch of cuss words.

"What's going on with you guys?" asked Fred, coming over with George and Lee Jordan.

"Snape gave Alyssa detention at the same time as the match on Saturday, so she can't play!" said Ron.

"Shh!" I said, but it was too late.

"What?!" shouted Fred, George, and Lee.

"Snape is such as asshole!" said Fred.

"Now we're definitely not going to win the Quidditch cup," said George. "Angelina is going to murder you when she finds this out."

"Why am I going to murder Alyssa?" said Angelina, who had just come over to us. "Please tell me you didn't get _more_ detentions with Umbridge," she said to me.

Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, and Lee all looked at me.

"Er," I said. "I got detention with Snape… this Saturday at eleven in the morning."

Angelina looked like she was going to explode. She opened her mouth a few times, but couldn't seem to get any words out. Finally she spluttered, "How could you have landed yourself detention _again_?"

"Don't blame Alyssa!" said Ron. "Snape has a vendetta against her."

"Why?" said Lee.

"Don't ask me," said Ron. "He just hates her. Come into our Potions class some day and witness it for yourself."

Finally it seemed as though Angelina had somewhat regained her composure.

"It'll be okay," she said, more to herself than to anyone else. "We just need to find another seeker."

"In two days?" said George. "Fat chance."

"You know, Ginny could play Seeker," said Fred. "She's not bad."

"Yeah," I said. "I've played with her before at the Weasley's house. She's pretty good."

"Okay," said Angelina. "I'll go ask her."

* * *

The news spread quickly about me not playing in the Quidditch match, and all the Gryffindors now seemed to hate Snape, but not nearly as much as I did. Even Professor McGonagall seemed less friendly with Snape at breakfast Saturday morning. The enchanted ceiling of the Great Hall showed that it was pouring outside, which pretty much reflected the sentiments of all the Gryffindors.

Everyone on the Gryffindor team had already left for the locker rooms, and many people were leaving the Great Hall, heading for the Quidditch field.

"You'd better get moving," said Hermione. "It's nearly eleven — you don't want to be late for Snape or he'll give you another detention."

I left the Great Hall and watched mournfully at all the people walking out to the Quidditch field. I sighed and started walking towards the dungeons.

"Heard you got kicked off the Gryffindor Quidditch team," said a voice from behind me. It was Malfoy, who had a huge smirk on his face.

"More like Snape prevented me from playing in the match today, because he knows that if Gryffindor beats Hufflepuff, your team will have no chance of winning the cup," I said as I continued to walk. Malfoy followed after me.

"You're not as good of a Seeker as you think you are," he sneered.

"I don't think I'm an amazing Seeker," I said. "I just know that I'm better than you."

"Bullshit."

"Really?" I said, turning to face him. "Then tell me, why have you never managed to catch the Snitch when you play against me?"

"You get lucky, and uh, let's see… you have a Firebolt! That gives you such a fucking advantage!"

"I could catch the Snitch before you even if I was on a Comet Two Sixty and you were on a Firebolt."

"Wanna bet?"

"What are the stakes?"

"I haven't thought of them yet, but meet me at the Quidditch field at midnight tonight and bring your Firebolt."

"Fine," I said. We were almost at the dungeons. "You should get to the Quidditch game. You're girlfriend's probably waiting for you. I don't think she'd like it if she knew that you escorted me to my detention." I smirked.

"Ha! You wish," said Malfoy. He walked away, then turned back and shouted, "Midnight! You better be there!"

I turned away from him and hurried down the corridor to Snape's office. I couldn't help smiling. It would be fun kicking Malfoy's ass tonight, that is, if he was even brave enough to show up.

I knocked on Snape's office door. I wondered what he was going to have me do for detention. Hopefully it wouldn't be more Occlumency.

"Enter," I heard Snape say.

I opened the door and stepped into his office. I was not used to being here in the daytime, but his office was as dark and bleak as ever. Snape was sitting at his desk, grading papers. He looked up when I came in and pointed to a large cardboard box that was placed on the counter by the sink.

"You will be cleaning all the flasks that are in that box with no magic."

I didn't say anything. I just went over to the sink and got to work. There had to be at least one hundred bottles, but I was used to cleaning. I did it every day at the Dursleys. I worked in silence as Snape graded essays. I strained my ears to hear something, anything, of what was happening at the match, but no sounds from the Quidditch field could be heard all the way from the dungeons. I worked quickly, hoping to finish before the game ended. Finally, forty-five minutes later, I finished washing all the bottles.

"I'm done, sir," I said.

Snape got up from his desk and came over to inspect my work. He slowly examined each flask. He didn't seem to be able to find anything wrong with any of them.

"You can dry them now and put them back into the box," said Snape, handing me an old rag. I took the rag from him. Half an hour later, I was done. I hoped that Snape wasn't planning on assigning me any more tedious work.

"I'm finished," I said.

"You can go now then," said Snape, without lifting his head from the paper he was grading. Just as I was about to open the door, Snape called me back.

"Take your essay, Potter," he said. I walked back to his desk and took the essay from him. It was the one I'd written about the proper use of the Draught of Peace. A spiky, black D was scrawled at the top. I had worked really hard on this essay and was hoping to receive at least a P on it by Snape's standards. I turned the essay over, but there were no comments. I was about to leave again, but then I had another idea.

"Professor Snape," I said, a little nervously. He looked up at me, his cold, black eyes filled with detestation.

"What is it, Potter, I'm busy," he snarled.

"I was just wondering if you could tell me what was wrong with my essay. That way I'll be able to improve in the future."

Snape paused for a moment and then snapped, "I do not remember the mistakes of every essay that I read. But of course you would think that I would specifically remember _your_ essay. Your arrogance astounds me, Potter. You are just like-"

"Let me guess," I said. "My father."

Snape's eyes flashed. He stood up and laid his palms flat on his desk and leaned toward me. "Be under no delusions, Potter," said Snape, his voice menacing, "Your father was a bigheaded bully who cared nothing for the feelings of anyone but himself."

"You know nothing about my father!" I said, and I stormed out of his office, slamming the door behind me. I ripped up the essay that was in my hands and threw the shreds of paper on the ground. I stormed all the way up to Gryffindor Tower.

I entered the common room, and everyone in there seemed to be in as bad a mood as I was. Nobody acknowledged me. Apparently we lost the match, and they probably thought it was my fault, since I had gotten myself detention, but I was too angry at Snape to feel any guilt towards myself.


	5. Before The Dawn

At eleven o'clock that night, I went up to my dorm and pretended to go to bed, but at a quarter to twelve, I slipped my Invisibility Cloak over my body, grabbed my Firebolt, and snuck out to the Quidditch field. Hopefully, beating Malfoy would let some of my frustration out.

Luckily it had stopped raining, but the ground was still pretty damp. I left the Invisibility Cloak at the edge of the field, and I saw that Malfoy was standing in the middle of the field, holding a broom. When I got closer, I noticed that it was a Comet Two Sixty.

"How'd you get that?" I asked.

"Broke into the boom shed," said Malfoy. "This is what you'll be riding."

"Okay," I said. "So what are the stakes?"

"If I win, then I get your Firebolt," said Malfoy.

"Why don't you just get daddy to buy one for you?" I said, mockingly.

"I could," said Malfoy, nonchalantly, "but I'd much rather have yours. Unless you're scared that you'll lose…"

"No, I'm in," I said. "But if _I_ win, then you have to get the Slytherins to stop singing 'Weasley is our king', and you can never call Hermione a mudblood ever again."

"Fine," said Malfoy. I handed him my Firebolt.

"You should say goodbye to it now, because you're not going to be getting it back," said Malfoy.

"I don't think so," I said. "And one rule. You're not allowed to tail me."

"Okay," said Malfoy, and he took a Snitch out of his pocket and let it flutter into the air. It had soon disappeared into the darkness.

"Ready?" said Malfoy, but before I could answer, he was in the air.

I mounted the Comet and flew up after him. I was not used to going so slow. The Firebolt was definitely a much better broom. I went in the opposite direction of Malfoy and scanned the sky for the Snitch. I noticed Malfoy watching me, so I went into a steep dive. He was soon pelting towards me, so I lifted myself out of the dive and laughed as Malfoy went racing towards the ground. He managed to get a hold of the broom before he crashed. He obviously wasn't used to the speed.

Just then, I spotted the Snitch twenty feet above me. I pointed the broom upward and flew towards it, but the wind was dragging the broom back. But since when was there that much wind? The sky had been perfectly clear just a minute ago. I looked back and saw that Malfoy was holding onto the end of my broom, pulling me backward.

"GET OFF, ASSHOLE!" I shouted, but Malfoy just pulled me back even farther. I kicked out my foot and it met Malfoy's arm. I heard him shout out in pain, and he let go of the broom. The Snitch was still in sight, so I sped up, but Malfoy was now right next to me, and he rammed himself into me as hard as he could. My broom couldn't take the force, and I went spinning off toward the ground. I landed hard on my back. I sat up, breathing hard. A second later, Malfoy landed next to me neatly on his feet. He held out his hand to me, not to help me up, but to show the Snitch, which he had caught.

"I won," he said.

"No you didn't," I said. "That was a foul! You can't hold someone's broom!"

"Hey, you said the only rule was that I couldn't tail you, and I didn't."

"Holding onto the tail of my broom counts as tailing me."

"Fine, it was a draw, then," snapped Malfoy.

"Fine," I panted. "I want my Firebolt back."

Malfoy sat down next to me and handed me my broom.

"Thanks," I said.

"So how did you manage to sneak out here without getting caught?" asked Malfoy.

"I have my ways," I said. "What about you?"

"I've had a lot of experience sneaking out here," said Malfoy. "Pansy and I like to fuck under the stands over there."

"Ew, I did not want to know that!" I squealed.

Malfoy laughed. "You're just jealous."

"More like nauseous."

"Have you ever even had a boyfriend, Potter?"

"Yes," I said defensively.

"Who?"

"None of your business!" I said. Malfoy was the last person with whom I wanted to talk about Cedric. Well, second to last. Snape was worse.

"You're lying," said Malfoy.

"No I'm not."

"Who was it then?"

"I'm not saying."

"Fine. How long did you guys date, then?" asked Malfoy.

"Why do you care so much?" I said.

"Because you're lying!"

"Fifteen minutes."

"What?" said Malfoy.

"I had a boyfriend for fifteen minutes," I repeated.

Malfoy snorted and then started cracking up. Through his laughter, he was able to say, "You're- joking- right?"

"No," I said, not smiling at all.

"Let me guess," said Malfoy, who was still laughing. "Neville asked you out, and you felt bad for him, so you said yes, but then you broke up with him fifteen minutes later."

"That's not funny," I said. "Neville's my friend," but Malfoy didn't even seem to hear me; he was still cracking up. Finally Malfoy stopped laughing and he looked at me.

"You have grass in your hair," he said, chuckling. I ran my hand through my hair, but didn't find any grass.

"Here, let me," said Malfoy. He leaned close to me and pulled a few strands of grass from my hair. He pushed a piece of hair away from my face; his touch was surprisingly gentle. Before I knew it he was leaning closer. His lips were nearing mine. My heart was pounding in my chest. Why was I not backing away? Our lips touched. At first I didn't feel anything but shock, but then everything started to melt away around us, and we were kissing passionately.

Malfoy cupped my face with one of his hands, and that touch seemed to make me snap back to reality and I suddenly realized exactly what I was doing. I jerked backwards and stood up.

"I have to go," I said quickly. I ran to the edge of the Quidditch field to retrieve the Invisibility cloak and I draped it over myself. I then dashed to the oak front doors of the castle, heaved them open, and ran up to Gryffindor Tower.

I entered my dorm room, careful not to make a sound. I got into my pajamas and lied down on my bed, on top of the covers. My heart was still beating at a rapid pace. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down, then I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep, but I knew I wouldn't be able to. I felt dirty in my own skin. I couldn't believe that I had just made out with Malfoy in the same place where Cedric had kissed me not even a year ago.

How could I possibly kiss Malfoy? Not only did he already have a girlfriend, but he was a despicable person, and he would probably become a Death Eater in the near future, just like his father, who had laughed as Voldemort had tried to kill me in the graveyard last year. The Malfoy's were horrible people, and I knew that what had happened between Malfoy and I tonight would never ever happen again.

* * *

The next day, I happily didn't run into Malfoy at all, and he didn't approach me. I was worried about Monday, though, because we had both Potions and Defense Against the Dark Arts together.

That night, I was yet again scribbling the line 'I must not tell lies'. Only three more nights of this, I told myself as my hand seared in pain.

"You can leave now, Miss Potter," said Umbridge. "I will see you tomorrow night."

"Actually, Professor," I said, walking up to her desk. "I have remedial Potions tomorrow night, so could I reschedule?"

"Alright, then," said Umbridge. "You can come to my office tomorrow at four instead, but that is the only exception I will make for you."

"Thanks," I mumbled, and I left the room.


	6. Tourniquet

**A/N: Hi everyone! Thanks to all of you who have been reading my story and giving me encouraging reviews. I'm sorry if these next couple of chapters are kind of boring because most of the stuff that is happening happened in the real books. However, I promise that this story is going to deviate from J.K. Rowling's plot after the next few chapters, and it is going to get interesting, so please keep reading and reviewing!!**

Everything on Monday was the same as it always was. Malfoy laughed the loudest when Snape made fun of my potion, and he was still walking down the corridors with his arm wrapped around Pansy's waist. Perhaps he, like me, was trying to forget that the kiss had ever even happened.

"We should go to the library and get some homework done before dinner," said Hermione while we were walking out of the Charms classroom.

"I can't," I said. "I have detention with Umbridge now."

"When are you going to eat dinner?" asked Ron.

"I don't know," I said. "Do you think you can bring some food back to the common room for me? I'm not going to have time to eat until after my Occlumency lesson."

"Sure," said Ron. I walked off in the other direction to Umbridge's office. The parchment and quill were set up on a desk for me as usual.

"You know what to do, Miss Potter," said Umbridge as I sat down at the desk. I wrote the lines for four hours at usual. At ten minutes to eight, Umbridge let me go. I hurried down to the dungeons, but my hand was still bleeding. I went inside a nearby bathroom, washed my hand, and wrapped paper towels around it, trying to make a tourniquet. I held the paper towels there until my hand stopped bleeding. I managed to make it to Snape's office right at eight o'clock.

"Wand out, Potter," said Snape coldly, who was already in position. I was about to reach into my pocket for my wand, but I realized that my hand had started bleeding again. I impulsively put it behind my back, so Snape wouldn't see.

"What are you hiding behind your back, Potter," asked Snape dangerously.

"Nothing," I said, while trying to stop the bleeding with my other hand.

"Give me your hand," snarled Snape.

"Wha-?" But before I could say anything else, Snape had snatched my wrist painfully and turned my hand over.

"I must not tell lies," read Snape with a smirk. "Umbridge sure knows how to discipline."

Snape let go of my wrist, went over to one of his cabinets, and brought back a bottle filled with a thick, yellow potion.

"Put some of this on your hand," said Snape.

"I'm fine," I mumbled.

"I don't want you staining my floor with your blood," snarled Snape, handing me the bottle. I reluctantly took the bottle and rubbed some of the potion onto my cut. Immediately, it stopped bleeding and the pain eased.

"Wand out," said Snape. "On the count of three. One…two…three… Legilimens!"

* * *

The next weekend, we had a trip to Hogsmeade. Ron, Hermione, and I walked through the streets, looking in store windows. It was pretty chilly outside, so we decided to go to the Three Broomsticks, which was very crowded, as usual.

"I'll go get some butterbeer," said Ron, and Hermione and I went to find a table. We finally found a vacant one at the very back of the bar. Just as I was about to take a seat, Malfoy appeared out of nowhere with Crabbe and Goyle at his side, and he sat down in the seat that I was just about to sit it.

"Get up, Malfoy," I said. "This is our table."

"Seeing as I'm the one sitting here, I think this is my table," said Malfoy with a smirk. He motioned for Crabbe and Goyle to sit down and they obeyed.

"Come on, Alyssa," said Hermione. "I see another table over there."

"Yeah, listen to the mudblood, Potter," said Malfoy.

"Don't call her that!" I said, pulling out my wand, but before I had a chance to hex him, Hermione was dragging me away.

"Hermione, why didn't you let me curse him?" I groaned, sitting down at the other table.

"There are teachers here!" whispered Hermione. "If they caught you, you probably wouldn't be allowed to go on anymore Hogsmeade trips. You can't let Malfoy get the best of you."

"Yeah, I know," I said. Hermione was silent. She had that look upon her face that she always got when there was something on her mind, but she didn't want to say what it was.

"What is it, Hermione?" I asked.

"Huh?"

"You have that look. You're thinking about something."

"No, well…" She paused. "I think- I think Malfoy likes you."

"You're joking, right?" I said. My stomach squirmed. Did Hermione somehow know about the kiss?

"It's just that, he's always teasing you and stuff," said Hermione. "I think it's his way of flirting."

"You are so over analyzing this," I said.

Hermione shrugged. "Just promise me you won't fall for him," she said.

I laughed. "Believe me. That would _never_ happen."

* * *

Over the following weeks, I improved steadily during my Occlumency lessons. I was able to repel Snape from my mind every time, and I no longer needed my wand to do it. Our teachers were still increasing our workload, but I didn't have Quidditch practice anymore, so I was able to hold more D.A. meetings.

The first day of March was very warm. After dinner, lots of students went outside to enjoy the nice weather after the long, cold winter. I, however, had to spend my evening in the dungeons with Snape.

"Ready?" said Snape, raising his wand for the third time. Without waiting for my response he said, "Legilimens!"

Before I could even see which memory Snape had broken into, I had pushed him out of my mind. I did it with such force that for the second time, my head was filled with a memory that did not belong to me…

Snape, who looked to be twenty, was struggling to get out of the grip of the Hog's Head barman, who had him in a tight hold. A door nearby them opened, and out stepped younger looking Professors Dumbledore and Trelawney.

"I've caught this man listening at the door," said the barman.

Suddenly, I was back in Snape's office.

"Well, you are certainly improving quickly," panted Snape. "But there is no need for so much force."

I nodded quickly. I was afraid of an angry outburst, but Snape didn't seem to be as upset as last time. He continued to attempt to break into my mind for an hour, but I was able to repel him almost immediately every time. I was, however, careful to do it with less force. I did not want to see any more of Snape's memories and risk ticking him off.

* * *

As I was leaving Transfiguration with Ron and Hermione a few weeks later, Professor McGonagall called me to the front of the class.

"I'll catch up with you guys later," I told Ron and Hermione, and they left the room. I went up to McGonagall's desk, where she was seated.

"Miss Potter, Professor Dumbledore told me this morning to tell you that he wants you to meet him in his office at seven tonight," said Professor McGonagall.

"Er, okay," I said, surprised.

"His password is Chocolate Frog."

"Thank you, Professor," I said, and I left to find Ron and Hermione. They were in the library, working on their homework.

"What did McGonagall want?" whispered Ron.

"She told me that Dumbledore wants me to go to his office tonight."

"Why?" whispered Hermione. I shrugged. Madame Pince was eyeing us nastily, so we stopped talking and did our homework.

* * *

At seven, I went up to Dumbledore's office. When I entered, Dumbledore was seated at his desk. I saw that his Pensieve was placed in front of him, instead of in its cabinet, and I noticed that Dumbledore was looking very grave.

"Have a seat, Alyssa," he said, motioning me to a chair that was placed opposite him. I sat down.

"Professor Snape tells me that you have just about perfected Occlumency," said Dumbledore. "I am very pleased. You must have been working very hard these past few months."

"Does this mean I'm done with my Occlumency lessons?" I asked hopefully.

Dumbledore smiled slightly. "Almost," he said. "You will continue your lessons for one more month, just to make sure you that you have absolutely mastered Occlumency." I nodded. "Now, the reason I asked you to come to my office, Alyssa," continued Dumbledore, looking very serious again, "is because I believe it is time to tell you something that I should have told you years ago. There is no good time to tell you this information, but now that it is coming to the end of your fifth year, I think it is time that I tell you what has been kept from you for so long.

"These past few years, you have proven yourself to be a very brave, intelligent, and capable girl. This news may come as a shock to you, but I am sure that once you've processed it, you will rise to the task."

I was sitting on the edge of my chair, anxious about what I was about to hear.

"Do you remember that you asked me at the end of your first year why Voldemort wanted to kill you? Well, he tried to kill you when you were a child because of a prophecy made shortly before your birth. But when he attempted to kill you, the curse backfired.

"I heard the prophecy sixteen years ago, in a room above the bar at the Hog's Head inn. I had gone there to interview Professor Trelawney for the post of Divination teacher. I, however, was disappointed. It seemed to me that she was a fraud. I told her, courteously I hope, that I did not think she would be suitable for the post. I turned to leave."

Dumbledore raised his wand to his temple, withdrew silvery strands of memory, and deposited them into the Pensieve. With a sigh, he prodded the silvery substance with his wand. A small figure of Professor Trelawney rose out of the Pensieve. But when she spoke, it was in the harsh, hoarse tones that I had heard her use when she made a prophecy in my third year:

"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches… born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies… and the Dark Lord will mark this one as his equal, but this one will have power the Dark Lord knows not… and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives… the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies…"

Professor Trelawney vanished. The silence within the office was absolute. Neither Dumbledore nor I made a sound.

"Professor Dumbledore?" I said very quietly, for Dumbledore, still staring at the Pensieve, seemed completely lost in thought. "It… did that mean… me?"

Dumbledore nodded. I felt as though something was closing in on me. My breathing seemed difficult.

"The end of the prophecy...," I said. "It was something about neither... can live..."

"… while the other survives," said Dumbledore.

"So," I said, "so does that mean that… that one of us has to kill the other one… in the end?"

"Yes," said Dumbledore.

"But why did he do it, then?" I asked, feeling numb and cold. "Why did he try and kill me as a baby if it would mark me as his equal?

"Voldemort's information about the prophecy was incomplete," said Dumbledore. "The Hog's Head inn is a place where it is never safe to assume you are not being overheard. Of course, I had not dreamed, when I set out to meet Sibyll Trelawney, that I would hear anything worth overhearing. My - our - one stroke of good fortune was that the eavesdropper was detected only a short way into the prophecy."

"So he only heard -?"

"He heard only the beginning, the part foretelling the birth of a child in July to parents who had thrice defied Voldemort. Consequently, he could not warn his master that to attack you would be to risk transferring power to you, and marking you as his equal…"

Dumbledore continued talking, but I had stopped listening. I had just remembered something I had seen just a few weeks ago: Snape's memory of being caught listening at the door of a room, in which Dumbledore and Trelawney were located.

"Alyssa," said Dumbledore. "Are you alright?"

Perhaps my face was white, to make him look so concerned. I was sitting stock-still as waves of shock crashed over me, wave after wave, obliterating everything except what I just realized… It was Snape who had overheard the prophecy. Snape was the Death Eater who had passed on the information to Voldemort which made him hunt down my family. It was Snape's fault that my parents were dead. Nothing else mattered to me right now.

"Alyssa," said Dumbledore again. "I know this is a lot to take in, but-"

"IT WAS SNAPE!" I shouted, jumping up. "He told Voldemort about the prophecy, it was him, he listened outside the door!"

Dumbledore's expression did not change, but I saw his face whitened. For a long moment, Dumbledore didn't say anything.

"How did you find that out?" he asked at last.

"During one of my Occlumency lesson," I said, trying not to let my anger take over me. "I broke into one of his memories accidently, and I saw the barman telling you and Trelawney that Snape had been listening at the door."

Dumbledore didn't deny it. In fact, he didn't say anything at all. I couldn't take his silence anymore.

"YOU LET HIM TEACH HERE AND HE TOLD VOLDEMORT TO GO AFTER MY MOM AND DAD!" I screamed.

Breathing hard, I turned away from Dumbledore, who still had not moved a muscle, and paced up and down the office.

"Alyssa," said Dumbledore quietly. "Please listen to me."

It was as difficult to stop my relentless pacing as to refrain from shouting. I paused, biting my lip, and looked into Dumbledore's lined face.

"Professor Snape made a terrible —"

"It wasn't a mistake! He was listening at the door!"

"Please let me finish. Professor Snape made a terrible mistake. He was still in Lord Voldemort's employ on the night he heard the first half of Professor Trelawney's prophecy. Naturally, he hastened to tell his master what he had heard, for it concerned his master most deeply. But he did not know — he had no possible way of knowing — which child Voldemort would hunt from then onwards, or that the parents he would destroy in his murderous quest were people that Professor Snape knew, that they were your mother and father —"

I laughed mirthlessly. "He hated my dad!"

"You have no idea of the remorse Professor Snape felt when he realized how Lord Voldemort had interpreted the prophecy, Alyssa. I believe it to be the greatest regret of his life and the reason that he returned —"

"But he's a very good Occlumens, isn't he, sir?" I said, my voice shaking with the effort of keeping it steady. "And isn't Voldemort convinced that Snape's on his side, even now? Professor… how can you be sure Snape's on our side?"

"I am sure. I trust Severus Snape completely."

I breathed deeply for a few moments in an effort to steady myself. It did not work.

"Well, I don't!" I said. "And I'm dropping out of Potions, and there's no way I'm going to have anymore Occlumency lessons with him!"

"Alyssa, you will go to your Potions classes, and you will have Occlumency lessons for another month as I said before," said Dumbledore firmly. "I do not wish to discuss the matter any further."

I couldn't believe the unfairness of it all. I was furious with Dumbledore.

"And I forbid you from telling anyone what you know about Professor Snape," said Dumbledore. "Not even Ron, Hermione, or Sirius. Do you understand?"

"Fine!" I said, and I left the office, slamming the door behind me.

I lied awake in bed for a long time that night. I was so consumed with my anger at Dumbledore and my hatred toward Snape that I'd all but forgotten about the prophecy. I didn't believe it possible that a person could feel more hatred than what I was feeling now toward Snape. He had gotten my parents killed, and there was no way that he was sorry; his remarks about my father proved that. I couldn't understand how Dumbledore could possibly trust him; I definitely did not.

It wasn't until the morning that the prophecy really hit me, and I realized the future that lay ahead of me. I had to somehow kill Voldemort, or he was going to kill me.

I spent most of the weekend in the library pretending to study or hiding out in my dorm room so that I wouldn't have to talk to anyone. Ron and Hermione asked if something was the matter, but I just told them that I was feeling under the weather. I felt separated from everyone else. Things like Quidditch and O.W.L.s and D.A. meetings, which had seemed so important just a few days ago, now seemed completely insignificant. I had the sole responsibility of vanquishing Voldemort on my shoulders, and nothing else mattered.

I told Ron and Hermione about the prophecy Monday night after dinner in a secluded corner of the common room, but left out that Snape was the one who had overheard it, just as Dumbledore had told me to. Ron and Hermione were shocked, and they didn't say anything for a long moment.

"So- so you are the only one who can kill You-Know-Who?" whispered Ron in disbelief. I nodded.

"Well, we'll help you," said Ron.

"Yeah," said Hermione. "Ron and I will be with you all the way."

"Thanks," I said. I was unbelievably grateful, but I knew that I couldn't accept their help. "I think this is something I need to do on my own."

"Stop being so noble or proud or whatever," said Ron. "Hermione and I have always been by your side, and we're staying there." I smiled. "So when are you going to, er, hunt down You-Know-Who?"

"Well, she's obviously going to graduate from Hogwarts first," said Hermione. "You want to be as prepared as possible. Has Dumbledore said anything else to you about it, Alyssa?"

"He didn't really have a chance to," I said. I looked at my feet. I was rather ashamed of the way I had departed Dumbledore's office that night.

"Oh my gosh, it's almost eight, Alyssa!" said Hermione. "You're going to be late for your Occlumency lesson!"

I groaned. Being in a dungeon alone with Snape was the last place that I wanted to be. How was I just supposed to continue with my Occlumency lessons as if everything was the same?

I reluctantly got up from my armchair and left the common room. I took a deep, steadying breath before knocking on Snape's office door. When I entered, Snape had his back to me. He turned around and our eyes met. I looked into his cold, black eyes and hatred coursed through my veins. I wanted to yank out my wand and blast him into pieces. All of a sudden, the door burst open and Malfoy sped in.

"Professor Snape, sir - oh - sorry -"

Malfoy stop talking when he saw that I was there.

"It's all right, Draco," said Snape. "Potter is here for remedial Potions."

"You're in remedial Potions?" said Malfoy, guffawing. I blushed.

"Well, Draco, what is it?" asked Snape.

"It's Professor Umbridge, sir - she needs your help," said Malfoy. "They've found Montague, sir, he's turned up jammed inside a toilet on the fourth floor."

"Very well, very well. Potter," said Snape, "we shall resume this lesson tomorrow evening."

He turned and swept from his office. Malfoy mouthed, "Remedial Potions?" at me behind Snape's back before following him. I couldn't care less. I would much rather have Malfoy tell the whole school that I was in remedial Potions than have to spend the evening with Snape.

Just as I was about to leave the office, I noticed Dumbledore's Pensieve on Snape's desk. Inside of it were Snape's memories… things he did not want me to see if I broke through his Defenses accidentally. Perhaps they were memories of him passing on the Prophecy to Voldemort or him rejoicing when he found out that James and Lily were dead…

I hesitated, listening, then pulled out my wand. I gave the contents of the Pensieve a small prod with the end of my wand. The silvery stuff within began to swirl very fast. I leaned forwards over it and saw that it had become transparent. I was looking down at a country lane.

I was trembling… Snape could be back at any moment… but boiling with anger at Snape, my desire to do something desperate and risky had increased tenfold, so I took a great gulp of breath, and plunged my face into the surface of Snape's thoughts. At once, the floor of the office lurched, tipping me head-first into the Pensieve…

I was falling through cold blackness, spinning furiously as I went, and then I was standing in the lane that I had seen before. I looked around me. There were neat cottages lined up on both sides of the road. It was obviously very late at night, since the sky was dark, and a full moon was shining overhead. Everything was quiet. It was slightly eerie. I heard soft footsteps coming up the lane from a small distance behind me. I turned around and saw Snape, who again looked to be twenty, walking up the road towards me. I stood still and watched him. He looked eager, but also very nervous.

He walked past me and I followed him down the lane. His pace was slowing and he was nearing the end of the road. He finally stopped, facing the last cottage in the row. I was curious to see who lived in this house. Could it possibly be Voldemort? I was wondering if Snape was ever going to knock on the door, when a hand had closed tight over my upper arm with a pincer-like grip. Wincing, I looked round to see who had hold of me, and saw, with a thrill of horror, a thirty-five year old Snape standing right beside me, white with rage.

"Having fun?"

I felt myself rising into the air; I was floating upwards through icy blackness, Snape's hand still tight upon my upper arm. Then, with a swooping feeling as though I had turned head-over-heels in midair, my feet hit the stone floor of Snape's dungeon.

"So," said Snape, gripping my arm so tightly it was starting to feel numb. "So… been enjoying yourself, Potter?"

"N-no," I said, trying to free my arm. It was scary: Snape's lips were shaking, his face was white, his teeth were bared.

"Just thought you'd go nosing around?" said Snape.

"I - didn't -"

Snape threw me from him with all his might. I fell hard onto the dungeon floor.

"Get out, get out, I don't want to see you in this office ever again!"

I stood up and hurtled towards the door. I wrenched the door open and flew along the corridor, stopping only when I had put three floors between myself and Snape. There I leaned against the wall, panting, and rubbing my bruised arm. I could not get the image of Snape's livid face out of my head. I didn't understand why Snape had been so enraged. Yes, I had intruded into his private memories, but I had barely seen anything. Perhaps Snape was so angry because of what I would have seen if I had stayed in the memory longer….


	7. The Only One

I woke up later than usual the next morning. My whole body ached from having been thrown onto a cement floor the previous night. Almost everyone had already gone down to breakfast. I quickly got dressed, and then went down to the Great Hall and sat down next to Ron and Hermione.

"Why are you wearing long sleeves?" asked Ron. "It's really warm out today."

"I was cold," I said. This, however, wasn't true. I had noticed that finger-shaped bruises had developed on my arm, and I didn't want people questioning me about them.

"We should get going," said Hermione, packing up the book she had just been reading. "We don't want to be late for Potions."

"What?!" I said, accidentily spitting out some of my pumpkin juice. "I thought we didn't have Potions today! Don't we have Care of Magical Creatures first?"

"No, we have that after Potions," said Hermione. "Come on."

"I think I'm gonna skip," I said. I really did not want to be near Snape after all that had happened last night.

"Are you crazy?!" said Hermione. "We only have a month until our O.W.L.s! You cannot miss any classes! Everything we are learning right now is crucial to passing the exams-"

"Okay, I'll go!" I said.

We walked down to the dungeons in silence, my heart beating fast. But how horrible could Snape really be when there were other students around?

When we entered the classroom, I was careful not to look in Snape's direction. I set up my station, listened to Snape's instructions, and began making the potion. Snape didn't acknowledge me all class. For once, I was able to fully concentrate on making the potion, and I felt like I had done everything exactly right.

"Wow, Alyssa," said Hermione. "You're potion is perfect!"

"Thanks," I said.

Snape was walking around the classroom, peering at everyone's potions. I tensed as he passed by our table, but he just continured walking. He stood at the back of the class near our table and called for everyone to finish brewing their potions and to put a sample into a flask.

"That was strange," whispered Ron to me. "Snape didn't come over here once to tantalize you. I thinks that's a first."

"Oh," I said. I picked up a flask and was about to lower it into my cauldron, when I realized that my potion had disappeared. I gasped and looked around. Snape was walking toward the front of the room with a small smile playing on his lips. I couldn't believe it. He must have used a silent spell to get rid of my potion.

"There are only thirteen flasks on my desk," said Snape. "Who hasn't turned their's in?" His cold eyes bore into mine. "No potion, Potter? That will be a zero then."

I could not bring myself to answer. I soon as the bell rang, I hurried out of the dungeon without a backward glance.

I walked down the sloping lawn to Hagrid's cabin by myself. I heard footsteps coming up from behind me, and I hoped it wasn't Malfoy for his own sake. I was in such a bad mood, that if he made just one taunt, I would probably hex him. I looked over my shoulder to see who it was. It was Neville.

"Hi, Alyssa," he said. I stopped walking and waited for him to catch up to me. We walked down to Hagrid's together. When we got there, all the Slytherins were already waiting by the pumpkin patch.

"Oh, did you two get back together?" jeered Malfoy. "Better luck this time, Longbottom. I heard your past relationship only lasted fifteen minutes."

"Shut up, Malfoy," I said.

"Oooh, someone's touchy today," taunted Malfoy. I would have pulled out my wand if Hagrid hadn't come out of his cabin at that moment.

Once the rest of the Gryffindors had joined us, and Hagrid said, "Last class, I taught yeh how teh recognize the signs that a unicorn is nearby, so today you are goin' in teh the Forest to look for these signs. I will split yeh all up into groups o' three. Let's see… Parvati, Seamus, and Crabbe, you're one group. Goyle, Ron, and Lavender, you're together. Hermione, Neville, and Pansy, and Dean, Millicent, and Nott. Who's left? Alyssa and…"

Malfoy cleared his throat loudly.

"Oh righ', Malfoy," said Hagrid. "How could I forget? I guess its jus' yeh and Alyssa, then. Everyone get with yer groups. Don' go too far into the Forest an' make sure yeh stay with yer group. Send up red sparks if yeh get lost."

This was turning out to be a horrible day. I was apprehensive of being in a group with just Malfoy, since we hadn't been alone together since that night on the Quidditch field. Malfoy came over to me, and I said, "Let's just get this over with," before walking into the forest. Malfoy followed behind me. We walked deeper into the forest in an uncomfortable silence. Finally, I couldn't take the silence anymore; I had to say something.

"Look, what happened, er, than night…" I began. "It didn't mean anything and it was a mistake. You know that, right?"

"Oh, _that_," said Malfoy, shrugging. "I had almost forgotten. Obviously it didn't mean anything."

"Okay, good," I said.

"I'm gonna go find Crabbe and Goyle," said Malfoy, and he walked off leaving me alone. I was glad that Malfoy didn't care at all about the kiss either, but I couldn't help noticing that he looked a little upset as he walked away from me. I shook this thought out of my head and walked off in the opposite direction of Malfoy to look for my friends.

* * *

A week before our O.W.L.s it was announced that all fifth year students would be meeting with their Heads of Houses about choosing a career for the future.

"I still have no idea what I want to do as a career," said Hermione, " and my career meeting is in two hours!"

"Relax," said Ron. "No one knows for sure what they want to do yet. McGonagall will help you decide, so you know what classes to take next year. That's what the meeting is for."

"I know. I just hate feeling unprepared," said Hermione. "When is your meeting?"

"Mine's not until tomorrow," said Ron.

"What about you, Alyssa?" said Hermione.

"It's in five minutes," I said, looking up at the clock in the common room. "I guess I should get going."

I left the common room and went down to McGonagall's office. I knocked on her door and entered.

"Good afternoon, Miss Potter," said McGonagall. "Please, have a seat."

I sat down in the chair set up across from her desk.

"Well, Miss Potter," said McGonagall, "do you have any idea what you want to pursue as a career?"

"Er, I was thinking that I would like to become an auror," I said. It was really the only career choice that made sense for me considering the prophecy.

"You'll need excellent grades for that," said McGonagall. "You must receive a minimum of five N.E.W.T.s to be eligible, and they must be at least Exceeds Expectations. Then you'll have to undergo many character and aptitude tests at the Auror's Office. It is a very difficult career path, and they only accept the very best. I don't believe anyone has been taken on in the past three years. Are you sure you are up for it, Miss Potter?"

I nodded.

"I'm sure you would like to know which classes you will need to take next year. Defense Against the Dark Arts of course." She browsed through my file for a moment. "You're grades in that class are excellent, so I'm sure you'll be able to get at least an Exceeds Expectations O.W.L. in that. Also, Charms is recommended. It looks like you are doing well in that class too. Transfiguration is also very important for aurors. Right now you have an Acceptable in my class, but I must tell you that I only except students who get an Outstanding or an Exceeds Expectations on their O.W.L., so you'll need to study very hard. You must also take Potions-"

"I'm _not_ taking Potions next year," I said immediately.

"Miss Potter, I know that you and Professor Snape do not always get along, but aurors must be very knowledgable when it comes to poisons and antidotes. The Auror Office is going to want to see a N.E.W.T. in Potions."

"I'm sorry, Professor," I said. "But I refuse to take Potions next year."

"Miss Potter, _I_ refuse to let you throw away your future because of your relationship with one teacher!"

I didn't say anything. I knew that McGonagall meant well, but she couldn't possible understand, and I was forbidden to tell her.

McGonagall sighed and looked down at my file once again.

"Professor Snape only takes students with Outstandings on their O.W.L. into his N.E.W.T. level Potions class," she said. "Since, according to your file, you have barely managed to pass Potions each year, it is doubtful that you will get above an Acceptable on your O.W.L."

I nodded. I knew that I could probably get an Exceeds Expectations, if not an Oustanding, on my Potions O.W.L., but maybe I would butcher my potion on purpose so that McGonagall wouldn't bother me about taking Potions next year. Then again, I wanted to prove to Snape that I was a good Potion maker by getting an Outstanding on my O.W.L.

* * *

"What was your answer for the third question on the History of Magic section?" Hermione asked frantically.

"We're not going over every single question, Hermione," said Ron. "Our O.W.L.s are finally over so just relax."

"I can't!" said Hermione. "I already know I got so many things wrong. My potion wasn't nearly close to being the correct shade of pink!"

"Seriously Hermione, stop," I said.

Ron, Hermione, and I sat down under the shade of a large tree by the lake. All the other fifth years were scattered about, lying in the sun, having finally finished with all their O.W.L.s. I lied down and closed my eyes and felt the warm sun on face.

"Alyssa," said someone above me. I opened my eyes. Neville was standing over me, so I sat up.

"I was told to give you this," he said, handing me a scroll of parchment.

"Thanks," I said. When he had gone away, I unfolded the parchment and read it outloud to Ron and Hermione. "Dear Alyssa, Come to my office tonight at eight o'clock. We have many important matters to discuss. Sincerely, Professor Dumbledore."

"I bet Dumbledore's going to start teaching you how to fight off You-Know-Who!" said Ron eagerly.

"I hope so," I said.

* * *

At eight o'clock I mounted the spinning spiral staircase to Dumbledore's office, and knocked upon the door with the brass knocker.

"Come in," said Dumbledore. I entered and took a seat across from Dumbledore's desk just as I had done at our previous meeting. I could only hope that this meeting would end better than the last.

"Thank you for coming here tonight, Alyssa," began Dumbledore. I just nodded curtly, for I was still angry with him.

"Now that you have had some time to think about the prophecy," continued Dumbledore, "I think it is only appropriate that I begin instructing you on how to defeat Voldemort, since that is the task at hand."

I nodded again, slightly moving to the edge of my seat, eager to hear more.

"Voldemort cannot be killed in the usual means, which I am sure you must have realized, seeing as he was able to remain somewhat alive after being hit by the Killing Curse that backfired off of you. This is due to the fact that he created Horcruxes."

"What is a Horcrux, sir?" I asked.

"A Horcrux is the word used for an object in which a person has concealed part of their soul. You split you soul by an act of evil- the supreme act of evil. By commiting murder. Killing rips the soul apart."

I listened intently as Dumbledore explained about the Horcruxes. He believed that Riddle's diary, which I had discovered three years prior, had been a Horcrux, and when I had told Dumbledore last year that Voldemort had said, 'I who have gone further than anybody along the path that leads to immortality,' Dumbledore knew that Voldemort must not have created just one Horcrux, but more. Dumbledore believed this number to be six.

At this point I could no longer refrain from keeping my mouth shut. "Six!" I exclaimed, horror-struck. "How will we ever find out where or what they are?"

"I am glad to see you appreciate the magnitude of the problem," said Dumbledore calmly. "But you are forgetting… you have already destroyed one of them. And I have destroyed another."

"You have?" I said eagerly.

Dumbledore told me about a ring belonging to Voldemort's grandfather, which Voldemort had turned into a Horcrux. Dumbledore explained to me that he had been traveling to places Voldemort once knew, in hope of discovering more Horcruxes. From his research, Dumbledore had come across a locket once belonging to Salazar Slytherin and a cup once belonging to Helga Hufflepuff, which he believed Voldemort turned into Horcruxes three and four. For his remaining two, Dumbldore said Voldemort would probably want something of Ravenclaw and Gryffindor, but Dumbledore was confident that Voldemort never got his hands on the only known relic of Gryffindor, the sword. Dumbledore believed that last Horcrux was Voldemort's snake, Nagini.

"The snake?" I said, startled. "You can use animals as Horcruxes?"

"Well, it is inadvisable to do so," said Dumbledore, "because to confide a part of your soul to something that can think and move for itself is obviously a very risky business. However, Nagini underlines the Slytherin connection, which enhances Lord Voldemorts mystique, and I think he is perhaps as fond of her as he can be of anything; he certainly likes to keep her close, and he seems to have an unusual amount of control over her, even for a Parselmouth."

"So," I said, "the diary's gone, the ring's gone. The cup, the locket, and the snake are still intact, and you think there might be a Horcrux that was once Ravenclaw's or Gryffindor's?"

"An admirably succinct and accurate summary, yes," said Dumbledore, bowing his head.

"So… are you still looking for them, sir?"

"Yes," said Dumbledore. "I have been looking for a very long time. I think… perhaps… I may be close to finding another one. There are hopeful signs."

"And if you do," I said quickly, "can I come with you and help get rid of it?"

Dumbledore looked at me very intently for a moment before saying, "Yes, I think so."

"I can?" I said, thoroughly taken aback.

"Oh yes," said Dumbledore, smiling slightly. "I think you have earned that right."

I felt my heart lift. It was very good not to hear words of caution and protection for once.

* * *

As soon as I got back to Gryffindor Tower, I told Ron and Hermione everything that Dumbledore had told me.

"Killing You-Know-Who is going to be impossible!" said Ron after I was done speaking.

"Thanks for the support," I said.

"I can't believe Dumbledore is going to let you go with him if he finds another Horcrux," said Hermione. "It'll be really dangerous."

"Yeah, but the prophecy is about me, not Dumbledore," I said. "I hope he finds it soon."

* * *

There was only one week left before the summer break. Each day I anxiously awaited a letter from Dumbledore saying that he had found a Horcrux, but none came. Finally, on the third to last day before break, I gave up the hope that I would be destroying a Horcrux before returning to the Dursleys.

As I was walking out of the Great Hall after dinner with Ron and Hermione, little Colin Creevey ran up to me.

"Alyssa! Alyssa!" he squealed.

"Yeah, Colin?" I said tiredly.

"I have this letter for you."

My heart leaped in my chest, and I grabbed the scroll of parchment out of Colin's hand and read it quickly.

Dear Alyssa,

Come to my office at ten o'clock tonight. Do not tell anyone but Ron and Hermione where you are going. Wear you Invisibility Cloak.

Sincerely,

Professor Dumbledore

I showed Ron and Hermione the note. Ron looked excited; Hermione looked anxious.

"This is it then?" she said.

"I think so," I said.

At ten o'clock that night, I hugged Ron and Hermione good bye. I took out the Invisibility Cloak from my trunk and walked to Dumbledore's office. I was trembling slightly, but I couldn't tell if it was from nerves or excitement. When I entered the office, Dumbledore was standing and he already had his cloak on.

"Have you found a Horcrux, sir?" I asked eagerly.

"I believe so."

"Which Horcrux is it? Where is it?"

"I am not sure which it is, but I believe it to be hidden in a cave on the coast many miles from here, a cave I have been trying to locate for a very long time, a cave in which Tom Riddle once terrorised two children from his orphanage on their annual trip."

Dumbledore hesitated, then said, "Alyssa, I promised you that you could come with me, and I stand by that promise, but it would be very wrong of me not to warn you that this will be exceedingly dangerous."

"I'm coming," I said, almost before Dumbledore had finished speaking.

"Very well, then. I would like you to wear your Cloak, please," said Dumbledore, and he waited until I had thrown it on before saying, "Very good. Shall we go?"

Dumbledore set off at once out of his office, down to the entrance hall, and out the front doors. I hurried alongside him under the Invisibility Cloak. Together, we made our way out of the grounds.

"Professor," I said quietly, as the gates at the bottom of the drive came into view, "will we be Apparating?"

"Yes," said Dumbledore. "You can Apparate now, I believe?"

"Yes," I said, "but I haven't got a licence."

"No matter," said Dumbledore, "I can assist you."

We turned out of the gates into the deserted lane to Hogsmeade. We turned the corner into the side street where the Hog's Head's was located.

"It will not be necessary for us to enter," muttered Dumbledore, glancing around. "As long as nobody sees us go… now place your hand upon my arm, Alyssa. On the count of three. One…two…three…"

**AN: Thanks for reviewing!**


	8. Lose Control

The smell of the salty sea was gone. Dumbledore and I were back on High Street in Hogsmeade, our clothes wet, the heavy locket in my pocket. Dumbledore staggered slightly, and I saw that his face was very pale.

"Are you all right, sir?" I asked worriedly.

"I've been better," said Dumbledore. "Put your Invisibility Cloak back on and let's get back to my office."

We walked slowly back to Hogwarts. Dumbledore's hand was resting upon my shoulder for support. After what seemed to be an eternity, we were back inside Dumbledore's office. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the large, gold locket with the Slytherin "S" engraved on the front. I placed it on Dumbledore's desk.

"Are we going to destroy it now, sir?" I asked excitedly, still looking at the locket. Dumbledore didn't respond. I looked up at him and gasped. He was hunched over the desk, his right hand clutching his chest.

"Sir!" I gasped.

"Bring Severus to me," he croaked. "I need Severus."

"Yes, sir," I said, and I dashed out of the office. I didn't understand why Dumbledore had to make me go wake up Snape of all people, but I would do whatever I had to in order to help him. The potion that he had drank in the cave must have weakened him more than I had thought. I ran down the many corridors and flights of stairs as fast as I could. Why did the dungeons have to be so far away? Just as I was running down the corridor on the third floor, I came to a sudden halt.

Four figures had just emerged from Umbridge's office. It was very dark, but I recognized one of them as Umbridge. The other three were adults, but they didn't look like teachers. They were walking towards me, so I pressed myself up against the wall and checked to make sure that I was fully covered by the Invisibility Cloak. As they neared me, I was able to hear their conversation.

"Tonight's the night!" sang the large woman walking next to Umbridge.

"Yes. Next year Hogwarts will be mine," said Umbridge gleefully.

"I thought the Dark Lord intended Severus to become Headmaster next year," said the larger of the two men.

"Speaking of Severus, why hasn't he met up with us yet?" asked the large woman. "Dolores, he does know that we are doing it tonight, right?"

"And if he doesn't?" said Umbridge angrily. "I don't understand why the Dark Lord insisted that Severus be the one to kill Dumbledore. I can do it just as well as he can, and then perhaps the Dark Lord will realize that I am better suited to run this school for him."

"We must follow the Dark Lord's instructions!" said the large man. "Greyback, go find Severus."

"Why don't you do it yourself?" snarled the smaller man.

"Unlike you, I am a real Death Eater," said the large man. The smaller man growled and then ran off in the other direction towards the dungeons, where I was supposed to be headed.

Finally, Umbridge and the Death Eaters disappeared around the corner. I was still pressed up against the wall not knowing what to do. My heart was beating fast. Dumbledore had wanted me to bring him Snape, but the man called Greyback was also looking for Snape, and I didn't want to run into him. And I had to warn Dumbledore about Umbridge and the Death Eaters who were probably making their way to his office at this moment in hopes of murdering him.

I sped off back towards Dumbledore's office taking many shortcuts, which I hoped Umbridge didn't know about. The conversation I had overheard between Umbridge and the Death Eaters was running through my mind. I was not surprised at all that Umbridge was a Death Eater, but I couldn't believe that I hadn't suspected it before. She had probably let the three Death Eaters into the school through her fireplace, since hers was the only one that wasn't monitored. Then I remembered what the Death Eater had said about Snape: Voldemort wanted him to kill Dumbledore. What if Snape really was on Voldemort's side? The past month I had been convinced that Snape was a spy for Voldemort, but now I prayed with all my might that Snape really was on our side.

"Chocolate Frogs!" I all but shouted as I screeched to a halt at the gargoyle outside of Dumbledore's office. The gargoyle moved aside and I ran up the stairs and burst through the doors.

"Umbridge has let three Death Eaters into the school!" I panted. "She's working for Voldemort. They're coming here to now to- to kill you."

Dumbledore, who had been sitting as his desk looking pale and weak, stood up and grabbed his wand.

"Was Severus with them?" he asked.

"No, but one of the Death Eaters went to get him. They think he's on their side."

"Alyssa, you need to get out of here _now_-"

But just then the doors to office burst open and I heard Umbridge shout, "Expelliarmus!" My body became instantly rigid and immobile, and I felt myself fall back against the wall. I could not understand how it had happened- Expelliarmus was not a Freezing Charm.

But then I saw Dumbledore's wand flying out of his hand and fall to the floor with a clatter at the other end of the office, and I understood… Dumbledore had wordlessly immobilized me, and the second he had taken to perform the spell had cost him the chance of defending himself. Standing at his desk, Dumbledore showed no sign of panic or distress. He merely looked across at his disarmer and said, "Good evening, Dolores."

"Hello Albus," said Umbridge with an evil smile. "Not so powerful now, eh?"

The other two Death Eaters were standing beside her. Still paralyzed, my eyes staring unblinkingly, I gazed in terror upon the three of them.

"Well, Dolores, I see you've succeeded in bringing some Death Eaters into the school," said Dumbledore calmly. "Tell me, how did you manage to do it?"

"There's no point in trying to make conversation, Albus," said Umbridge in her horrible sugary voice. "I'm going to kill you now."

She raised her wand, and my heart was hammering so hard it seemed impossible that nobody could hear me, but at that precise moment the office doors burst open once more and there stood Snape followed by Greyback. Snape's wand was clutched in his hand as his black eyes swept the scene, from Dumbledore, who was looking even paler and weaker than he had looked just a few minutes ago, to the two Death Eaters and Umbridge with her wand pointing straight at Dumbledore's heart.

"You're not wanted here, Severus!" shrieked Umbridge. "I am-"

But Dumbledore interrupted her, saying quite softly. "Severus…"

The sound frightened me beyond anything I had experienced all evening. For the first time, Dumbledore was pleading. Snape said nothing, but walked forwards. The others fell back without a word. Even Umbridge seemed suddenly cowed. Snape gazed for a moment at Dumbledore, and there was revulsion and hatred etched in the harsh lines of his face.

"Severus… please…"

Snape raised his wand and pointed it directly at Dumbledore.

"Avada Kedavra!"

A jet of green light shot from the end of Snape's wand and hit Dumbledore squarely in the chest. My scream of horror never left me; silent and unmoving, I was forced to watch as Dumbledore was blasted into the air and slammed into the wall. His limp body slumped back onto the ground and it did not move.

"Out of here, quickly," said Snape.

As they vanished through the door, I realized I could move again. What was now holding me paralyzed against the wall was not magic, but horror and shock. I didn't want to look at Dumbledore's body, which was just a few yards away. It had not happened…It could not have happened…I needed to fix this. I threw the Invisibility Cloak aside and ran down the darkened stair case.

Terror tore at my heart… I had to catch Snape…Somehow the two things were linked…I could reverse what happened if I had them both together… Dumbledore could not have died…

I leaped the last ten steps of the spiral staircase and stopped where I landed, my wand raised. I saw the Death Eaters running around the corner at the far end of the corridor with Snape in the lead.

I sprinted forward. Snape must not escape, I must catch up with Snape. I could hear nothing but my own pounding feet, my own hammering heart as I sprinted along the next empty corridor. I skidded around a corner. I could see Umbridge and the other large woman running down the corridor, and the other two Death Eaters who I didn't know were just a little farther ahead of them. I could just make out Snape going around another corner at the end of the corridor. He was a much faster runner than the others. I pelted toward a shortcut, hoping to overtake the other Death Eaters and close in on Snape. Halfway down the concealed staircase, I burst through a tapestry at the bottom and sprinted toward the landing and down the remainder of the marble staircase. The oak front doors were open. Snape must have already reached the grounds.

I flew across the entrance hall and out into the dark grounds: I could just make out a figure racing across the lawn, heading for the forest, beyond which he could Disparate-

The cold night air ripped at my lungs as I ran across the lawn and tore after him through the forest. I ignored the twigs scratching my skin, and the large roots that I was stumbling over. I took aim at Snape's back and yelled, "_Stupefy!_"

I missed; the jet of red light soared past Snape's head; Snape turned. Twenty yards apart, he and I glared at each other before raising our wands simultaneously.

"_Stupe_-"

But Snape parried the curse, knocking me backward off my feet before I could complete it; I rolled over and scrambled back up again.

"_Stupe_-" I yelled for the second time, but Snape blocked the spell again. I could see him sneering.

"_Incarc-_" I roared, but Snape deflected the spell with an almost lazy flick of his arm.

"Fight back!" I screamed at him. "Fight back, you cowardly-"

"Coward, did you call me, Potter?" shouted Snape. "Your father would never attack me unless it was four on one, what would you call him, I wonder?"

"_Stupe_-"

Snape sneered, deflecting the curse once more. "Hurry up!" he shouted at Umbridge and the other Death Eaters, who were walking towards us, panting. "It is time to be gone before anyone else realizes he's dead-"

"_Impedi_-"

But before I could finish this jinx, excruciating pain hit me; I keeled over in the grass. Someone was screaming, I would surely die of this agony, Snape was going to torture me to death or madness-

"No!" roared Snape's voice, and the pain stopped as suddenly as it started; I lay curled in the grass, clutching my wand and panting; somewhere overhead Snape was shouting, "Have you forgotten our orders? Potter belongs to the Dark Lord- we are to leave her! Go! Go!"

I felt the ground shudder under my face as the four Death Eaters obeyed, running towards the gates. I uttered an inarticulate yell of rage: In that instant, I cared not whether I lived or died. Pushing myself to me feet again, I staggered blindly toward Snape, the man I now hated as much as I hated Voldemort himself-

"_Cruc-!_"

There was a loud BANG and I was soaring backward, hitting the ground hard again, and this time my wand flew out of my hand. Snape closed in and looked down on me where I lay, wandless and defenseless as Dumbledore had been.

"No Unforgivable Curses from you, Potter. You haven't got the nerve of the ability…_no_!"

I had dived for my wand; Snape shot a hex at it and it flew feet away into the darkness and out of sight. I stood up slowly and faced Snape. I was merely feet away and I could see his face clearly at last: He was no longer sneering or jeering; his face was full of rage.

"Kill me then," I panted. I felt no fear at all, but only rage and contempt. "Kill me like you killed Dumbledore, like you killed my parents! You're nothing but a murderer and a coward!"

"DON'T-" screamed Snape, and his face was suddenly demented, inhuman, and though he was in unbearable pain- "CALL ME A COWARD!"

And he slashed at the air: I felt a white-hot, whip like something hit me across the face and was slammed backward into the ground. Spots of light burst in front of my eyes and for a moment all the breath seemed to have gone from my body. I heard Snape running through the forest, his footsteps getting softer. I struggled to my feet, looking around groggily for my wand, hoping to give chase again, but even as my fingers fumbled in the grass, discarding twigs, I knew it would be too late. Snape had probably already Disaparated. I located my wand, and stumbled back towards the school. Halfway to the front doors, I sank to me knees; I was shaking in every limb, my body ached all over, and my breath came in painful stabs.

"Alyssa?" I heard Hagrid call. "Yeh all righ'?"

Hagrid's huge, hairy face was swimming above me, blocking out the stars.

"I'm all right," I panted. "What are you doing out here?"

"I saw out my window you an' Snape an' Umbridge an' three other people runnin' into the forest. Wha' the heck was goin' on?"

"Umbridge is a Death Eater, Hagrid," I said, standing up. "She let three Death Eaters into the school, and they went to Dumbledore's office with Snape, and Snape…he…Hagrid, he killed…"

"Killed?" said Hagrid loudly, staring down at me. "Snape killed? What're yeh on abou', Alyssa?"

"Dumbledore," I said. "Snape killed…Dumbledore.

Hagrid simply looked at me, the little of his face that could be seen completely blank, uncomprehending.

"Dumbledore wha', Alyssa?"

"He's dead. Snape killed him…"

"Don' say that," said Hagrid roughly. "Snape kill Dumbledore- don't be stupid, Alyssa. Wha's made yeh say tha'?"

"I saw it happen."

"Yeh couldn' have."

"I saw it, Hagrid."

Hagrid shook his head; his expression was disbelieving but sympathetic, and I knew that Hagrid thought I had sustained a blow to the head, that I was confused, perhaps the aftereffects of a jinx…

" Let's get yeh back up teh the school. Come on, Alyssa…"

I did not attempt to argue or explain. I was still shaking uncontrollably.

"We have to go tell Professor McGonagall about… about Umbridge being a Death Eater," I said shakily.

"Yeah, we'll go find her now," said Hagrid consolingly. He still didn't believe a word I was saying.

Hagrid walked with me back up to the castle. I was in a dreamlike state. I felt as if everything that was happening couldn't possibly be real. Hagrid brought me to McGonagall's office and I told her everything that happened. She did not believe me either, but I convinced her and Hagrid to go to Dumbledore's office, and they gasped when they saw the cold corpse on the ground. Tears streamed down my face as I looked at the body of the man who I respected most in the world and who I so greatly relied on. McGonagall brought me to the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey must have given me a sleeping potion, because I didn't remember anything after that.

* * *

I woke up at noon the next day with Ron and Hermione sitting at my bedside.

"How are you feeling?" asked Hermione shakily.

"Okay," I said, sitting up.

"McGonagall told everyone at breakfast today that Dumbledore died last night," said Ron. Hermione's eyes became watery. "And she said that Snape and Umbridge also fled from the school last night. What really happened?"

I told Ron and Hermione everything, starting with our journey to the cave and ending with my failed attempt at stopping Snape from fleeing the school.

"I can't believe Dumbledore ever trusted Snape," said Ron. We sat in silence for a long moment. Then Hermione asked, "Did you find a Horcrux at least?"

I jumped out of my bed, realizing that I had left the locket in Dumbledore's office. What if his office had already been cleaned out?

"What's wrong?" exclaimed Hermione.

"I have to go to Dumbledore's office now," I said. "Come on."

Without even bothering to change out of my pajamas, I hurried out of the hospital wing, and Ron and Hermione followed me to Dumbledore's office. We entered, and I was relieved to see that the locket was still on his desk. Everything in the office looked exactly the same as it had looked last night. I picked up the locket and showed it to Ron and Hermione.

"This is the Horcrux," I said.

"How do you destroy it?" said Ron.

"I have no idea," I said, shoving it in my pocket. We walked back to the hospital wing, where I changed out of my pajamas, and then we went to the Gryffindor common room, which was very crowded. Barely anyone was talking, though.

"The funeral is at four," Hermione told me.

We sat in silence for a while. I was a little worried about going to the funeral. I had never been to one before and I didn't know what to expect. I wondered if Dumbledore's death would be more real to me once it was over. I still didn't really believe that he was gone. I felt numb to everything around me.

**AN: Thanks for the reviews!**


	9. Where Will You Go

I ate my breakfast in silence the next morning. This would be my last time ever eating in the Great Hall. I had decided after the funeral yesterday that I wasn't coming back to Hogwarts next year. Without Dumbledore, there was no point in returning. I already knew what I had to do in order to defeat Voldemort, and the sooner I got started the better.

An owl landed beside Hermione, delivering to her the Daily Prophet. I saw the headline on the front page: _Mysterious Death of Albus Dumbledore_. Hermione began reading the article, but she soon put the paper down, looking disgusted.

"They're attributing Dumbledore's death to old age!" she said angrily.

"What?!" exclaimed Ron. "That's the biggest load of crap I've ever heard."

"Does it mention Snape and Umbridge?" I said.

"Nope," said Hermione. "I'm not surprised. Fudge wouldn't want people knowing that the Ministry appointed teacher disappeared, and since her disappearance was associated with Snape's, they can't write about Snape either."

After breakfast, we went up to Gryffindor Tower to finish packing. The Hogwarts Express arrived at noon. Ron, Hermione, and I were able to get a compartment to ourselves. I decided to write to Sirius. It took a while to write down everything that had happened. When I finished, I sent Hedwig off and then I decided that I'd better tell Ron and Hermione about my plans for next year.

"I'm not coming back to Hogwarts," I said abruptly.

Ron gaped at me, but Hermione said sadly, "I knew you were going to say that. But what will you do?"

"I'll stay with the Dursley's until I turn sixteen. Then I'll be of age, so I can search for more Horcruxes."

"We'll go with you," said Ron. "Just like we said before."

"No," I said quickly.

"Alyssa, we're going with you. The sooner you accept it, the sooner we can start making plans," said Hermione.

"And you should stay with my family till you turn sixteen," said Ron.

"I have to go back to the Dursley's for at least a week," I said.

"Fine, we'll come pick you up in a week," said Ron.

* * *

The week I spent with the Dursley's seem to drag on for forever. When I wasn't doing chores for Aunt Petunia, I spent my time in my room thinking about all the Horcruxes and wondering how the hell I was going to manage to destroy them all without Dumbledore's guidance.

Finally the end of the week came. I didn't know how the Weasley's were going to be picking me up. I smiled, remembering the time when they blasted the Weasley's fireplace apart in order to get into the house. I didn't even bother telling the Dursleys that the Weasleys were coming to pick me up. I knew Uncle Vernon would explode so I decided against forewarning him.

At four o'clock the door bell rang.

"Who the bloody hell is that?" I heard Uncle Vernon mutter from the living room. I ran to open the door but Uncle Vernon got there first. He opened the door and there stood Mr. Weasley in full wizard attire. Mr. Weasley opened his mouth to say hello, but before he could utter a sound, Uncle Vernon had slammed the door in his face.

"What is he doing here?" shouted Uncle Vernon, towering above me.

"He's come to pick me up," I said calmly. I moved around Uncle Vernon and opened the door to apologize to Mr. Wealsey.

"I'm very sorry about that, Mr. Weasley," I said. "I just have to go get my trunk and then we can go."

"All right. I, er, I suppose I should just wait outside," he said.

"That's probably a good idea," I said, smiling sympathetically. I shut the door again and ran upstairs to get my trunk, which I had already packed. When I got back downstairs, Aunt Petunia and Dudley had joined Uncle Vernon in the entrance hall.

"You're not going anywhere missy!" shouted Uncle Vernon. "I did not give you permission to live with those wackjobs-"

"Look," I said, interrupting him. I decided I should approach this matter calmly instead of threatening him with my wand. I would have liked to jinx the whole lot of them and I could have done it since it didn't matter anymore if I got expelled from Hogwarts, but I decided that I wanted to leave on a rather good note. "I'm never going back to Hog- my school, so once I leave with Mr. Weasley you will never have to see me again. Okay?"

Uncle Vernon looked very pleased to hear that. "If you step out that door you better plan on not coming back," he snapped.

"Believe me, I don't plan on it," I mumbled. I turned to Aunt Petunia and Dudley. "Well, goodbye then," I said.

"Have a nice life," said Dudley.

I looked at him, surprised. I wasn't sure if he was being nice or sarcastic. "Thanks," I said. "You too."

I edged around Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia. Uncle Vernon stared at me looking both happy and angry, but Aunt Petunia kept her eyes down.

I stepped outside, where Mr. Weasley was waiting for me.

"All set?" he asked.

"Yeah. Did you Apparate here?"

"Yes. I thought that would be a better idea than using Floo Powder." We both laughed. "You can Apparate, right?" said Mr. Weasley. I nodded. I didn't have a license since I wasn't sixteen yet, but Mr. Weasley didn't have to be reminded of that.

We Apparated to the Burrow. My heart lept in my chest when I saw the lopsided house in the distance. This place always felt so much more like home to me than the Durselys house. Mr. Weasley and I walked up the path, around the overgrown garden, and through the back door.

"We're here!" shouted Mr. Weasley. Immediately a rush of redheads came forward greeting me cheerfully and hugging me. I had to pull Mrs. Weasely away from me before I suffocated.

"Come into the kitchen, dear. You must be starving. Dinner is just about ready."

The whole family moved into the kitchen. I held back and grabbed Ron's shirt to prevent him from following the rest.

"Have you told your mom yet that you're not going back to school next year?" I whispered.

"Yeah," said Ron. "She freaked. She thinks she's going to change my mind, of course."

"What about Hermione?"

"I don't know what she's told her parents. She's coming here the last week in July to visit."

"That's good timing," I said, "because once I turn sixteen on July 31, I wont have the Trace anymore, so we can start our search."

"That's what I was thinking."

"Are you two coming in?" shouted George from the kitchen.

"Coming!" said Ron.

At the dinner table Mr. Weasley was talking about his work at the Ministry.

"What's happening at the Ministry now?" I asked. "What do people think of Dumbledore's death?"

"Well Fudge is obviously trying to cover it up so people won't start suspecting that You-Know-Who really is back and was involved in Dumbledore's death. Right now he's using the excuse of old age, but a lot of people don't believe that. I'm sure Fudge is trying to think of a better reason. But people aren't stupid. A lot of things have been changing at the Ministry and people are taking notice."

"Like what?"

"First of all, this past year the Ministry became very anti- Dumbledore and many didn't like that. Dumbledore had an outstanding reputation for his whole life and suddenly the Mininstry was treating him as the enemy. And our policies concerning muggle borns have changed drastically. The Ministry is becoming very intolerant of them. There has been talk of taking away their wands."

"They can't do that!" I exclaimed. "They have no right!"

"I know, Alyssa," said Mr. Weasley. "But many people at the top of the Minisitry don't feel that way."

"Why?"

"Well, the Order has been investigating and we believe that You-Know-Who put many of Fudge's top advisors under the Imperius Curse. And you know Fudge, he can't make any decisions on his own. It used to be Dumbledore who guided him, but now its his advisors who are under You-Know-Who's control. I hate to say this, but I think that it will only be a short while until Fudge is assasinated and one of his advisors is put in charge."

"Arthur, can we not talk about this right now?" hissed Mrs. Weasley.

"Why wouldn't Voldemort put himself in charge?" I asked, pretending as if I hadn't heard Mrs. Weasley.

Mr. Weasley shuddered when I said Voldemort's name, but he continued, saying, "I believe that You-Know-Who does not want to make his existence known until he has fully taken over both the Ministry and Hogwarts. If he shows himself now, people may still be brave enough to fight back, but once he has total control of the wizarding world's most important establishments, he will be all powerfull and people will be much more fearful about going against him."

"If only people had listened to Dumbledore last year instead of acting like airheaded idiots!" I said a little too loudly.

"You let it out girl!" said Fred. Everyone laughed and I glared at him playfully. The conversation became lighter and soon I headed upstairs with Ginny to go to bed.

* * *

The weeks that I spent with the Weasleys were very enjoyable. I couldn't help thinking that this may be the last time when I felt safe and relaxed. Everyday Mrs. Weasley tried to convince Ron and me to return to Hogwarts, but I think deep down she knew that there was no changing our minds. Fred, George, and Ginny were constantly trying to get Ron and me to tell them what we were planning on doing instead of going to school, but we wouldn't budge. In truth, I didn't even know where we were planning on going. Ron and I had decided to put off thinking about that until Hermione arrived. As much as I wanted to see Hermione, I was dreading her arrival, since it meant that I would have to start thinking about the Horcruxes again.

* * *

Hermione arrived the next Monday. After the whole Weasley family greeted her and Mrs. Wealsey made sure that Hermione was properly fed, the three of us managed to escape to Ron's room.

"Have you guys made any progress?" Hermione asked before Ron had even closed the door.

"We can't even have a friendly chat before getting down to business?" said Ron. "The warm weather definitely hasn't changed you at all."

"Shut up, Ron, this is serious," said Hermione. "If we're leaving in a week, we have to have some sort of a plan."

We stood in silence for a moment.

"Well, I guess that answers my question," said Hermione. "Lucky for you two, I haven't been wasting my time." Hermione reached into one of her bags and pulled out a giant book. I walked over and looked at the cover. The title read: _Secrets of the Darkest Art_.

"I just finished reading this," said Hermione. "It's horrible," she added with a shudder.

"Where did you get it?" I asked. "There aren't any books on Horcruxes at the Hogwarts library. Dumbledore said he had removed them all."

"That's true," said Hermione. She looked down at her feet. "What I did was- it wasn't stealing- I just-"

"Get to the point," groaned Ron.

"I was in my dorm room and I Summoned them. It was easy. They just zoomed right out of Dumbledore's study window and into mine. I did it after the funeral."

"You're a genius!" said Ron. Hermione smiled.

"Does the book tell you how to destroy Horcruxes?" I asked eagerly.

"Yes. You need to use an extremely strong substance, like Basalisk venom."

"Well that's just great," muttered Ron.

"I wonder how Dumbledore destroyed the ring," I said, ignoring Ron.

"Perhaps he used a Basalisk fang like you used on Riddle's diary," offered Hermione.

"Maybe, but where would he have gotten it from? He's not a Parselmouth. He wouldn't have been able to get into the Chamber of Secrets."

"We can worry about that later," said Hermione. "Right now there is a more pressing issue."

"Which is?" asked Ron.

"Taking care of your family."

"What do you mean? My family is fine!"

"They are now, but You-Know-Who is obviously going to find out that Alyssa's not at Hogwarts anymore if he manages to get the school under his control. And he'll know that you and I are also not at Hogwarts and he'll suspect that we're with Alyssa, and he'll send Death Eaters to interrogate our families about our whereabouts."

"Well, what have you done about it?" asked Ron.

"I modified my parents memories so that they think their named are Wendell and Monica Wilkins and they've moved to Australia. They don't know they have a daughter."

Hermione's eyes become teary and I gave her a reassuring hug.

"I'm sorry," said Ron quietly.

"You don't have to do this, Hermione," I said softly. "Neither of you need to come with me."

"Alyssa, we are not having this conversation again!" shrieked Hermione and I jumped away from her, surprised at her aggresiveness. "Now start thinking about a way to protect the Weasleys!"

We sat in silence for a while, deep in thought. Suddenly Ron shouted out, "I have it!"

"You do?" said Hermione skeptically.

"You know my ghoul? I'll dye its hair red, dress it in my clothes, give it some more boils, and it'll sleep in my bed when we're away. That way when the Death Eaters come to interrogate my parents, they'll show them the ghoul and say that I have spattergroit. They wont come close enough to see that it's a ghoul because spattergroit is really contageous!"

Hermione and I stared at Ron with our mouths open.

"That's- that's brilliant!" gasped Hermione.

"Why are you guys so shocked when I think of something smart?" said Ron.

"You're shocked too, admit it!" I said jokingly. Ron punched me in the arm lightheartedly and we all laughed. It felt good to joke around for once. Everything around me had felt so morose since Dumbledore's death, but I could always count on Ron and Hermione to cheer me up.

* * *

When Ron, Hermione, and I went down to breakfast the next morning we saw three envelopes on the kitchen table that were addressed to us. Hermione picked hers up first. She looked at the envelope and screamed.

"What's wrong?" Ron asked quickly.

"It's our O.W.L. scores," she said. Ron and I laughed at her.

"They don't matter," I said. "We're dropping out of school, remember?"

"Yeah, I guess I just forgot for a moment," said Hermione quietly. I felt a guilty pang in my chest. I knew how much Hermione loved school, and it was my fault that she would never go back. But then again, I thought, it may not take years to destroy all the Horcruxes, and maybe she could still go back to schoo. But I knew that wasn't realistic at all.

"Let's all open them at the same time," I said. We all held the envelopes in our hands. "On the count of three. One. Two. Three!"

I tore the envelope open and pulled out the piece of paper that held my scores. It seemed like ages ago that I took the O.W.L.s, but it had only been a couple months. I quickly scanned the page. I had received an Acceptable in Divination and History of Magic, an Exceeds Expectations is Transfiguration, Care of Magical Creatures, Astronomy, Herbology, and Charms, and an Outstanding in Defense Against the Dark Arts and Potions.

I couldn't believe that I had gotten a passing grade in every subject. And I had gotten an Outstanding in Potions. I could have studied to become an Auror if I was going back to Hogwarts, but I pushed that thought out of my mind. I was living a different life now. And anyways, if Snape returned to Hogwarts, I would have to have him as a teacher. Just thinking about Snape made my stomach knot with hatred. I wanted to scream just thinking about him. He had singlehandedly managed to destroy my life. I didn't think I could manage being in the same room with him without lunging for his throat.

"How did you guys do?" Ron asked, interrupting my thoughts. He was looking over Hermione's shoulder.

"Holy crap, you got Outstanding in everything!"

"No, I got Exceeds Expectations in Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"And you're upset about that?" scoffed Ron. Hermione ignored him.

"Wow, you did really good too," said Ron, who was now peering over my shoulder.

"Thanks," I said.

"I feel really stupid next to you two," said Ron.

"Don't," I said. "I mean you're the one who came up with the genius ghoul idea."

"Speaking of that, we should get started on it," said Hermione.

"Can't we have breakfast first?" said Ron.

"Fine," said Hermione, smiling.

After breakfast, we spent the rest of the day preparing Ron's ghoul. That night, Ron showed Mr. and Mrs. Wealsey the ghoul and explained his idea. Mr. Weasley approved, but Mrs. Weasley broke down sobbing. I felt terribly guilty.

That night I lied awake in bed thinking of where the missing Horcruxes could be. I ran them through my head again. The diary and the ring were already destroyed. I had the locket and Voldemort had the snake. That left two more, which were probably the Hufflepuff cup and something belonging to Ravenclaw. But where could they be? One might be hidden somewhere in Hogwarts or at the Ministry. Then it came to me- Gringotts.

Gringotts was one of the Wizarding world's major establishments and Voldemort would never have had any gold when he was younger. He would have envied anyone who had a key to a Gringotts vault. He probably saw it as a symbol of belonging to the wizarding world. But I couldn't imagine Voldemort having his own vault. He might have put it in one of his most trusted Death Eater's vaults, I thought. He had given the diary to Lucious Malfoy. Who's to say that he didn't give him another Horcrux too? I knew it was a longshot, but it was a start. But then I realized what I was thinking. Ron, Hermione, and I would have to break into Gringotts, and that was probably one of the most dangerous things we could do.

* * *

"We have to break into Gringotts."

Ron and Hermione gaped at me from across the room. It was the next morning and we were in Ron's room discussing our plans.

"You have to be kidding me," said Ron.

"What makes you think that there's a Horcrux in Gringotts?" asked Hermione.

I explained to Hermione my theory.

"That is plausible, but there's a slim chance that the Horcrux, even if it is in Gringotts, is in the Malfoy's vault. Malfoy got the diary destroyed, so I would assume that You-Know-Who wouldn't trust him with Horcruxes anymore. If the Horcrux was orignally in the Malfoy's vault You-Know-Who probably had it removed after the diary was destroyed."

"How?" I said. "Voldemort came back to life just a year ago. He can't go into Gringotts and remove it himself, and I doubt he would trust Lucious to take it out of his own vault. He wouldn't want anyone touching it."

"True," said Hermione.

"So how are we getting in?" asked Ron.

"Wait, we haven't decided yet if we're breaking in," said Hermione quickly. Ron and I looked at her.

"What other options do we have?" I said. "Do you have any ideas of safer places where a Horcrux may be?" Hermione shook her head. "Okay, then," I said. "I was thinking last night, and I think I know a way to break in. But we're going to need some polyjuice potion."

"But that takes two months to brew!" exclaimed Ron.

"We're in luck," said Hermione. "I have some. I assumed that we'd need it, so I brewed it while we were still in school. It's in my trunk."

"You're amazing, Hermione," said Ron.

"So what's the plan?" Hermione said turning to me.

"Okay, I'm going to go to Malfoy's house and I'm going to get a hair from him."

"From Draco or Lucious?" asked Ron.

"Draco," I said. "He's of age so he can access his family's vault on his own."

"But how are you going to get his hair?" asked Hermione.

"I have an idea," I said, smiling.

* * *

I made sure that the Invisibilty Cloak was fully covering me and then I looked around the place where I had just Apparated. I was standing on a stone path that led up to a huge white mansion. I walked quietly around the manor looking for a back door that might be unlocked.

When I got to the back of the house I came to a sudden hault. Lucious and his wife were sitting at a patio table only a few yards away from me. I was about to turn around, when I noticed there was an open door to the house behind them. My heart hammering, I inched past them trying not to make a sound and went through the open door.

I let out a sigh of relief once I was inside. Now I just had to find Malfoy in this huge mansion. I didn't even want to think of the possibilty that he wasn't home. I walked around the first floor, but I only spotted a servant. I mounted the white marble stairs up to the second floor. I walked down a hallway and heard loud music coming from a room in the distance. I walked quickly toward to the noise. The door to the room it was coming from was slightly ajar. I peered inside, and sure enough, there was Malfoy, lounging on his bed, flipping through a Quidditch magazine.

My heart was pumping fast as I slipped off the Invisibilty Cloak and stuffed it into my jean's pocket, which I had Hermione magically enlarge to fit it. I open the door all the way, stepped inside the room, and closed the door behind me. Malfoy looked up when he heard the noise. When he saw me, his mouth dropped open in shock and he jumped off the bed.

"Potter, what the hell are you doing here? How the fuck did you get in?"

"Shh," I said, walking toward him. "I'm only staying for a second. I'm not coming back to Hogwarts next year, so I'll probably never see you again. I just wanted to say goodbye."

Malfoy was about to say something, but before he could, I leaned up and kissed him hard on the mouth. Malfoy grabbed my waste and pulled me in closer and kissed me back passionately. I wrapped my arms around his neck and let my hands roam through his blonde hair. He hadn't had it trimmed since school, which I was glad of. It would make my job a lot easier. With two fingers, I got a hold of a strand of hair, and I yanked.

"Ouch!" said Malfoy, jerking away from me.

"Sorry," I said. "I guess I was a little to eager."

Malfoy rubbed the back of his head and chuckled.

"I have to go," I said.

"Wait, don't-" started Malfoy, but I was already running from the room, with his precious hair clasped in my hand. With my free hand, I pulled the Invisibility Cloak out of my pocket and threw it over myself. I looked back and saw Malfoy looking down the hallway for me. Then, to my relief, he went back into his room.

I left the house the same way I came in. Malfoy's parents were still outside, but another woman had joined them. I recognized the woman as Bellatrix Lestrange. I remembered seeing her picture in the Daily Prophet when the massive Azkaban breakout had occurred last year. I had heard that she was also one of Voldemort's most trusted Death Eaters. Maybe the Horcrux was in her vault. I looked at her and noticed her jacket hanging over her chair. There were many long black hairs clinging to it.

Holding my breath, I made my was over to the jacket. The three of them were chatting and laughing. Hopefully they were making enough noise so that they wouldn't hear me. I reached out a hand and grabbed one of the hairs. Then I ran without stopping to look back. When I reached the front of the house, I apparated back to the Burrow.

**AN: Thanks for the reviews!**


	10. Lies

Ron and Hermione were standing outside the front door awaiting my return. When they saw me appear, they ran over to me and Hermione hugged me.

"I was so worried," she said.

"Did you get Malfoy's hair?" asked Ron.

"Yes," I said, opening up my hand to show them the short blonde hair. "And Bellatrix Lestrange was there too, so I also got one of her hairs. We can try both vaults."

"Perfect! We should put the hairs in a safe place," said Hermione, leading us back into the house.

"How did you do it?" asked Ron.

"Bellatrix's hair was on her jacket, so I just pulled it off, and to get Malfoy's hair I, er, I just pulled it out when he wasn't looking."

Once we were back in Ron's room, Hermione said, "When are we planning on breaking into Gringotts?"

"The day after my birthday," I said.

"Man, that's in three days," said Ron.

"All right. We need a really good plan if we're going to do this," said Hermione.

"I was thinking that I would turn into Bellatrix and Ron would turn into Malfoy," I said.

"Ugh, why do I have to be Malfoy?" Ron groaned.

"I don't want to grow a dick, and I don't think Hermione wants to either," I said. Hermione laughed.

"Fine. I'll do it," said Ron, laughing too.

"Hermione, you can be under the Invisibility Cloak" I said. "Then we'll Apparate to Diagon Alley and go to Gringotts."

"What if the real Draco and Bellatrix are in Diagon Alley that day too?" said Hermione.

"We'll just have to make sure they don't see us. There's no way we can know in advance where they are going to be."

"Yes, I suppose," said Hermione.

"Okay, so once we're in Gringotts, I'll go to Bellatrix's vault, and you two will go to Malfoy's. Look for either a gold cup with the Hufflepuff symbol on it or something with the Ravenclaw symbol. Then we'll leave. If everything goes well, it shouldn't be too hard."

"Are we coming back here afterwards?" asked Ron.

"I don't think we should plan on it," said Hermione. "What if something goes wrong? We need a hidden place to go to."

"What about Grimmauld Place?" said Ron. "I'm sure Sirius wouldn't mind, right Alyssa?"

"No, he would probably love it, but I don't want to put him in danger either," I said. We sat in silence for a few minutes, stumped once again. "Ron, does your Dad still have the tent that we stayed in when we went to the Quidditch World Cup?" I asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"We could pack that and then just hide out in the forest where the World Cup was. No one would find us there, and we can stay there until we figure out what to do next."

Ron and Hermione agreed that it was the best plan. "We should start packing then," said Hermione. We gathered everything that we thought we would need in Ron's room, including the tent, canned food, books, clothes, and more.

"Put all that stuff in here," said Hermione, holding out a small bag.

"How is all this stuff going to fit in that tiny bag?" said Ron.

"I charmed it," said Hermione.

"Where do you learn all these spells, Hermione?" asked Ron.

"Unlike you, I read."

* * *

The morning of July 31st, I woke up earlier than usual. I climbed out of bed careful not to wake Hermione or Ginny. While walking down the stairs to the kitchen, I realized I was finally sixteen and no longer had the Trace. I could use magic now whenever I wanted. I was tempted to go back up to my room to get my wand and do a bunch of spells while the rest of the household was still asleep, but I decided against it.

When I entered the kitchen, I was surprised to see that Fred was also there, but more surprising was the look on his face. Fred, who always looked like he was ready to crack a joke, looked angry and upset. He turned when he heard me come in.

"Is something wrong?" I asked.

"Yeah. Take a look at this," said Fred, pointing to the Daily Prophet, which was on the table. I picked up the paper and my mouth dropped open at the headline: _Fudge Found Dead in His House Last Night_.

"Oh my god, does your Dad know?"

"Yeah. He already left for work."

I looked back down at the article and began to read.

_Cornelius Fudge, the Minister of Magic, was discovered dead in his home on July 30th at eight o'clock PM by Pius Thicknesse, his head advisor._

_"When Fudge did not show up for our meeting that evening, I was worried, since he is an extremely timely man," says Thickness. "I went to his home to check up on him and found him lying motionless on the floor of his study."_

_After several examinations, the Healers at St. Mungos have concluded that Fudge died of a severe heart attack._

"Are they serious?" I exclaimed. "A heart attack? It's so obvious that Thicknesse went into Fudge's home and killed him. I bet there wasn't even any meeting scheduled."

"That's exactly what Dad thinks, and I agree," said Fred. "Thicknesse is one of the advisors who's under the Imperius curse. They probably also put the Healer who was examining Fudge under the Imperius curse too. Keep reading. It gets much worse." I turned back to the paper and continued to read.

_Thicknesse will be taking Fudge's place as Minister of Magic, since he was Fudge's highest advisor and has much experience dealing with Ministry issues. When asked what changes he will make within the Ministry, Thicknesse replied, "There are not many aspects of the Ministry that need to be changed since Fudge was an excellent Minister, but we will be getting much stricter on Muggle-born policies."_

I looked up at Fred, totally disgusted. "Now Voldemort basically has the whole Ministry under his control," I said.

"I just wonder how much longer it's going to take for people to start realizing that you and Dumbledore were telling the truth about You-Know-Who being back."

"Probably not until Voldemort actually shows himself," I said. "I don't' get why he's waiting so long."

"Yeah, I don't know," said Fred. "Maybe he's busy with other things."

I put the paper down, not wanting to read anymore.

"There's one more thing you should read," said Fred, as if he had read my mind. He scanned the paper, and pointed to the paragraph he wanted me to read. I looked over his shoulder and read it.

_Thicknesse's first action as Minister of Magic was announcing that attendance at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry is now compulsory for every young witch and wizard. After much deliberation, Severus Snape, the Potions Master at Hogwarts, has been appointed the new Headmaster of the school._

"What?! No!"

"I know. Now You-Know-Who has both the Ministry and Hogwarts."

"The other teachers won't stand for this! They know the truth, they know how Dumbledore died!"

"They'll stay, though," said Fred. "They need to protect the students. They'd probably end up in Azkaban if they tried to leave, anyways."

"I just hate the thought of Snape sitting at Dumbledore's desk touching all his things." I shook my head, trying to get the image of Snape reclining in Dumbledore's chair, smiling smugly, out of my mind. If only I had been able to stop him from fleeing the school that night. Images of Snape's face etched with hatred towards me filled my mind.

"Oh, happy birthday, by the way," said Fred, smiling.

"Ha, thanks," I said. "This is probably the best present I've ever received."

"I tried."

* * *

Everyone was in a bad mood at breakfast after reading the article.

"I'm sorry this had to happen on your birthday, dear," said Mrs. Weasley.

"It's okay," I said. I thought to myself that is was probably a sign that this was going to be a very bad year for me. "I'm going to visit Sirius today. To say goodbye."

"When are you three leaving?" asked Mrs. Weasley quietly.

"We're leaving tomorrow, Mum," said Ron.

Mrs. Weasley had to choke back a sob. "Why so soon?" she cried. "Can't you stay a bit longer? Maybe you can go to school for another year," she added hopefully.

"Mum, I'm definitely not going back to Hogwarts now that Snape is Headmaster," said Ron.

"I don't want to go either," said Ginny.

"Do not start with me, young lady!" shouted Mrs. Weasley, and Ginny was quickly silenced.

"The sooner we leave, the sooner we'll be back," said Ron, trying to sound convincing.

When Mrs. Weasley started to cry, I decided it was a good time to leave the table. Ron needed to be alone with his mom. Hermione followed me back up to our room.

"I feel horrible," I said. "Mrs. Weasley has always been so good to me and now I'm taking Ron away from her."

"It's not your fault," said Hermione. "It's Ron's choice."

"I'm going to visit Sirius for the day," I said. "I'll be back later."

I got dressed quickly and Apparate to Grimmauld Place. I landed on the top stoop and opened the door. I didn't bother ringing the bell, since I didn't want Sirius's mother to start screaming. I closed the door behind me.

"Sirius?" I called out. "Hello?"

I heard hurried footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Alyssa!" Sirius exclaimed when he saw me. He ran to me and gave me a huge hug. "What a great surprise! Happy Birthday!"

"Thanks," I said.

"I was just about to send off your present. Come upstairs. I'll give it to you."

I followed Sirius upstairs to his bedroom and took the small, brown package that he handed to me. I tore off the paper and opened the box. Inside was a small leather pouch with a drawstring to tie around the waist.

"Thanks, Sirius!" I said, hugging him.

"It's made out of Mokeskin. You can put anything in there and only the owner can take it out. It's very rare."

"It's perfect," I said.

"Now let's talk about you," said Sirius. "I got your letter saying you've decided not to return to Hogwarts." I nodded. "Can you tell me what you'll be doing instead?"

"Dumbledore left me some stuff to do. That's about all I can say."

Sirius nodded. "And Ron and Hermione?"

"They're coming with me. Mrs. Weasley is having a really hard time dealing with it."

"You know, I could come to," said Sirius. "You wouldn't have to tell me what you are doing."

"Thanks, but I don't see how that could work. If you're with us all the time, you're bound to find out what we're doing and Dumbledore gave me specific orders to only tell Ron and Hermione. I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize. Just promise me you'll be careful."

"I will. Don't worry."

* * *

I returned to the Burrow at dinner time. All the Weasley's were in the kitchen about to sit down for dinner, except Mr. Weasley, who I assumed was still at the office.

"Oh good, you made it back in time for dinner," said Mrs. Weasley. "Have a seat."

I was very quiet during dinner. I was still thinking about Sirius. It had been so hard saying goodbye. I knew he was hurt by the fact that I didn't want him coming along, but I did not want to put any more people whom I loved in danger on my behalf.

"Time for birthday cake," said Mrs. Weasley, caring over a large cake shaped as a Snitch. I had almost forgotten it was my birthday. "Make a wish, dear."

I leaned over the cake, wishing that Ron, Hermione, and I would successfully kill Voldemort. Then I blew out the candles and everyone cheered.

I couldn't fall asleep that night. I tried acting brave around Ron and Hermione, but truthfully, I was extremely nervous about breaking into Gringotts.

* * *

Everyone was very quiet at breakfast the next morning. Mrs. Weasley kept refilling our plates with more eggs and bacon and toast.

"This will probably be your last decent breakfast for a little while so eat up," she said.

After breakfast, Hermione and I hugged everyone goodbye, promising not to be gone too long. We left the house and waited in the garden for Ron.

"Put this on," said Hermione, pulling out a plain black robe from her bag. "I stole it from Mrs. Weasley. I hope she won't miss it." I put the robe on while Hermione continued to rummage through her bag. She pulled out two bottle filled with polyjuice potion and the small flask that held the two hairs. She pulled out the long black one and dropped it into one of the bottles. It fizzed and the potions became a gross looking murky black color.

"Here you go," said Hermione.

"Looks yummy," I said. I took a sip and gagged. I forced myself to finish the rest. My stomach felt queasy as my skin bubbled and became paler, my hair became thicker, and I grew about four inches. When the transformation was done, Hermione looked up at me and said tentatively, "Alyssa? You okay?"

"Yeah," I said. My voice was deep and raspy.

"The robe is a little too wide and a bit short, but it'll do," said Hermione.

Ron appeared in the garden just then and looked at me wide eyed. "Wow, Bellatrix is one scary looking lady," he said.

I laughed. Hermione handed Ron the polyjuice potion with Malfoy's hair and Ron made a face as he drank it down. When his transformation was over, Hermione packed back up her bag. The small pouch that Sirius had given me was tied around my waist. Hermione had charmed it so that it would fit the Invisibility Cloak. I had also put the locket it in. I took out the cloak and handed it to Hermione

"Ready?" I said. Ron and Hermione each linked an arm through one of mine in response. I turned on the spot and with a crack we had Apparated into the Leaky Cauldron. Tom, the landlord, was behind the bar.

"Madame Lestrange, Master Malfoy," Tom murmured. Ron was about to give him a friendly greeting, but I nudged him with my elbow, signaling for him to be quiet. We needed to be in character, and Bellatrix and Malfoy were definitely not the sort of people who would greet Tom. I looked at Ron again. Even though I knew it was really Ron, I felt weird being so close to Malfoy after what had happened the last time I saw him. I felt embarrassed almost.

I drew out my wand when we reached the brick wall and tapped the brick that opened the archway to Diagon Alley. We stepped through and I looked around. There weren't many people around, since it was still early.

"We need to hurry," I whispered. "We only have an hour until we change back." Ron and I walked along the sidewalk towards Gringotts. I could feel Hermione's presence behind us. People were careful not to make eye contact with me. Bellatrix had a very intimidating presence, even if people didn't know that she was a Death Eater.

"Draco!" I heard someone squeal from behind us. I turned around and saw Pansy Parkinson running toward us. When she reached us, she said to Ron, "You should have told me you were going to be here today," before kissing him on the mouth. I watched Ron's eyes widen in shock as Pansy shoved her tongue between his lips. It would have been a funny sight, but all I could feel was jealousy. Malfoy and Pansy were still together. I hated that that bothered me.

I cleared my throat and Ron pulled away. "This is my aunt," he said, trying to act nonchalant.

"Nice to meet you," said Pansy. I grunted in return and then looked sharply at Ron and said, "We are in a hurry, Draco. Let's go."

"Catch you later, babe" said Ron to Pansy, and we continued on our way. The feelings of jealousy still hadn't gone away, but now was not the time to concentrate on how I felt towards Malfoy. I had much more important things to deal with.

We arrived at the foot of the marble staircase leading up to Gringotts. We entered through the large bronze doors, my heart pounding in my chest. We reached the vast marble hall and walked toward the long counter behind which sat many goblins. I leaned close to Ron and whispered, "Remember, meet me back at the Leaky Cauldron, but if the polyjuice potion has already worn off, Apparate to the woods where the World Cup was held. Good luck." When we reached the counter, I departed from Ron and Hermione and approached one of the goblins.

"Madame Lestrange, how may I help you today?" said the goblin.

"I wish to enter my vault."

"Follow me then, Madame. I shall take you to your vault," said the goblin, hopping off of his stool. He disappeared for a moment and then appeared around the end of the counter. The goblin walked to one of the many doors leading off the hall and I followed him. We went through the door, and the goblin whistled to summon a little cart that came trundling along the tracks toward us out of the darkness. I got in and with a jerk, the cart was speeding along the track, sloping downward. So far everything was going according to plan.

When we reached the vault, I estimated that I had about forty-five minutes left until the potion wore off. That gave me about half an hour to look, since I needed time to get back to the Leaky Cauldron. It wasn't much time.

The goblin pressed his hand to the door of the vault, and the door melted away to reveal a small room crammed from floor to ceiling with golden coins and goblets, silver armor, and potions in jeweled flasks. I began to sweat as I looked around. There was so much stuff. I would never have time to look through all of it. I wasn't even sure what the Hufflepuff cup looked like, and if it was a different Horcrux, I would never be able to find it in just thirty minutes.

"Are you looking for something in particular, Madame?" asked the goblin.

"A gold cup with the Hufflepuff symbol on it," I said. "I can't seem to remember where I put it."

"Is that it up there?"

I looked up and gasped. I quickly passed off the gasp as a cough and tried to conceal my joy as I looked at the small gold cup, which had a badger engraved on it. It had to be it. I asked the goblin to get it down for me, since it was out of my reach. The goblin pointed its finger at it and the cup zoomed down into the goblin's hand. The goblin handed the cup to me and I put it in the pouch where the locket was also located.

"I'm finished. Let's go," I said, commandingly. I followed the goblin back into the cart and we sped back up the track. When I entered the marble hall, I looked around for Ron. We hadn't planned on meeting in the hall, but there was a slight chance that he and Hermione were here now too. I saw my reflection on the glass wall, and I was relieved to see that I still looked just like Bellatrix. That meant Ron still looked like Malfoy. The room was very crowded now, and as I made my way to the door, I kept my eye out for Malfoy. Relief flooded through me when I saw him in the corner, but he was with Pansy. I was relieved that Ron and Hermione had made it out safely, but why were they wasting time with Pansy?

I hurried over to them and said to Ron, "Come along, Draco."

Ron turned to me, looking very surprised. "I didn't know you were going to be here."

"I know. It's lucky I found you," I said. Without saying anything to Pansy, Ron followed me out of Gringotts, and Hermione, I assumed, was right behind us. The streets of Diagon Alley were very busy, so I would have to wait to tell them that I'd gotten the Horcrux. I couldn't risk anyone overhearing. I was about to reproach Ron for not saying goodbye to Pansy, since that was out of character for Malfoy, but before I could say anything Ron said, "Is anything the matter?"

"No, everything went great," I said. "I'll tell you everything when we're not surrounded by so many people. What about with you two?"

Ron looked at me with a puzzled expression, which I didn't understand, but then he said, "You mean me and Pansy? That's definitely not great. Thanks for getting me away from her. She's always all over me. She's can be so annoying and suffocating." We continued to walk hurriedly down the street. It was really weird having a conversation with Ron when he looked like Malfoy. I looked back at him and said, "Well, you won't have to deal with her anymore."

"How'd you know that I'm going to break up with her? I haven't told anyone yet. It's that obvious, huh?"

I looked at Ron, totally confused. "What do you mean you're going to break up with her?"

Ron looked at me with that puzzled expression again. "I'm going to break up with her. It's pretty simple. Are you sure everything's okay, Aunt Bella?"

"Why are you calling me Aunt Bella?" I said, laughing.

Ron stopped walking. "That's what I always call you."

"What's wrong with you-" I stopped talking immediately. I suddenly realized with a jolt that this wasn't Ron; it was actually Malfoy! I had to get myself away from Malfoy and fast, but I had to convince him that I was Bellatrix.

"Er, I'm sorry, Draco. I'm all out of sorts today," I said quickly.

"What's that on your forehead?" said Malfoy, scrutinizing my face. I quickly clamped a hand to my forehead. With my other hand I picked up a strand of hair. It was thinner and straighter than Bellatrix's hair and my skin color looked a bit tanner than it had a few minutes ago. I was turning back into myself! Without thinking, I turned on the spot to Apparate. That last thing I saw was Malfoy's face, his mouth opening in horror as comprehension dawned in his eyes.

**AN: Thanks for all the reviews!**


	11. Weight of the World

I looked around the forest where I had just Apparated. I wished I had my Invisibility Cloak, but I assured myself that the only people that would be in this forest were Ron and Hermione, and there was no possible way that Malfoy could have followed me.

I walked through the trees, straining my ears for any sounds that might be coming from Ron and Hermione. I pulled out my wand and shot red sparks into the air. I heard a muffled shriek and soon hurried footsteps. I held my breath while the footsteps got closer, and when I saw through the trees that it was Ron and Hermione, I let out a long sigh of relief.

"Alyssa, there you are! Thank god we found you," said Hermione. "How long have you been here?"

"Just a few minutes."

"Us too," said Hermione. "We couldn't find a Horcrux."

"I found one," I said, reaching into my pouch.

"Really?" said Hermione, eagerly, as Ron let out an excited whoop.

"Here it is," I said, holding out the golden cup.

"I don't want to touch it," said Hermione, backing away.

"Me neither," I said, shuddering inwardly at what the cup contained. I put the cup back into the pouch. "Now we only have one more Horcrux left to find if Dumbledore was right about the snake, which I think he was."

"But we still don't know how to destroy them," said Hermione.

"Come on, Hermione. We don't need to think about that today," said Ron. "We should be celebrating."

"Well, before we celebrate, I have some bad news," I said. "I was seen."

"By who?" gasped Hermione.

"Malfoy," I said. "I thought he was Ron, and when I realized that it was actually Malfoy, it was too late. I had already started transforming back into myself, and he knew it was me. God, how could I have been so stupid?"

"Don't worry about it," said Ron.

"We have to be really careful now," said Hermione. "Malfoy's going to tell his parents, and they'll tell the ministry that you were impersonating Bellatrix Lestrange. The ministry will be after you. It's the perfect excuse for You-Know-Who to capture you. I figured that once school started and Snape told You-Know-Who that you weren't there, You-Know-Who would send the Ministry after you under the excuse that you were breaking the rules, since going to Hogwarts is now mandatory, but now You-Know-Who has a perfect excuse to get to you discreetly before school even starts."

"But Malfoy has no proof!" said Ron.

"Like that matters?" said Hermione. "The Malfoys are Death Eaters. They basically control the Ministry."

"Maybe Malfoy won't tell anyone," I said quietly.

"Yeah, like that'd happen," said Ron. "You and he are like sworn enemies, remember?"

"Yeah," I mumbled. In my heart I wanted to believe that Malfoy wouldn't tell, but who was I trying to kid?

* * *

We set up the tent and Hermione put up protective enchantments around it. We decided that someone should keep watch outside the tent during the night, and I offered to do the first shift.

I sat outside the tent while Ron and Hermione slept. I thought back to my earlier encounter with Malfoy. One good thing had come of it: I now knew that Malfoy was going to break up with Pansy and this made me inexplicably happy. I wondered if he was breaking up with her because of me, but that was a stupid thought. Malfoy didn't like me, and I didn't like him. But why couldn't I stop thinking about him?

My scar began to prickle. I rubbed it with my fingers, frowning. It had been a while since my scar had hurt. I wondered if that meant Voldemort was nearby. I looked around, but there was no sign of any disturbances. I closed my eyes and tried to think of something to distract me from the pain in my scar, which was escalating quickly. The first thing that came to mind was how to destroy the Horcruxes. Why hadn't Dumbledore told me earlier on? There were so many things that he hadn't had time to tell me. Had he thought there would be time; that he would live for many more years? If so, he had been wrong… Snape had seen to that… Snape, that evil coward who murdered Dumbledore… who had gotten my parents killed…

"_Give it to me, Gregorovitch."_

My voice was high, clear, and cold. The man at whom I was pointing my wand was suspended upside down in midair, his face terrified.

"I have it not, I have it no more! It was, many years ago, stolen from me!"

"Do not lie to Lord Voldemort, Gregorovitch. He knows… He always knows."

The hanging man's pupils were wide, dilated with fear, and they seemed to swell, bigger and bigger until their blackness swallowed me whole-

And now I was hurrying along a dark corridor in Gregorovitch's wake. Gregorovitch burst into the room at the end of the passage. Perched on the window ledge was a young man. I saw the delight on the young man's face. Then the intruder shot a Stunning Spell from his wand and jumped out of the window with a crow of laughter.

And I was hurtling back out of those wide, tunnellike pupils and Gregorovitch's face was stricken with terror.

"_Who was the thief?"_

"_I do not know, I never knew, a young man- no- please- PLEASE!"_

A scream that went on and on and then a burst of green light-

"Alyssa!"

I opened my eyes, my forehead throbbing. I looked up at Hermione.

"I just saw into Voldemort's mind," I panted.

"What did you see?" asked Ron, whose face was looming above Hermione's.

"He was talking to this man named Gregorovitch-"

"The wandmaker?" interrupted Hermione.

"I don't know. Maybe."

"Let Alyssa talk," said Ron. "Go on."

"Voldemort was looking for something, and Gregorovitch said he didn't have it, and then Voldemort read his mind and saw that someone had stolen whatever it is that Voldemort's looking for from Gregorovitch. And then he- he killed him."

"Could you see what the thief was holding?" asked Ron.

"No… it must've been something small."

"Maybe that's why Voldemort isn't showing himself," said Ron. "He's too busy looking for this thing."

"Alyssa, aren't you not supposed to be having these visions anymore?" said Hermione. "Isn't that what your Occlumency lessons with Snape were for?"

"Don't remind me about those," I muttered.

"I just think that you should try blocking these visions out," said Hermione. "That's what Dumbledore wanted."

"But they can help us!" I said. "We have a much greater advantage in defeating Voldemort if we know what he's up to. And I want to find out what it is that he's after. Hermione, did you say there's a wandmaker named Gregorovitch? It was probably him. I mean, how common a name is that? Maybe the stolen object is a wand."

"Why would You-Know-Who need a wand?" said Ron. "He already has one- unless something happened to it."

"Or maybe he wants a new wand because he wants to get rid of the one he has now, since it has that special connection with my wand."

"But if it was a wand that the thief stole, what's so special about this wand in particular?"

"I don't know," I said. I looked at Hermione. "You have any ideas?" I asked her.

"Well, there have been stories of an extra powerful wand for hundreds of years called the Elder Wand. Stories have cropped up about it through the centuries. It's usually in possession of some Dark wizard who's boasting about it. Professor Binns mentioned it. It's said that the possessor of the wand must capture it from its previous owner, if he is to be truly master of it. The bloody trail of the Elder Wand is splattered across the pages of Wizarding history- but it really is all nonsense. Wands are only as powerful as the wizards who use them. Some people just like to boast that theirs are bigger and better than other people's."

"But the Elder Wand could really exist," I said.

"Don't be ridiculous, Alyssa," said Hermione. "I think I should take over watching the tent. You don't look so good."

"Fine," I said. I followed Ron back into the tent. As I lied awake, trying to fall asleep, all I could think about was the Elder Wand.

* * *

The next morning, we discussed what we were going to do next. Hermione felt that it was best not to stay anywhere too long, and Ron agreed. Hermione therefore removed the enchantments she had placed around the clearing, while Ron and I obliterated all the marks and impressions on the ground that might show we had camped there. Then we Disapparated to the outskirts of a small market town.

We would stay in each place for a few days at a time and then Disapparate somewhere else. We spent fruitless hours trying to decide where we might find other Horcruxes, and how to destroy the two we had already got, our conversations becoming increasingly repetitive as we had no new information.

"I think there might by a Horcrux at Hogwarts," I said for what felt like the millionth time.

"Alyssa, we've been over this," said Hermione. "Dumbledore would have found it."

I repeated the argument I kept bringing out in favor of this theory.

"Dumbledore said in front of me that he never assumed he knew all of Hogwarts's secrets. I'm telling you, if there was one place that was really important to Voldemort, it was Hogwarts!"

"So what are you saying?" said Ron. "We should go back to Hogwarts so we can look for a Horcrux? My mom will be thrilled to hear that."

"We wouldn't go back to school," I said. "We would sneak in and look for a Horcrux."

"Do you know how hard it'll be for us to go unnoticed?" said Ron.

"Yeah, but what if we go before school starts?" I said. "The Hogwarts Express doesn't leave for another three days."

"This is ridiculous," said Hermione. "The teachers will be there, including Snape. Imagine if Snape finds you, Alyssa. He'll be able to capture you and bring you to You-Know-Who without any of the other teachers finding out. And if by some miracle, we're not seen, we still have no idea where You-Know-Who would have hidden the Horcrux, and Hogwarts is huge! We'll never be able to search the whole castle in just three days."

"You thought breaking into Gringotts was ridiculous, yet it worked, didn't it?" I said.

"We were extremely lucky," said Hermione.

"Maybe we'll get lucky again!" I said.

"Look, Alyssa, I think we should concentrate on figuring out how to destroy the Horcruxes first before we look for any more."

"Fine, have it your way," I said, giving up.

* * *

Five days later, we had set up our tent on the edge of a farmer's field. Night was beginning to fall and it was my turn to do the first watch shift, so I sat outside the tent, staring out at the farmer's small house in the distance. A man came out of the house and I stiffened. Hermione had cast all the protective enchantments, but I still felt nervous seeing another person so close.

The man sat down in a chair on his porch and pulled something out of his pocket and lifted it up. It was a wand. What were the chances that we'd end up at a wizard's home? The man used his wand to turn on more light on the porch, and then he pulled out a newspaper, which I assumed was the Daily Prophet, and he began to read. About an hour later, the man set down the paper, turned off the lights with his wand, and went back inside.

I had the sudden urge to steal that paper. It had been so long since we'd heard anything of the wizarding world, and I was dying to know what was going on. Making up my mind, I pulled the Invisibility Cloak out of my pouch and threw it over myself. As quickly as I could, I ran across the field to the porch, grabbed the paper off the chair, and ran back.

When I was safely back within the protection of Hermione's enchantments, I looked at the front page of the paper and gasped.

A huge photograph of my own face filled the front page. I read the headline over it: WANTED FOR QUESTIONING ABOUT THE DEATH OF ALBUS DUMBLEDORE.

Anger boiled inside me. Hermione had been right about Voldemort wanting to catch me, but I never thought I'd be accused of having a hand in Dumbledore's death. I began to read the short article under the picture.

_Madame Rosmerta, owner of the Three Broomsticks, proclaims that she saw, through her window, Alyssa Potter with Albus Dumbledore on High Street the night Dumbledore died. That was the last anyone saw of Dumbledore before he was discovered dead in his office. _

_Alyssa Potter, who is supposed to be in her sixth year at Hogwarts, did not return to the school with her fellow students. No one has heard of her whereabouts since the end school last year. Potter, who is most likely on the run from the Ministry, is the prime suspect concerning Dumbledore's death. There is a ten thousand gallon reward for anyone who is able to bring her to the Ministry for questioning._

I put the paper down and looked inside the tent to see if Ron and Hermione were still awake. They were, so I entered the tent and showed them the paper.

"Where'd you get this from?" asked Ron.

"Doesn't matter. Just read it," I said.

Ron and Hermione gave cries of outrage when they saw the headline.

"I'm sorry, Alyssa," said Hermione, when she had finished reading the article.

"At least it doesn't mention that I impersonated Bellatrix. Then there'd be some truth to the article."

"That's old news already," said Ron.

"Or maybe Malfoy never told," I said. Ron just shrugged.

* * *

A couple weeks passed, and still we had made no progress. I could sense that Ron and Hermione were starting to doubt my leadership. I just needed some guidance. If only I could somehow talk to Dumbledore. Even speaking to his portrait would be reassuring.

I almost jumped up when a sudden realization came to me. I recalled the portrait of Phineas Negillus that was hanging in my bedroom at Grimmauld place. He also had a portrait in the Headmaster's office at Hogwarts. Maybe he could bring me Dumbledore's portrait.

I told Ron and Hermione my idea, but they didn't look nearly as excited as I felt.

"You want us to go to Grimmauld Place?" said Hermione, skeptically.

"I could go by myself," I said. "We can't all fit under the Invisibility Cloak anyways. It'll just be a quick visit. I'll let Sirius know that we're all fine, and he can tell me how everything's going with the Order."

"Yeah, I think you should go," said Ron. I knew that Ron was very eager to hear any news concerning his family.

"Maybe I should go," said Hermione. "You have a ten galleon prize on your head, remember?"

"I'll be fine," I said.

"I know you want to see Sirius," said Hermione, "but it's not worth putting yourself in jeopardy. If you get caught, it's all over. If I get caught, you and Ron can still defeat You-Know-Who."

"No, I'll go," said Ron.

"We can go together," said Hermione. "The both of us can still fit under the Invisibility Cloak."

"All right," said Ron.

"So I'm just supposed to sit here and wait until you two get back?" I said.

"Yes," said Hermione sternly. "Come on, Ron."

Hermione and Ron disappeared under the Invisibility Cloak and with a _crack_ they were gone. I sat, anxiously awaiting their return. They were back in two hours.

"How'd it go?" I asked.

"My family is fine," said Ron, "and Sirius is doing well. He sends his regards."

"What about the Order?"

"They're having some trouble," said Hermione, "but Sirius didn't really go into it."

Hermione pulled the portrait of Phineas out of her bag. Keeping her wand directed at its center, she said, "Er- Phineas, Phineas Nigellus?"

Nothing happened.

"Phineas Nigellus?" said Hermione again. "Professor Black? Please could we talk to you? Please?"

"Please always helps," said a cold, snide voice, and Phineas Nigellus slid into his portrait. At once, Hermione cried: "Obscuro!"

A blindfold appeared over Phineas's eyes.

"What- how dare- what are you-?"

"I'm very sorry, Professor Black," said Hermione, "but it's a necessary precaution!"

"Remove this foul addition at once! Where am I?"

"Never mind where we are," I said, and Phineas froze.

"Can that possibly be the voice of the elusive Miss Potter?"

"Maybe," I said. "Can you bring us Dumbledore?"

Phineas turned his face in the direction of my voice. "The portraits of Hogwarts may commune with each other," he said, "but they cannot travel outside the castle except to visit a painting of themselves hanging elsewhere. Dumbledore cannot come here with me, and after the treatment I have received at your hands, I can assure you that I shall not be making a return visit!"

Crestfallen, I watched as Phineas attempted to leave his frame. Suddenly, I had another idea.

"Professor Black," I said. "Could you please tell us just one thing. Did you ever see Professor Dumbledore destroy a ring last year?"

"I believe I did," replied Phineas. My heart pace quickened as my excitement grew.

"Did you see how he destroyed it?" I asked, crossing my fingers.

"He broke the ring open with the sword of Gryffindor."

I whipped around to look at Ron and Hermione. Neither of them dared to say more in front of Phineas Nigellus, who had at last managed to locate the exit. When he vanished, Hermione cried, "Alyssa!"

"I know! The sword can destroy Horcruxes!"

"It must be made of goblin armor," said Hermione. "Goblin-made blades imbibe only that which strengthen them- Alyssa, that sword's impregnated with basilisk venom! I don't know why I didn't think of it before!"

"But the sword is in Snape's office," I said. "How are we going to get to it?"

"It could have been removed," said Ron. "Maybe Dumbledore took it out and hid it somewhere only we would go!"

"It's possible," I said. "We could try asking Phineas."

Hermione pulled out the portrait again and called out to Phineas. Finally, he returned.

"What is it this time?" he said, angrily, when Hermione had put the blindfold back on.

"Can you tell us if the sword of Gryffindor is still in the Headmaster's office, please?" I asked as nicely as I could.

"Only if you tell me where you are," said Phineas.

"That's not going to happen," I said.

"Well, good day then," said Phineas, and he was gone.

"He must have told Snape that he talked to us, and now Snape is trying to get him to find out where we are!" I said.

"That's doesn't really matter," said Ron. "Our problem is, how are we going to get the sword?"

* * *

A few more uneventful weeks passed. The excitement at discovering that the sword destroyed Horcruxes was long gone. Now it was just one more thing added to the long list of items we needed to find.

I could not help feeling angry at Dumbledore. He had left me virtually nothing. Hopelessness threatened to engulf me. I kept trying to think of places where Voldemort might have hid a Horcrux, but the one place that kept drifting into my mind had nothing to do with Horcruxes: Godric's Hollow. It was the place where I had had a family. It was where I would have grown up. As my feelings of hopelessness increased, the more I wanted to go there. I just had this feeling that in Godric's Hollow I would be able to discover something about myself and the life I once had.

After an unusually good dinner, I decided to bring up the subject of Godric's Hollow. I cleared my throat and said, "I've been thinking. I- I want to go to Godric's Hollow."

"I've been wondering that too," said Hermione. "I really think we'll have to."

"Why?" said Ron, looking confused. I felt just as puzzled as him.

"If Dumbledore did take the sword out of his office and hid it somewhere before he died, I think he would have hid it in Godric's Hollow. Godric's Hollow was Godric Gryffindor's birthplace after all, and Dumbledore would have known that Alyssa would want to visit there."

"That's just what I was thinking," I lied.

"We'll have to think it through carefully," said Hermione. "I think we should use polyjuice potion. You-Know-Who is probably expecting you to return to Godric's Hollow."

A week later, we had managed to obtain hairs from innocent Muggles who were Christmas shopping. In the late afternoon, Ron, Hermione, and I swallowed the polyjuice potion, turning into three middle-aged Muggles and then we Apparated to Godric's Hollow.

Heart beating in my throat, I opened my eyes. We were standing in a snowy lane under the dark sky. Cottages stood on either side of the narrow road. This street looked so familiar, but it was not possible that I would remember living here.

As we walked along the road, I looked at all the cottages. Anyone of these could have been mine. We reached a small village and headed towards the church, behind which was a cemetery, where I knew my parents must lie. Hermione pushed open the gate to the graveyard and we edged through it. I walked through the many tombstones, looking out for my parents' names. I could hear Ron and Hermione close behind me. Finally, I saw it.

The headstone was made of white marble, just like Dumbledore's tomb. I stared at my parents names engraved on it for a while, feeling as if something heavy were pressing on my chest. Tears came before I could stop them. Hermione gripped my hand, as I took deep breaths, trying to steady myself.

"Let's go," I said after a while.

We left the graveyard in silence and walked back the way we came. I kept my eyes toward the ground and kept walking without thinking where I was headed. I heard Ron and Hermione stop walking and I looked up. We had reached the end of the lane.

"Look, Alyssa," said Ron.

I looked where Ron was pointing and saw what must have been my parent's house. The hedge had grown wild. Only half of the cottage was still standing. I reached out and touched the gate.

"You're not going to go inside?" said Hermione. "It looks unsafe."

"If Dumbledore hid the sword in Godric's Hollow, it would be in this house," I said. "I'll only be a minute."

I opened the gate and walked up to the front door, which had been blasted open. Taking a deep breath I walked inside. It was weird being in the house that should have been my home, but it did not resemble a home. Practically everything was in ruins. I picked through all the rubble on the half of the first floor that was still standing, but the sword was not there. It would be impossible to look on the other side of the house, since it had completely collapsed. Dumbledore wouldn't have hidden it there.

Luckily the staircase was undamaged, so I went up to the second floor. I looked in every nook and cranny for the sword, but there were no signs of it. There was a door that had been blasted aside that belonged to a room which led to the collapsed part of the house. I went through the opening where the door used to be and entered the room. Only part of the room was still intact. The other part had a large hole where the floor had caved in.

I entered the room. What looked like parts of a bed were strewn across the floor. This must have been my parent's bedroom. There was only one piece of furniture that was still in somewhat good shape, and that was a chest of drawers. I eagerly opened each drawer, hoping to find the sword, but to no avail. There was only one drawer left to try. I closed my eyes, hoping desperately that the sword lay in the last drawer before I pulled it open.

The sword was not there, but something else was. I hadn't even seen it at first, since it was totally covered by grime. It was a thin notebook shoved all the way in the back. I pulled it out and brushed off the dust. The notebook felt very fragile. I carefully opened the front cover and gasped when I saw the words written on the inside of the front cover:

_This diary belongs to Lily Evans_

**AN: Thanks for reviewing!**


	12. October

**AN: So you know how I said that the plot was soon going to deviate from the canon? The time has finally come. :)**

I quickly stored the diary into the pouch, my hands trembling. I exited the house and when I saw Ron and Hermione standing outside, I just shook my head, letting them know that the sword wasn't there.

"This sucks," said Ron.

"I knew it wasn't going to be here," said Hermione. "It must still be in Dumbledore's office. Oh, what are we going to do?"

Ron and Hermione both looked deeply crestfallen, but at this moment, I could not care less that we hadn't found the sword, for I had found something much more valuable. I didn't want to share with Ron and Hermione that I had found my mother's diary. It was too personal, but I could barely contain my excitement at finding it.

Ron and I took hold of Hermione's hands and we Disapparated.

"Where are we?" I asked Hermione, as she pulled the tent poles out of her bag.

"The Forest of Dean," she said. "I came camping here once with my parents. We're very far up north."

"You can say that again. It's freezing here!" said Ron, rubbing his hands up and down his arms. Once the tent was built, we all put on more layers. It was so cold that I put on leggings underneath my jeans. Just as I was pulling another sweatshirt over my head, I felt a sharp pain in my scar. Hermione noticed me wince and she looked at me suspiciously.

"What?" I said. "I can't control when my scar hurts."

We sat down at the table to eat some of the canned food. As we ate, my scar continued to burn. I thought I might fall out of my chair, the pain was so great. Fragmented visions were breaking across the surface of my mind-

_I was gliding around the high walls of the black fortress-_

Ron and Hermione were staring at me-

_looking up, up to the topmost window, the highest tower-_

"Alyssa, are you okay?" I heard Ron say.

_and I rose into the night, flying straight up to the window at the very top of the tower._

_The window was the merest slit in the black rock… A skeletal figure was just visible through it… I forced myself through the slit of a window like a snake and landed, lightly as vapor, inside the cell-like room… The emaciated figure stirred, eyes opening in a skull of a face… The frail man sat up, great sunken eyes fixed upon me, upon Voldemort, and then he smiled…_

"_So, you have come. I thought you would… one day. But your journey was pointless. I never had it."_

"_You lie!"_

"_Kill me, then, Voldemort, I welcome death! But my death will not bring you what you seek… You will not win, you cannot win! That wand will never, ever be yours-"_

_A flash of green light filled the prison room-_

"Alyssa! Alyssa!"

I opened my eyes. I was lying on the floor. Hermione was shaking me, and Ron was sitting beside her.

"I'm fine," I managed to say.

"Did you have another vision of You-Know-Who?" asked Ron.

"Yeah," I said, sitting up. "I was right. It's a wand that he's after. It must be the Elder Wand."

"I'm going to go do my watch now," said Hermione, standing up.

"I'll do it for you," I said. "I owe you one."

"Are you sure you can handle doing two shifts after what's just happened."

"Yeah," I said. "It won't happen again tonight. I promise."

"All right," said Hermione.

I moved an old cushion into the tent mouth and sat down. I reached into my pouch and pulled out my mother's diary. Ever since we had returned from Godric's Hollow, I had been dying to read it. It was a very thin notebook, so I knew I would definitely be able to read it all tonight.

I opened the diary and turned to the first page, my fingers trembling with excitement. The first journal entry was written in a young girl's handwriting.

_August 31, 1984_

_It was my eleventh birthday today! Grandma Rose gave me this diary, and she made me promise to write down everything that happens to me while I am away so that I won't miss out on any details when I tell her about my year. I will try to write as much as I can, but there are many things I won't be able to tell Grandma because she does not know that I am a witch. Only Mum, Dad, and Tuney know that._

_I leave for Hogwarts tomorrow. I'm very excited, but I'm also very nervous. I've never been away from home before, and the only other magical person that I've ever met is Sev. Sev keeps telling me that I'm going to love Hogwarts, and he even once said that wizards and witches are much better than Muggles, which is the word he uses to describe people like my parents. I didn't like it when he said that, but he apologized for a week, so I forgave him. He always gets so upset when he hurts my feelings. _

_Sev has told me so much about Hogwarts. There are four Houses that we're sorted into when we get there. Sev says that the both of us will be in Slytherin. I don't really care which house I'm in as long as I am with Sev._

I wondered who Sev was. It couldn't possibly be short for Severus. My mother would never be friends with someone like Snape. But then again, this Sev person didn't like Muggles, and he wanted to be in Slytherin. I turned the page to the next entry. I figured I would find out who Sev was soon enough.

_September 2, 1984_

_I'm in Gryffindor! There are a lot of really nice people in my House, like Sally Jones and Nancy Rivers, but there are also some not so nice people, like James Potter and Sirius Black. They were mean to Sev on the train. Sev is in Slytherin just like he wanted. I could tell he was upset that I wasn't chosen for Slytherin, and I'm sad too that we're not together, but I know that we'll stay best friends._

_I had some of my classes today. Sev is in my Defense Against the Dark Arts class and Potions class. Sev and I both loved Defense Against the Dark Arts, but I didn't like Potions that much. Sev, on the other hand, really liked Potions. He's the best in the class! _

I was now almost positive that Sev was Snape. I couldn't believe that my mum and Snape had been best friends. I knew that Snape hated my dad, but judging by the way that he treated me during my five years at Hogwarts, I just assumed that he disliked my mum too. Their friendship must not have lasted too long, which I was not the least bit upset about.

It also surprised me to find out that my mum didn't like my dad at first. I'd always imagined them falling in love at first sight.

I continued to read the diary entries from my mum's first, second, and third years. They were mostly about her classes and friends. Snape was mentioned often, indicating that they were still close. She never mentioned James. The last entry from her third year was dated March 19, 1986. She didn't write another entry until almost a year later.

_February 14, 1987_

_This was the best Valentine's Day of my entire life! There was a trip to Hogsmeade today, and Sev asked me to go with him. We were sitting outside on a bench, and there was no one around, since everyone was inside the Three Broomsticks because of the cold weather. All of a sudden, Sev leaned over and kissed me!_

_I've had a crush on him this whole year, but I never thought he felt the same way about me. I was scared that if I told him that I liked him, it would ruin our friendship, and our friendship means everything to me. I don't know what I would do if I lost Sev as a friend._

_The only problem is that all my other friends make fun of me for being friends with Sev, since he is in Slytherin. I can't imagine what people would say if they knew we were dating now. I know that his friends would react the same way. I guess we'll have to keep our relationship a secret. _

I put the diary down, shocked. My mum dated _Snape_? How could she have had such bad judgment? I knew she was only fourteen, but still! Then again, I thought what about me and Malfoy? As much as I tried to deny it to myself, I liked him. And I'm two years older than my mother was, so how could I blame her? She would come to her senses eventually and fall in love with James, and that's all that mattered. And the sooner the better. But maybe Sev wasn't Snape after all. I mean, I had no proof.

I picked up the diary again and continued to read, crossing my fingers that I would discover that Sev was not Snape.

_June 1, 1987_

_Thank goodness it's summer. Sev and I are finally free. I didn't know how much more I could take of flirting in whispers or kissing in dark corners_

_Tuney was disgusted when I told her that Sev and I are dating. She couldn't understand how I could date a boy who came from Spinner's End. She's always telling me how the Snape family has a very disreputable reputation, but I don't care about any of that stuff. I love Sev, and that's all that matters._

I groaned. So it was Snape. Seeing his name written in my mother's handwriting sent hatred coursing through my veins. If only my mother had known that in just seven years Snape would send Voldemort after her and her family. At least Aunt Petunia had some sense. I turned the page to the next entry.

_October 25, 1987_

_I am no longer a virgin._

I gasped and closed my eyes. Please, _please_ let it be that my mum broke up with Snape and got together with James. I summoned the courage to open my eyes, and I look down at the page.

_It was so wonderful. It barely even hurt at all. I feel so much closer to Sev now, which I didn't even think was possible._

No! This could not be true. Not only did Snape kill Dumbledore and send Voldemort after my family, he also stole my mother's virginity! I hadn't thought it possible that I could hate Snape more than I already did, but my hatred now seemed to have increased tenfold. I couldn't bear to read the rest of that diary entry. Reading about my mum and Snape sleeping together was the last thing I wanted to do. I skipped to the next entry, scared of what I would find out this time.

_January 4, 1988_

_My friend's are becoming suspicious of my relationship with Sev. I hate lying to them about it. Nancy and Sally say that I should just stop being friends with him. All the Gryffindors hate Sev and his group of friends, especially James and Sirius. I can't fully blame them, though, since Sev and his friends play cruel jokes on people and they call themselves Death Eaters. Everyone says that they're going to join You-Know-Who when they leave Hogwarts, but I don't believe Sev would ever do that. I know him._

_I've tried talking to Sev about not hiding our relationship anymore. He doesn't mind lying to his friends like I do. He doesn't see the problem with keeping our relationship hidden. He thinks everything is fine, but I'm tired of it. I can't stand always having to watch my back whenever we're together. I don't care about what people would say about us if they knew we loved each other, but obviously he does._

_March 9, 1988_

_I broke up with Sev. It's so hard writing this down. I can't even think about it without breaking down sobbing. I'll be lucky if this entry doesn't get completely smeared by tears. _

_It's just so hard to believe that Sev isn't part of my life anymore. It's surreal. I keep thinking that I'll wake up tomorrow and everything will be back to the way it was last summer. But things can never be like that again. It's too complicated. Sev has chosen his way and I have chosen mine. I just hope that I made the right choice._

I wanted to cry out for joy. Finally my mum was rid of Snape. It would only be a matter of time until she fell in love with James and completely forgot about Snape.

The next diary entry was written a whole year later.

_March 12, 1989_

_James and I have been dating for a few weeks now. He's nothing like Sev, but he's funny, bright, and an excellent Quidditch player. My friends are all so jealous. _

_When James and I were cuddling under a tree by the lake today, I saw that Sev was sitting with his friends nearby. I always try to avoid him when I'm with James, but I guess I just didn't see him when I sat down. I saw his face, and he looked so angry and hurt. I thought he might just run over to us and attack James. I suppose I was kind of hoping that he would do that just so I would know that he still loved me. I know it's selfish of me to date James yet at the same time want Sev to love me, but I can't help it._

_Sev and I haven't talked since we broke up. I miss our conversations and laughs so badly. Whenever we're in class together, he doesn't even look at me. He's probably already forgotten me. I can only hope that one day I'll be able to forget him too._

I couldn't believe that my mum could be such a smart woman, but at the same time, have no perception. Couldn't she tell that Snape never loved her? That he was going to turn out to be a horrible person? How could she have been so blind? I sighed, turning the page to read on.

_August 15, 1992_

_It's been so long since I've written in this diary. It seems like a childish thing to do, but I feel so alone. James has been gone for a couple of weeks on Order business. He wrote a few days ago saying that he won't be back for another two whole months. That seems like an eternity. I wanted to go with him, but he didn't want me to come along. I know that he just wants to make sure that I'm safe, but I can't help feeling resentful. I'm in the Order too._

_It's unfortunate that James had to go away so soon after our marriage. We've only had four months together as a married couple. The wedding that my parents made for me was beautiful. James was a little upset when I told him that I wanted to have a Muggle wedding, but he understood that I wanted my whole family to be there. I know that I made the right choice in marrying James._

Finally, a diary entry that didn't mention Snape. It seemed like my mum forgot about him just as she had hoped, and just as I had hoped. I eagerly turned the page, hoping to learn more about my dad.

_September 1, 1992_

_I did the most horrific thing last night. I can't even look at myself in the mirror. I hate who I have become. I can't tell anyone what I did, but I have to get it off of my chest, so I am going to write it down here._

_Severus came by last night. You can't imagine my shock. I hadn't seen him for two years, and he looked even more handsome than I'd remembered. I asked him what he was doing at my home and he said to wish me happy birthday. I broke down sobbing and he was crying too. He told me how he never stopped loving me and how he thought about me every day. We made love on practically every surface in the house. It was the best sex I've ever had. As we were laying together, arm in arm and completely out of breath, Severus asked me to run away with him. I said no, and Severus left abruptly. I knew he was very angry, but I chose James three years earlier and nothing can make me change my mind._

_I cried for hours after Severus left. I couldn't believe what I had just done. My husband is off fighting You-Know-Who, and here I was, making love to a Death Eater! Deep down in my heart, I know I still love Severus, but I love James and I will stay with him forever._

I couldn't believe this. This couldn't be true. My head was spinning. I thought I might be sick. Everything inside me was falling apart. I felt like I had just somehow lost my beloved mother. Lily Evans, the woman who I always thought was perfect, was an adulteress. How could she have cheated on my father with Snape? Couldn't she see that Snape was just manipulating her in order to cause James pain?

It was all Snape's fault! Everything was always Snape's fault, but I couldn't ignore the fact that my mother was also to blame. My mum betrayed my father, but she betrayed me as well. I would never be able to think of her in the same light again.

I didn't want to keep reading, but I had to. Taking a deep breath, I turned the page.

_September 15, 1992_

_I'm pregnant._

**AN: Please review! It makes me write faster and I really like hearing what you guys have to say! **


	13. Going Under

_September 15, 1992_

_I'm pregnant. My period is almost two weeks late, and I am never late. I did all of the magical tests to see if I am pregnant, and they all came out positive. Oh god, what am I going to do? _

_I never planned on telling James about that night with Severus, but now I will have to because I am keeping this baby. He is going to divorce me; I know he will. I cheated on him with his greatest enemy from school. He'll never be able to forgive me. _

For one insane moment, I thought that Snape was my father. But all the panic left me as quickly as it had come once I reread the date my mother and Snape had sex: August 31. My mother would have to have been eleven months pregnant with me for Snape to be my father, since my birthday was July 31, and that was not possible. It must have been a false alarm. Relief flooded through me.

I looked down at the next entry.

_October 17, 1992_

_I told James everything. I started out by telling him that while he was away, I had an affair, but it was only one night, and I apologized profusely. He was extremely upset, but he wasn't nearly as angry as I thought he would be. He took my hand and said that we would work it out. I think he somehow thought it was his fault, since he deserted me for so long._

_I should have left it at that, but I had to tell him the whole truth. When I told James that the man I had the affair with was Snape, his face became so white, I thought he might faint. Then he just stood up and left the house, slamming the door behind him. I haven't stopped crying since he left. I don't think he's coming back._

_October 20, 1992_

_James came back home yesterday. He said that he didn't think he would ever be able to forgive me, but he stilled loved me and he wanted to make our marriage work. I told him that he would probably change his mind about that once I finished telling him everything. "It gets worse?" he had said, and I laughed nervously. I told him he had better sit down, but he interrupted me, saying, "Let me guess. You're pregnant." I nodded, tears falling out of my eyes._

_We sat in silence for a very long time. Finally, James spoke. He said that he stood by what he said before about making our marriage last. He said we would raise this child as our own, and he made me swear that I would never see Snape again or tell him about the child. I pointed out that Snape would realize the child was his if he ever find out when it was born, and even if he didn't find out, others would know the child's birth date, and some might realize that James was away nine months earlier._

_James and I therefore came up with a plan. When I am eight months pregnant, I will go stay with my parents, and James will go away again on Order business. I'll have the baby in a Muggle hospital, and I will stay with my parents for two months after the baby is born. That way, when I return with a baby, everyone will think that I had I recently, and that it's just a very, very large infant. Hopefully, it'll work._

My whole body was trembling uncontrollably, even though I kept telling myself that it was a false alarm. Lily couldn't really be pregnant, unless she had a miscarriage. I knew for a fact that James was my father. I had his hair. _Snape has black hair too_. I quickly pushed that thought out of my mind. I'm an excellent Seeker, just like James was, I thought to myself. That was solid proof that James was my father. Things like that aren't just coincidences.

I wanted to stop reading this horrible diary. All it had brought was pain and confusion. But there was only one diary entry left and it was extremely short. I knew that this entry would answer the question of who my father was, but I wasn't sure I wanted to find out. What if Snape was my father? I didn't think I'd be able to live knowing that I had part of Snape inside of me. Taking a deep, shaky breath, I looked down at the last entry. I needed to know.

_May 31, 1993_

_It's a baby girl! She's beautiful. We've named her Alyssa Rose._

If I had thought I was shaking before, it was nothing compared to what my body was doing now. Everything around me was a dizzy blur. Silent tears were streaming down my face.

Snape was my father.

I thought I might faint, but I vomited instead. I felt contaminated in my own skin. The blood of a cold-hearted killer ran through my veins.

My whole life, the only thing I'd ever truly desired was to have living parents, just like the Mirror of Erised had shown. But now I wished beyond anything that James was my father, even though he was dead. Life could be so ironic.

I brushed tears out of my eyes and looked up at the night sky. It was so empty and dark, just like everything inside of me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a bright silver light moving through the trees. I picked up my wand from the ground and jumped up. I didn't feel any fear. I was glad of anything that could momentarily distract me from my own thoughts, even if it was Death Eaters.

The source of light stepped out from behind an oak. It was my Patronus, a silver-white doe. Perhaps in my daze, I had cast my Patronus, but then I realized that my wand had been on the ground the whole time. This was someone else's Patronus.

The doe stepped toward me, and we gazed at each other for several long moments and then she turned and walked away.

"No." I said, and my voice cracked with lack of use. "Come back!"

She continued to step deliberately through the trees, and soon her brightness was striped by their thick black trunks. Without thinking, I set off in pursuit. Deeper and deeper into the forest she led me.

At last, she came to a halt. She turned her beautiful head toward me once more, and I broke into a run, but before I could reach her, she vanished, and I was engulfed in darkness.

"Lumos!" I whispered.

Was I about to be attacked? Was I imagining that somebody stood beyond the reach of the wandlight, watching me?

Something gleamed in the light of the wand, and I spun about, but all that was there was a small, frozen pool. I raised my wand higher to examine it. Deep below the thick, misty fray carapace, something glinted. A great silver cross…

My heart skipped into my mouth: I dropped to my knees at the pool's edge and angled the wand so as to flood the bottom of the pool with as much light as possible. It was a sword with glittering rubies in its hilt… The sword of Gryffindor was lying at the bottom of the forest pool.

Barely breathing, I stared down at it. How was this possible?

I pointed my wand at the sword and murmured, "Accio Sword."

It did not stir. I let out a long sigh. I knew what I had to do. I glanced around at the surrounding trees again, but was convinced now that nobody was going to attack me. With fumbling fingers I removed my many layers of clothing until I was just wearing a tank top and leggings. I was shivering and my teeth chattered loudly. I pointed my wand at the ice.

"Diffindo."

It cracked with a sound like a bullet in the silence. I put my wand down, stepped to the pool's edge, and dived.

Every pore of my body screamed in protest: The very air in my lungs seemed to freeze. I pushed through the dark water to the bottom and reached out, groping for the sword. My fingers closed around the hilt, and I pulled my body upwards.

I gasped in air when my head broke through the surface. I crawled out of the pool with the sword in my hand. I stood up, shivering violently. I took off my wet clothes and put on the dry clothes I had left lying on the bank. I tied my pouch around my waist and made my way back to the tent, the heavy sword gripped tightly in my hands.

I could not wait to wake Ron and Hermione, and it was with quickening excitement that I entered the tent. It was gloriously warm after the pool and the forest.

Ron and Hermione were both fast asleep, and they didn't wake up until I had called out to them several times.

"What's wrong?" said Hermione. "Alyssa? Are you all right?"

"It's okay, everything's fine. More than fine. I've got something."

"What do you mean?" said Ron.

I held up the sword and the both of them gasped. I explained to them about the silver doe.

"Are you sure you didn't cast your Patronus without realizing it?" said Hermione. "You could have been daydreaming."

"I'm positive," I said. "I wasn't even holding my wand."

"Who's Patronus could it be then?" asked Ron.

"My mother's Patronus was also a doe," I said.

"Alyssa, you're mother is dead," said Hermione softly.

"Maybe it was her spirit," I said.

"I don't believe in spirits," said Hermione. "And even if spirits did exist, why would your mother show herself to you tonight, when she's never shown herself before?"

I just shrugged. I couldn't tell Hermione what I had just discovered about myself, so how could I explain to her that I needed my mother here tonight more than I ever did to comfort me and explain to me and make everything right again.

Ron and Hermione could never find out that Snape was my father. They would never be able to look at me the same way again.

"What are we waiting for?" said Ron. "Let's destroy the Horcruxes. I think Alyssa ought to do the first one since she got the sword.

"All right," I said, reaching into my pouch and pulling out the locket. I handed the locket to Ron. "You hold it, while I open in using Parsletongue. Then I'll stab it."

"Why Parsletongue?" said Ron.

"I just know."

Ron held the locket out to me. Hermione stood beside him, looking nervous.

"_Open_," I said in parsletongue.

The two gold doors of the locket swung open. Red, snake-like eyes appeared in the two glass windows of the locket. The locket must have become hot, since Ron cursed and dropped it onto the ground. I was about to pierce the locket with the sword, when a cold, high pitched voice hissed from out of the Horcrux.

"_I have seen your heart, and it is mine."_

"Stab it, Alyssa!" squealed Hermione.

"_I have seen your dreams, Alyssa Potter, and I have seen your fears. All you desire is possible, but all that you dread is also possible. Do as I say, or you will turn out just like Severus Snape. Evil, murderous, full of hate."_

I raised the sword and plunged it through the Horcrux. There was a clang of metal and a long, drawn-out scream.

The three of us stared at the broken locket.

"Well, that wasn't so bad," said Ron. "But what was all that stuff about Snape?"

I continued staring at the locket, but I wasn't seeing the locket anymore. The only thing my mind was concentrating on was Voldemort's voice: "Y_ou will turn out just like Severus Snape. Evil, murderous, full of hate."_

"Let's do the cup now," said Hermione quickly. "Should I do it, or would you like to, Ron?"

"Er, I guess I can do it," he said.

"I'm going to go finish doing my watch," I said. I left the tent and sat outside the entrance, shivering as the cold wind hit my face.

The Horcrux had no idea what it was talking about. I would never become like Snape. Even though James wasn't my father, I would be like him: faithful, loyal, understanding, and loving.

I could hear the muffled sounds of Voldemort's voice from inside the tent, and then another clang of metal and a scream. We had now destroyed two Horcruxes. A few minutes later, Hermione appeared outside the tent.

"It's my turn to do the watch," she said. "You should go get some sleep."

"Okay," I said, standing up.

"Alyssa, wait," said Hermione, and I turned around. "Why do you fear becoming like Snape? You know that you are nothing like him or You-Know-Who. I don't believe it possible for you to ever do anything remotely evil."

"Thanks, Hermione," I said. "That means a lot. But I don't know why the Horcrux said those things, since I don't fear becoming a person like Snape. The Horcrux probably couldn't think of anything else to say."

Hermione looked at me skeptically, but she just nodded.

I tossed and turned in my bed all night. Sleep eluded me. The same thought kept clouding my mind: I had no idea who I was. Until today, I didn't know who my father was or even my real birth date. What else didn't I know about myself?

I kept trying to tell myself that it didn't matter that Snape was my father. Plenty of people had horrible fathers and they turned out just fine. It wouldn't have bothered me nearly as much if my father was a Death Eater who I had never met. Then I could just pretend like he didn't exist. But I couldn't pretend that with Snape, since I had known him for over five years.

Even disregarding the fact that Snape was a murderer, James was still such a better man than he. Snape always despised me because he thought I was James's daughter, but James would have brought me up as his own daughter and loved me, despite the fact that Snape was my biological father.

It was so ironic that whenever Snape wanted to insult me, he told me how much I was like my father. If only he knew…

Eventually, I drifted off into an uneasy sleep filled with many nightmares of Snape. My dream changed yet again, but this one was much clearer than the others.

_I was at the gates of Hogwarts. The sun was barely visible over the horizon as I glided alongside Snape, up through the grounds towards the lake._

"_I shall join you in the castle shortly," I said in my high, cold voice. "Leave me now."_

_Snape bowed and set off back up the path. I walked on, around the edge of the lake, taking in the outlines of the beloved castle, my first kingdom, my birthright…_

_And here it was, beside the lake. The white marble tomb. I felt a rush of controlled euphoria. I raised the old yew wand: How fitting that this would be its last act._

_The tomb split open from head to foot. The shrouded figure was as long and thin as it had been in life. I raised the wand again._

_The wrappings fell open. The face was translucent, pale, sunken, yet almost perfectly preserved. Dumbledore's hands were folded upon his chest, and there it lay, clutched beneath them, buried with him._

_My spiderlike hand swopped and pulled the wand from Dumbledore's grip, and as I took it, a shower of sparks flew from its tip, sparkling over the corpse of its last owner, ready to serve a new master at last._

I opened my eyes and sat up, recollecting everything that I had just seen in my vision. If I had thought that this night couldn't get any worse, I had been wrong. Voldemort had finally gotten his hands on the Elder Wand. Dumbledore must have had it the whole time.

"Ron," I gasped, looking over at his bed. He didn't stir. I crawled out of bed and shook Ron until he awoke.

"What's going on?" said Ron sleepily.

"Voldemort has got the Elder Wand."

"Did you have another vision?" asked Ron, sitting up and looking more alert. I nodded and Ron groaned.

"Damn it, I can't believe he's got an unbeatable wand," said Ron. "This is going to make it nearly impossible to kill him now."

"You think I don't know that?" I said, exasperatedly.

"Should we go outside and tell Hermione?" said Ron.

"Let's just tell her in the morning," I said. "You know her; she won't want to hear it. She'll just say I should be using Occlumency."

* * *

"We can't concentrate on the fact that You-Know-Who's got the Elder Wand," said Hermione the next morning. "We need to think of places where You-Know-Who would have hidden a Horcrux. Other than the snake, we've only got one more left to find."

"And it's probably something of Ravenclaws, right?" said Ron.

"Right," said Hermione. "So where could it be?"

"What about the orphanage where You-Know-Who grew up?" said Ron.

"Alyssa said a while back that You-Know-Who hated that place, isn't that so? Alyssa?"

"Oh, sorry. What did you say?" I said quickly, trying to cover up that I hadn't been paying any attention to their conversation. In fact, I had been thinking about Snape again, since a sudden realization had come to me. The reason why the street my parents had lived on in Godric's Hollow had looked so familiar to me was because I had seen it last year when I looked in the Pensieve containing Snape's memories. The memory I had seen of Snape walking down that lane must have been from the night my mother cheated on James.

It felt like it had been years since that day when Snape threw me across his office, not just six months. No wonder Snape had been so angry with me. If I had stayed in that memory much longer, I would have witnessed Snape and my mother sleeping together. I shuddered inwardly at that thought.

"You okay?" said Ron. "You haven't spoken once this morning."

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, attempting to sound cheery.

"I know you're upset that You-Know-Who's got the wand, but we can't let that get us down," said Hermione.

"Yeah," I said.

Voldemort having the Elder Wand wasn't nearly all that I was upset about, I thought to myself, but Hermione was right about not letting things bring me down. I had to stop mourning over the fact that my mom cheated on James and that Snape was my father, and get on with the Horcrux search. Feeling bad for myself was not going to help anything.

"Hey, I've got a brilliant idea!" said Ron. "It seems like lately Alyssa's connection to You-Know-Who has been getting stronger. I mean, you've been having more vision, right? Do you think you can force yourself into seeing You-Know-Who's mind?"

"I don't think so," I said. "I only see through his mind when he's really excited or angry."

"He's obviously been more emotional lately," said Ron, "so maybe you'll be able to see something."

"I guess I can try."

"I don't think this is a good idea," said Hermione.

"Give it a rest, will you?" said Ron.

"Stop bickering!" I said. "I need to concentrate."

I closed my eyes, not sure of what to do. I pushed my mind to enter Voldemort's. I had no idea if it was of my own doing or if it was an extreme coincidence, but suddenly, I was seeing through Voldemort's mind.

Bellatrix Lestrange was kneeling in front of Voldemort.

"M-my Lord," she stammered. "The s-small golden c-cup that you had g-given me a while back has been s-stolen."

A scream of rage left Voldemort. It could not be true, it was impossible. The Elder Wand slashed through the air and Bellatrix was struck to the ground. Was Dumbledore at the root of this? Had he informed the girl?

He must know… He paced the room, and the pictures blurred and burned in his boiling brain: the lake, the shack, and Hogwarts.

To be utterly sure, he must return to each of his hiding places. Which should he visit first? The shack was the least secure of his hiding places, it was there that he would go first…

The lake, surely impossible… though there was a slight possibility that Dumbledore might have known some of his past misdeeds, through the orphanage.

And Hogwarts… but he knew that his Horcrux there was safe. He had hid it in a secret room no one but he knew about; and it would be impossible for Potter to enter Hogsmeade without detection anyways, let alone the school. Nevertheless, it would be prudent to alert Snape to the fact that the girl might try to reenter the castle…

My eyes flew open as I was brought back to the present. Ron and Hermione were staring at me.

"He knows." My own voice sounded strange. "He knows, and he's going to check where the others are, and the last one," I was already on my feet, "is at Hogwarts. I knew it. I _knew_ it."

"What?"

Ron was gaping at me; Hermione was looking worried.

"But what did you see? How do you know it's not a trap?"

"It's not," I said firmly.

"Did you see where in Hogwarts it is?" asked Ron, now scrambling to his feet too.

"I couldn't see it, but it's in some secret room that only Voldemort knew about- OH MY GOD! THE ROOM OF REQUIREMENT!"

"But plenty of people know about that Room of Requirement," said Hermione.

"Voldemort would have been arrogant enough to think that only he would know Hogwarts' deepest secret. Even Dumbledore never knew about the Room of Requirement."

"We can't just go!" cried Hermione as I pulled out the Invisibility Cloak. "We haven't got a plan, we need to-"

"We need to get going," I said, picking up the sword and slipping it into my pouch. "Can you imagine what he's going to do once he realizes the ring and the locket are gone? He's warned Snape about us coming, but what if he decides anyways that the Hogwarts Horcrux isn't safe enough?"

"But how are we going to get in?"

"We'll Apparate into Honey Dukes," I said, "and get into Hogwarts through the secret passage. Filch never knew about that passageway so it should still be open. Get under the Cloak, Hermione, I want to stick together this time."

"But we don't really fit-"

"No one's going to notice our feet."

Hermione walked forward and took her place between Ron and I. I pulled the Cloak down as far as it would go. Going to the Hogwarts where I might see Snape was the last thing I wanted to do, but it had to be done, so together we turned on the spot into the crushing darkness.

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews!**


	14. Missing

**A/N: The very end of chapter 13 has been changed, so I would recommend rereading that so there is no confusion. Enjoy!**

We had Apparated into the cramped basement of Honeydukes. I was about to speak, when I heard footsteps coming from the stairs, and I quickly closed my mouth. I looked down to see that our feet were clearly visible from beneath the Invisibility Cloak.

"Quick, let's get behind those boxes," I whispered. We shuffled behind a stack of boxes just as a plump woman entered the basement. She was rummaging through a bunch of boxes and when she neared ours I held my breath, but luckily, she seemed to have found what she was looking for, and she went back upstairs.

"There's a trap door somewhere," I whispered. "I forget exactly where it was." Hindered somewhat by the Cloak, we tried as fast as we could to move around the boxes while scanning the dusty floor for signs of a trap door.

"Ouch!" Ron said.

"Shh!!!" whispered Hermione and I at the same time.

"Sorry," whispered Ron. "Hey, look what I just tripped over. I think it's a handle." We bent down, and sure enough, it was the handle to the trap door. I reached for the handle and yanked the trap door open.

"Let's go," I said.

We hurriedly climbed down the hundreds of stone steps that led to the tunnel, which was connected to Hogwarts. After what seemed like an eternity, we reached the narrow, low, earthy passageway.

"We're going to have to take off the Cloak," said Hermione. "It's too narrow. We need to go single file."

"All right," I said, pulling the Cloak off of us and stuffing it into my pouch. "We need to go fast. Voldemort will soon realize that the locket and ring are missing too. I don't think he has yet, though. I would feel it if he did."

We traveled through the tunnel as fast as we could, and then we crawled up the stone slide, which ended at the trap door that led into Hogwarts. I held out the Cloak, and Ron and Hermione joined me beneath it.

"This is it," I said.

"How are we going to go about doing this?" whispered Hermione. "Even if the Horcrux is in the Room of Requirement, we have no idea what the Horcrux looks like or what to ask the Room of Requirement to become."

"We'll just have to guess about the Room of Requirement, but maybe we'll be able to find Flitwick and ask him about any objects that belonged to Ravenclaw. I'm sure he'd help us. Should we try to find him first, or should we go right away to the Room of Requirement?"

"Let's find Flitwick first," said Hermione, "or else we'd just be looking around aimlessly."

I looked to Ron and he nodded in agreement.

"Okay, then," I said. "Let's do this." I reached up and opened the trap door. We peered out through the opening. There wasn't anyone near the stone witch, and I couldn't hear any voices in the distance.

"I think it's around dinner time," said Hermione. "Everyone's probably in the Great Hall."

"Including Flitwick," said Ron. "How are we going to get to him?"

"We'll have to find a way," I said.

The three of us crawled out of the witch's hump. I straightened the Cloak to make sure that it was covering as much of us as possible. We walked down the corridor, but stopped abruptly when we hear footsteps nearing us. It sounded like they were skipping. As the person got closer, I could hear her humming. Ron and Hermione started retreating, but I whispered, "Stop! I think it's-"

And sure enough, around the corner came Luna Lovegood. I couldn't believe our luck. I was about to step from outside of the Cloak, but I felt Ron's hand on my shoulder and I looked up at him.

"Let me," he said. "You're the one with a ten thousand galleon prize, remember?"

I sighed, and allowed Ron to leave the security of the Cloak. Luna gasped when she saw him appear, and she ran up to him and gave him a huge hug.

"Er, thanks," said Ron, awkwardly patting her back.

"I knew you'd come back!" said Luna, cheerfully. "It's been dreadful here without you, Alyssa, and Hermione. Are they here too?"

"Yeah, they're over there," said Ron, pointing to where Hermione and I were standing under the Cloak. Luna skipped over to where Ron pointed and stopped about a foot in front of us.

"Hello Alyssa, hello Hermione," said Luna. "I can't wait to tell everyone that you're back! Are we going to overthrow Snape and Carrow?"

"Hi, Luna," I said. "Listen, you can't tell anyone that we're here. We haven't come to fight off Snape. We're looking for an object that once belonged to Ravenclaw. Do you know of any?"

Luna looked crestfallen, but she answered, "Well, there's her lost diadem."

"When was it lost?" asked Hermione.

"Centuries ago, they say," said Luna, and my heart sank. "Professor Flitwick says the diadem vanished with Ravenclaw herself. People have looked, but nobody's ever found a trace of it."

"What _is_ a diadem?" asked Ron.

"It's a kind of crown," said Luna. "If you'd like to see what it's supposed to look like, I could take you up to our common room and show you. Ravenclaw's wearing it in her statue."

I suddenly felt a terrible, scorching pain in my scar. The corridor vanished, and I was standing inside a ruined stone shack, and the rotting floorboards were ripped apart at my feet, a disinterred golden box lay open and empty beside the hole, and Voldemort's scream of fury vibrated inside my head.

With an enormous effort I pulled out of Voldemort's mind, back to where I stood facing Luna.

"Are you all right, Alyssa?" asked Luna.

"I'm fine," I said, turning toward Ron and Hermione and giving them a meaningful look. They're expressions told me that they understood. Time was running out fast.

"I'd like to see that statue," I said to Luna, seeing as it was the only lead we had. I turned to Ron and Hermione and said, "We can't all fit under the Cloak, so I'll go with Luna and you two go back through the witch's hump and wait there. I'll come for you. Use the spell _Dissendium_ to open the trap door."

I was relieved when Ron and Hermione didn't argue for once. Hermione left the Invisibility Cloak and together, she and Ron went back down the hall to the stone witch.

"Come under here," I said to Luna, holding out the Cloak to her. As soon as she was covered by the Cloak, she led the way to the Ravenclaw common room.

"Where is everyone?" I whispered to Luna, as we walked.

"At dinner," said Luna cheerfully.

"Who is that person you mentioned earlier? Carrow, I think you said."

"Death Eater," said Luna. "He teaches Defense Against the Dark Arts, but now it's more like just Dark Arts, and he's in charge of discipline. If you get a detention, you have to go to him. He's been known to use the Cruciatus Curse."

I gasped.

"Snape doesn't do anything about it, obviously," continued Luna. "He probably promotes it, but all the other teachers try to find other ways to punish students besides detentions." Luna sighed. "It doesn't even feel like Hogwarts anymore without Dumbledore."

Luna led me up a spiral staircase that I had never even noticed before. At last we reached a door, but there was no handle, only a bronze knocker in the shape of an eagle.

Luna reached out her hand and knocked once. At once the beak of the eagle opened, and a soft, musical voice said, "Which came first, the phoenix or the flame?"

"Hmm… What do you think, Alyssa?" said Luna, looking thoughtful.

"What? Isn't there just a password?"

"Oh no, you've got to answer a question," said Luna. "Let's see, I think the answer is that a circle had no beginning."

"Well reasoned," said the voice, and the door swung open.

The deserted Ravenclaw common room was a wide, circular room, airier than any I had ever seen at Hogwarts. In a niche opposite the door stood a tall statue of white marble. I strode right up to the marble woman. A delicate-looking circlet had been reproduced in marble on top of her head. There were tiny words etched into it. I stepped from under the Cloak and climbed up onto Ravenclaw's plinth to read them.

"'Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure.'"

"Which makes you pretty skint, witless," said a cackling voice.

I whirled around, slipped of the plinth, and landed on the floor. A large man, who I recognized as one of the Death Eaters present at Dumbledore's death, was standing before me, and even as I raised my wand, he pressed a stubby forefinger to the skull and snake branded on his forearm.

The moment his finger touched the Mark, my scar burned savagely, and the room vanished from sight, and I was standing upon an outcrop of rock beneath a cliff, and the sea was washing around me and there was triumph in my heart- _They have the girl_.

A loud bang brought me back to where I stood, and I saw the large man falling to the floor.

"I've never Stunned anyone except in our D.A. lessons," said Luna, sounding mildly interested. "That was a lot louder than I thought it would be."

"Shh!" I said. I could hear footsteps coming up the spiral staircase outside of the room. "Luna, where are you? I need to get under the Cloak!"

Luna's feet appeared out of nowhere; I hurried to her side and she let the Cloak fall back over us. I heard a tap of the knocker and the musical voice asked, "Where do Vanished objects go?"

"Into nonbeing, which is to say, everything," replied a voice, which I recognized, with relief, as Professor McGonagall's.

"Nicely phrased," replied the eagle door knocker, and the door swung open.

Professor McGonagall entered the room and gasped when she saw Alecto lying unconscious on the floor. She bent down to examine the body. I pulled the Cloak off myself and Luna and stepped forward.

"Potter!" whispered Professor McGonagall, clutching her heart. "Potter- you're here! What-? How-?" She struggled to pull herself together.

"Professor McGonagall, Voldemort's on the way," I said.

"You must flee," whispered McGonagall. "Now, Potter, as quickly as you can!"

"I can't," I said. "There's something I need to do."

"Potter, if He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named does indeed know that you are here-"

As she said it, a wrath that was like physical pain blazed through my, setting my scar on fire, and for a second I looked down upon a basin whose potion had turned clear, and saw that no golden locket lay safe beneath the surface-

"Potter, are you all right?" said a voice, and I came back: I was clutching Luna's shoulder to steady myself.

"Time's running out, Voldemort's getting nearer. Professor, I'm acting on Dumbledore's orders, but we've got to get the students out while I'm here."

"You're acting on _Dumbledore's_ orders?" she repeated with a look of dawning wonder. Then she drew herself up to her fullest height.

"We shall secure the school against He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named while you do what you need to do. I'm sure we'll be able to hold him off for a while if we all put our best efforts into it. Of course, something will have to be done about Professor Snape. And if Hogwarts is about to enter a state of siege, it would indeed be advisable to take as many innocent people out of the way as possible-"

"There's a way," I said quickly, and I explained about the passageway leading into Honeydukes.

"Potter, we're talking about hundreds of students-"

"I know, Professor, but if Voldemort and the Death Eaters are concentrating on the school boundaries they won't be interested in anyone who's Disapparating out of Honeydukes."

"There's something in that," she agreed. "You'd better put your Cloak back on. I'm going to go alert the Heads of Houses. You do what you need to do. Good luck."

"Thank you," I said. Professor McGonagall put her hand reassuringly on my shoulder,

and then we exited the room. When we reached the bottom of the spiral staircase, we hurried off in opposite directions. After checking to make sure that we were fully covered by the Cloak, Luna and I ran back to the stone witch. When we reached it, I whispered, "_Dissendium_!" and the witch's hump opened. Ron and Hermione's heads popped out.

"That took a while," said Ron.

"Voldemort's coming," I panted. "We need to get to the Room of Requirement _now_!" Ron and Hermione's eyes widened in shock as they scrambled out through the trap door. I turned back to Luna. "Thank you so much for your help, Luna," I said. "Go down this trap door and you'll eventually reach Honeydukes. You can Apparate from there."

"I think I'd rather stay to help fight," said Luna dreamily.

I wasn't in any mood to argue, so I just said, "If that's what you want, but you can't come with us. I'm sorry."

"Oh, that's okay," said Luna. "I'm glad I could be of help."

Luna pulled the Cloak off of herself and I held it out for Ron and Hermione, who quickly draped it over themselves. We ran down the corridor until we came to the Entrance Hall. I could hear Professor McGonagall's voice issuing from inside the Great Hall.

"Although many of you still do not believe it, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named returned to life a year and a half ago, and he is now on his way to attack this castle. Therefore, we will be conducting an evacuation to see that you are all safe. Prefects, when I give the word, you will organize your House and-"

"You-Know-Who's not back!" someone interrupted. "That's not possible!"

"Yeah, that was just a bunch of baloney Dumbledore and Potter made up!" shouted another person. I could hear students muttering, and their whispers were growing louder.

"_Quiet!_" shouted Professor McGonagall, trying to restore order. "I understand that it is difficult to believe, but there is no time for-"

But her words were drowned as a different voice echoed throughout the Hall. It was high, cold, and clear: There was no telling from where it came.

"I know that you are preparing to fight." I could hear screams coming from the students, and I could almost feel their panic and disbelief through the Great Hall doors. "Your efforts are futile. You cannot fight me. I do not want to kill you. I have great respect for the teachers of Hogwarts. I do not want to spill magical blood."

There was silence in the Hall now.

"Give me Alyssa Potter," said Voldemort's voice," and none shall be harmed. Give me Alyssa Potter, and I shall leave the school untouched. Give me Alyssa Potter, and you will be rewarded.

"You have a half an hour."

"Come on, Alyssa. Let's get going," whispered Hermione urgently. The three of us ran through corridors and up flights of staircases until we were finally facing the Room of Requirement, completely out of breath. Just as I was about to speak, there was an explosion from overhead: All three of us looked up as dust fell from the ceiling and we heard a distant scream.

The battle had begun.

"What should we ask the Room to turn into?" I said, frantically, as I saw flashes of red and green coming from the nearest window.

"What would You-Know-Who have asked it?" said Ron.

"He wanted to hide the Horcrux, so he would have asked the Room to turn into a place for him to hide it, I suppose," said Hermione, weakly. She was visible shaking with fear as the walls and ceiling continued to tremble.

It was all we had, so I closed my eyes and ran past the stretch of wall that was the Room of Requirement three times while thinking, _I need a place to hide something_.

A door appeared, and Ron, Hermione, and I walked into the Room, closing the door behind us. All was silent. We were in a place the size of a cathedral with the appearance of a city, its towering walls built of objects that must have been hidden by thousands of long-gone students.

"Are you sure he hid the Horcrux in the Room of Requirement?" said Hermione, skeptically.

"I think so," I mumbled. I had been so confident before, but now I was starting to have doubts.

"Accio diadem!" I cried, but nothing happened.

I described to Ron and Hermione what the diadem looked like. We decided it would be best if we split up to look for it, so we took off the Cloak and I shoved it back into my pouch. We sped off in adjacent aisles. I could hear the others' footsteps echoing through the towering piles of junk.

Deeper and deeper into the labyrinth I went for what felt like hours. My breath was loud in my ears, and then my very soul seemed to shiver: There it was, right ahead, an ancient, discolored tiara.

I had already stretched out my hand, though I remained ten feet away. In a dreamlike state, I moved toward the diadem until I held it in my hands. On it I could read the words: Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure. I reached into my pouch and pulled out the sword. I dropped the diadem onto the ground and didn't even wait to hear Voldemort's voice emerge from it before stabbing it with the sword.

The long, drawn-out scream must have reached Ron and Hermione's ears, since I could hear their muffled shouts and footsteps coming towards me. When they appeared and saw the ruined Horcrux on the ground, Ron's smile widely and let out an excited whoop, and Hermione actually jumped for joy.

She ran up to me and hugged me, saying, "You were right! I'm sorry I doubted you."

"It's okay," I said. "I doubted myself too."

I also felt extremely happy at destroying another Horcrux, but I dreaded what was coming next. We somehow had to get to Voldemort's snake and then Voldemort himself.

As soon as we left the safety of the Room of Requirement, I could hear yells and shouts and unmistakable noises of dueling. I looked around and my heart seemed to fail: Death Eaters had penetrated Hogwarts. I realized with a start that the two men dueling the Death Eaters were Mr. Weasley and Sirius. The Order must have been called in. Ron, Hermione, and I ran forward to help.

Jets of light flashed in every direction, and the mask of the Death Eater nearest me slipped off and I saw that it was Umbridge.

"Expeliarmus!" I shouted, and her wand flew from her hand and I caught it deftly. I slipped it into my pouch, then looked up to see Umbridge running away, but not before Sirius managed to Stun her.

"Nice one!" I said.

"You too!" said Sirius, smiling.

Suddenly, Voldemort's voice reverberated from the walls and floor.

"You have fought," said the high, cold voice, "valiantly. Lord Voldemort knows how to value bravery.

"Yet you have sustained heavy losses. If you continue to resist me, you will all die, one by one. I do not wish this to happen. Every drop of magical blood spilled is a loss and a waste.

"Lord Voldemort is merciful. I command my forces to retreat immediately. You have one hour. Dispose of your dead with dignity. Treat your injured.

"I speak now, Alyssa Potter, directly to you. You have permitted your friends to die for you rather than face me yourself. I shall wait for one hour in the Forbidden Forest. If, at the end of that hour, you have not come to me, have not given yourself up, then battle recommences. This time, I shall enter the fray myself, Alyssa Potter, and I shall find you, and I shall punish every last man, woman, and child who had tried to conceal you from me. One hour."

Both Ron and Hermione shook their heads frantically, looking at me.

"Don't listen to him," said Sirius, putting his arm around my shoulders.

As we walked to the Great Hall, I wondered if everyone else could still hear Voldemort ringing in their heads, as I could.

_You have permitted your friends to die for you rather than face me yourself. I shall wait for one hour in the Forbidden Forest… One hour…_

I stopped in the doorway when we reached the Great Hall. The House tables were gone and the room was crowded. The dead lay in a row in the middle of the Hall. Ron and Hermione had already entered the Hall and had gone to where the Weasley's were standing. Sirius was still standing beside me and I heard his sharp intake of breath. I looked to where he was staring and saw Remus and Tonks, pale and peaceful-looking, apparently asleep beneath the dark, enchanted ceiling.

The Great Hall seemed to fly away, become smaller, shrink, as I reeled backwards from the door. I could not draw breath. I could not bear to look at any of the other bodies, to see who else had died for me.

I turned and ran up the marble staircase. Sirius didn't even seem to notice me depart.

Lupin, Tonks… I yearned now to feel… I wished I could rip out my heart, my innards, everything that was screaming inside me…

The castle was completely empty. I stopped running eventually and leaned back against the cold wall, my head pounding. I closed my eyes, trying to banish away all my thoughts.

Suddenly, I felt my entire body become rigid and immobile. The only thing that was keeping me standing was the wall behind me. I opened my eyes, the only part of me which seemed able to move. I realized that someone had just used a Freezing charm on me. I glanced around frantically for my attacker, but I couldn't see anyone in my line of vision.

I heard the swish of a cloak and none other than the person I had dreaded seeing all night appeared before me.

Severus Snape.

"We meet again, Potter," he said in his cold voice that he always saved especially for me.

I stared into his empty, black eyes, and hatred boiled inside me. As Snape neared me, I studied his horrible face. Nothing about him had changed. Had I expected it to? Did I think that I would somehow see myself in him, now that I knew the truth? We had the same hair and skin color and possibly a similar chin, but other than that, there was no resemblance.

I hated that I was so vulnerable at the hands of Snape. I would have given anything to duel with him, to finish what I had started the night Dumbledore died. Who cared that I was related to him? He was no father of mine.

Snape drew out his wand again, but I was certain that he wasn't going to kill me. I knew that Voldemort wanted to do that himself. Snape was most likely sent to bring me to Voldemort. How fitting that Snape should bring about my downfall too, seeing as he had already done that to three of the people who mattered most to me.

Snape muttered a spell I didn't recognized and my feet lifted about five inches off the ground. Snape turned around and began to walk in the opposite direction and I drifted a few feet behind him. Besides my eyes, the only other thing in my body that was moving was my heart, which was now beating at a rapid pace.

Feeling angry, nervous, and humiliated all at the same time, I closed my eyes, hoping to magically disappear. I opened my eyes when I came to stop. Snape was telling the gargoyle outside of Dumbledore's office the password. The doors opened and I floated up the spiral staircases behind Snape.

My heart was hammering. Was Voldemort waiting in Dumbledore's office for me? Had he somehow snuck into the school?

However, when we entered the office, it was empty. It looked exactly the same as it had when Dumbledore was Headmaster, except that all the portrait frames were empty. I glanced hopelessly at Dumbledore's deserted frame.

Snape turned to face me. I was still floating above the ground, so I was only a few inches shorter than him, which made me feel slightly less helpless.

"Potter, I know you may find this hard to believe, but I am on your side," said Snape.

His callous tone did nothing to convince me. He was trying to lure me into a false sense of security, I thought dryly, but I wasn't going to fall for that.

"I assume you will need proof," said Snape, walking over to the counter where the Pensieve was placed. He held the tip of his wand to his temple and pulled out strands of silvery substance and placed them into the Pensieve.

"I am going to Unfreeze you," said Snape coldly, "and when I do, you _will_ cooperate. If you don't believe I am on your side, you may look into the Pensieve to gain my trust. Understand?"

There was no way for me to indicate that I understood, but Snape took it that I did, for the next moment, I was back on my feet and able to move.

"How do I know you're not going to attack me from behind when I look in the Pensieve?" I blurted out.

Glaring at me, Snape said, "If I was going to attack you, wouldn't I have done it by now? I see that you have not become any less dense," he added with a smirk. "However, if it will appease your mind…" Snape set his wand on the desk. This would be the perfect moment to attack him, but I didn't. I was desperate to believe that Snape was on my side… anything to help deal with the fact that he was my father.

Returning his icy stare, I walked to the Pensieve, took a deep breath, and dived in.

**A/N: Please review! I really appreciate it!**


	15. Understanding

I fell headlong into sunlight, and my feet found warm ground. When I straightened up, I saw that I was in a nearly deserted playground. Two girls were swinging backward and forward, and a skinny boy was watching them from behind a clump of bushes.

I moved closer to the boy. Snape looked no more than nine or ten years old. The younger of the two girls got off her swing and picked up a fallen flower from the bush behind which Snape lurked.

"Tuney, look at this," said Lily. "Watch what I can do."

Lily waited until Petunia was near enough to have a clear view, then held out her palm. The flower sat there, opening and closing its petals.

"How do you do it?" asked Petunia, with a definite longing to her voice.

"It's obvious, isn't it?" Snape could no longer contain himself, but had jumped out from behind the bushes. Petunia shrieked and ran back toward the swings, but Lily, though clearly startled, remained where she was.

"What's obvious?" asked Lily.

Snape had an air of nervous excitement. With an air of nervous excitement. He lowered his voice and said, "I know what you are."

"What do you mean?"

"You're… you're a witch," whispered Snape.

She looked affronted.

"_That's_ not a very nice thing to say to somebody!"

"No!" said Snape. He was highly colored, and he chased after the girls. The sisters considered him, united in disapproval.

"You are," said Snape to Lily. "You _are_ a witch. I've been watching you for a while. But there's nothing wrong with that. My mum's one, and I'm a wizard."

"Lily, comone on, we're leaving!" said Petunia shrilly. Lily obeyed her sister at once, glaring at Snape as she left. He stood watching them as they marched through the playground gate, and I recognized Snape's bitter disappointment and understood that Snape had been planning this moment for a while, and that it had all gone wrong…

The scene dissolved and reformed around me. I was now in a small thicket of trees. Lily and Snape sat cross-legged on the ground.

"How are things at your house?" Lily asked.

"Fine," said Snape.

"They're not arguing anymore?"

"Oh yes, they're arguing," said Snape. He picked up a fistfull of leaves and began tearing them apart, apparently unaware of what he was doing. "But it won't be that long and I'll be gone."

"Severus?"

A little smile twisted Snape's mouth when she said his name.

"Yeah?"

"Tell me about the dementors again."

"What d'you want to know about them for?"

"If I use magic outside school-"

"They wouldn't give you a Demenrot for that! Dementors are for people who do really bad stuff. They guard the wizard prison, Azkaban. You're not going to end up in Azkaban, you're too-"

He turned red and shredded more leaves…

And the scene reformed.

I was standing right behind Snape as we faced the candlelit House tables. Professor McGonagall said, "Evans, Lily!"

I watched my mother walk forawrd on trembling legs and sit down upong the rickety stool. Professor McGonagall dropped the sorting hat on her head, and barely a second after it had touched the dark red hair, the hat cried, "_Gryffindor!_"

I heard Snape let out a tiny groan.

And the scene changed…

I was standing on High Street in Hogsmeade. Valentine's decorations were displayed in every store window, and I spotted Snape and Lily sitting on a nearby bench despite the snow. I knew from my mum's diary entry that they were now fourteen. Just as I was expecting, Snape leaned in and kissed Lily.

And the scene dissolved once more…

It was night time, and Snape and Lily were standing in one of the dark, secluded corners in Hogwarts. It looked as if they had aged a year.

"I don't want to hide our relationship anymore," Lily was saying. "Look at us now. We have to sneak out at night and hide to be able to be together."

"I don't see what the problem is," said Snape. "Everything has been going really well. Aren't you happy?"

"No!" said Lily, raising her voice. "I want to be able to talk to you or hug you or kiss you whenever I want. I hate always having to watch my back whenever I'm with you! I don't give a damn what other people think. So what if I'm in Gryffindor and you're in Slytherin? So what if our friends make fun of us and people whisper behind out backs? I love you and that's all that matters to me."

"I love you too," said Snape. "I just don't see why it's necessary to go public. It'll just cause problems."

"Yes, I know what problems you're thinking of," said Lily, whose voice was now deadly quiet. "You're afraid of all the Slytherins reactions if they find out that you are dating a _Mudblood_." She said the last word with utter contempt.

"You're being ridiculus!" said Snape. "You know I don't think of you that way."

"But you call everyone else of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

Snape struggled on the verge of speech. Lily laughed mirthlessly.

"Well?" she said. "What'll it be?"

"What do you mean?" said Snape.

"Are we going public or not?"

"I can't, Lily," said Snape quietly. "You have to understand."

"Oh, don't worry," she said. "I understand." Snape looked relieved for an instant, but his expression changed immediately when Lily continued speaking,

"I understand that you love your reputation more than you love me!" Tears streaming down her face, Lily ran off.

"Lily, wait!" shouted Snape. "Come back!"

The scene dissolved again. Snape was sitting on the bank of the Lake with some other Slytherin boys. He was glaring at a tree in the near distance under which Lily sat nestled in James's arms. Jealousy burned in his eyes.

The surroundings dissolved, and the scene took a little longer to reform: I seemed to fly through shifting shapes and colors until my surroundings solidified again and I stood on a hilltop. Snape, who looked to be in his early twenties, was panting, turning on the spot, his wand gripped tightly in his hand, waiting for something or for someone.

Then a blidning, jagged het of white light flew through the air: I thought of lightning, but Snape had dropped to his knees and his wand had flown out of his hand.

"Don't kill me!"

"That was not my intention."

Dumbledore stood before Snape, his face illuminated from below in the light cast by his wand.

"Well, Severus? What message does Lord Voldemort have for me?"

"No- no message- I'm here on my own account! I- I come with a warning- no, a request- please-"

"What request could a Death Eater make of me?"

"The- the prophecy… the prediction… Trelawney…"

"Ah, yes," said Dumbledore. "How much did you relay to Lord Voldemort?"

"Everything- everything I heard!" said Snape. "That is why- it is for that reason- he thinks it means Lily Evans!"

"The prophecy did not refer to a woman," said Dumbledore. "It spoke of a child born at the end of July-"

"You know what I mean! He thinks it means her daughter, he is going to hunt her down- kill them all-"

"If she means so much to you," said Dumbledore, "surely Lord Voldemort will spare her? Could you not ask for mercy for the mother, in exchange for the daughter?"

"I have- I have asked him-"

"You disgust me," said Dumbledore, and I had never heard so much contempt in his voice. Snape seemed to shrink a little. "You do not care, then, about the deaths of her husband and child? They can die, as long as you have what you want?"

Snape said nothing, but merely looked up at Dumbledore.

"Hide them all, then," he croaked. "Keep her- them- safe. Please."

"And what will you give me in return, Severus?"

"In- in return?" Snape gaped at Dumbledore, and I expected him to protest, but after a long moment he said, "Anything."

The hilltop faded, and I stood in Dumbledore's office, and something was making a terrible sound, like a wounded animal. Snape was sliumped forward in a chair and Dumbledore was standing over him, looking grim. After a moment or two, Snape reaised his face, and he looked like a man who had lived a hundred years of misery, since leaving the wild hilltop.

"I thought… you were going… to keep her… safe…"

"She and James put their faith in the wrong person," said Dumbledore. "Rather like you, Severus. Weren't you hoping that Lord Voldemort would spare her?"

Snape's breathing was shallow.

"Her girl survives," said Dumbledore.

With a tiny jerk of the head, Sanpe seemed to flick off an irksome fly.

"Her daughter lives. She looked just like Lily. She has precisely her eyes, You remember the shape and color of Lily Evan's eyes, I am sure?"

"DON'T!" bellowed Snape. "Gone… dead…"

"Is this remorse, Severus?"

"I wish… I wish _I_ were dead…"

"And what use would that be to anyone?" said Dumbledore coldly. "If you loved Lily Evans, if you truly loved her, then your way forward is clear."

Snape seemed to peer through a haze of pain, and Dumbledore's words appeared to take a long time to reach him.

"What- what do you mean?"

You know how and why she died. Make sure it was not in vain. Help me protect Lily's daughter."

"She does not need protection. The Dark Lord has gone-"

"The Dark Lord will return, and Alyssa Potter will be in terrible danger when he does."

There was a long pause, and slowly Snape regained control of himself, mastered his own breathing. At last he said, "Very well. Very well. But never- never tell, Dumbledore! This must be between us! Swear it! I cannot bear…escpecially Potter's daughter…I want your word!"

"My word, Severus, that I shall never reveal the best of you?" Dumbledore sighed, looking down into Snape's ferocious, anguished face. "If you insist…"

The office dissolved and reformed. Dumbledore sagged sideways in the thronlike chaire behind the desk. Snape was muttering incantations, pointing his wand at Dumbledore's wrist.

"Why," said Snape, without preamble, "_Why_ did you put on that ring? It carries a curse, surely you realized that, Why even touch it?"

Marvolo Gaunt's ring lay on the desk before Dumbledore. It was cracked; the sword of Gryffindor lay beside it.

Dumbledore grimaced.

"I…was a fool."

"It is a miracle you managed to return here!" Snape sounded furious. "That ring carried a curse of extraordinary power, to conatin is allwe can hope fore; I have trapped the curse in one hand for the time being-"

"How long do you think I have left?"

Dumbledore's tone was conversational; he might have been asking for a weather forecast. Snape hesitated, and then said, "I cannot tell. Maybe a year."

Dumbledore smiled. The news that he had less than a year to live seemed a matter of little or no concern to him.

"Well, really, this makes matters much more straightforward."

Snape looked utterly perplexed. Dumbledore smiled.

"I refer to the plan Lord Voldemort is revolving around me. His plan to have you murder me. Lord Voldemort foresees a moment in the near future when he will not need a spy at Hogwarts?"

"He believes the school will soon be in his grasp, yes."

"And if it does fall into his grasp," said Dumbledore, almost, it seemed, as an aside, "I have your word that you will do all in your power to protect the students of Hogwarts?"

Snape gave a stiff nod.

"Good. Now then. You must kill me."

There was a long silence.

"Would you like me to do it now?" asked Snape, his voice heavy with irony. "Or would you like a few moments to compose an epitaph?"

"Oh, not quite yet," said Dumbledore, smiling. "I daresay the moment will present itself in due course. Given what has happened tonight, we can be sure that it will happen within a year."

"You want me to murder you?" said Snape roughly.

"You alone know whether it is murder to help an old man avoid pain and humiliation," said Dumbledore. I ask this one great favor of you, Severus."

At last Snape gave a curt nod, and Dumbledore seemed satisfied.

"Thank you, Severus…"

I was back in Snape's present office. I turned around to face him, my mind swimming as I tried to gather all my thoughts. Snape hadn't murdered Dumbledore, and he had actually loved my mother. He had devoted his life to protecting _me_. Even though I knew Snape only cared about my mother and didn't give a crap about me, I still as if a heavy load had just been taken off my shoulders.

"Do I have your trust?" said Snape. I looked up at him and could tell that he was trying to read my expression. I forced my face to look blank as I nodded. The awkward silence pressed on my ears, and without anything better to say, I stammered, "I- I already you about you and Lily."

"How?" said Snape, taken off guard.

I realized that what I had just said was extremely stupid. I did not want Snape to ever find out that I was his daughter, and therefore I didn't want to have to mention the diary, but I didn't really have a choice now, unless I lied. I supposed that I could just tell the truth up until a point.

"I went to Godric's Hollow a couple days ago, and I found my mother's old diary in the ruins of our house," I said.

"What did she say about me?" asked Snape quietly, his face eager.

I just shrugged. "I don't really remember," I lied. Seeing the look of anguish of his face, I added, "Sorry."

"Where is the diary?"

With a jolt, I realized that the diary was still in my pouch. I didn't like the thought of Snape being so close to the diary. It felt very dangerous, him being so close to the object that held my darkest secret that I never wanted anyone to find out about.

"I don't have it with me," I said a little too quickly. "I left it in the woods where we were hiding out."

"How could you be so careless with such a thing?" snarled Snape, his eyes furious.

"She wouldn't have wanted you to read it," I snapped back.

"And what makes you think Lily would have wanted _you_ to read her diary," said Snape, his words like ice.

"I'm her daughter!" I cried.

Snape and I glared at each other from across the room. It felt so much like old times; it was as if I was at one my Occlumency lessons right now.

Snape sighed and brushed his hand through his long hair to calm himself down.

"This is not why I brought you here," he said finally. "We don't have much time. There is something else I need to show you. It is of dire importance."

Again he pointed his wand at his temple and withdrew another memory and placed it into the Pensieve. I took one last look at Snape before diving in again, but I couldn't decipher his expression.

I was back in Dumbledore's office. Dumbledore was walking around Snape, talking.

"Alyssa must not know, not until the last moment, not until it is necessary, otherwise how could she have the strength to do what must be done?"

"But what must she do?"

"That is between Alyssa and me. Now listen closely, Severus. There will come a time- after my death- do not argue, do not interrupt! There will come a time when Lord Voldemort will seem to fear for the life of his snake."

"For Nagini?" Snape looked astonished.

"Precisely. If there comes a time when Lord Voldemort stops sending that snake forth to do his bidding, but keeps it safe beside him under magical protection, then, I think, it will be safe to tell Alyssa."

"Tell her what?"

Dumbledore too a deep breath and closed his eyes.

"Tell her that on the night Lord Voldemort tried to kill her, the Killing Curse rebounded upon Lord Voldemort, and a fragment of Voldemort's soul was blasted apart form the whole, and latched itself onto the only living soul left in that collapsing building. Part of Lord Voldemort lives inside Alyssa, and it is that which gives her the power of speech with snakes, and a connection with Lord Voldemort's mind that she has never understood. And while that fragment of soul, unmissed by Voldemort, remains attached to and protected by Alyssa, Lord Voldemort cannot die."

I seemed to be watching the two men from one end of a long tunnel, they were so far away from me, their voices echoing strangely in my ears.

"So the girl…the girl must die?" asked Snape quite calmly.

"And Voldemort himself must do it, Severus. That is essential."

Another long silence. Then Snape said, "I thought… all these years… that we were protecting her for Lily."

"We have protected her because it has been essential to teach her, to raise her, to let her try her strength," said Dumbledore, his eyes still tight shut. "If I know her, she will have arranged matters so that when she does set out to meet her death, it will truly mean the end of Voldemort."

Dumbledore opened his eyes. Snape looked horrified.

"You have kept her alive so that she can die at the right moment?"

"Don't be so shocked, Severus. How many men and women have you watched die?"

"Lately, only those whom I could not save," said Snape. He stood up. "You have used me."

"Meaning?"

"I have spied for you and lied for you, put myself in mortal danger for you. everything was supposed to be to keep Lily Potter's daughter safe. Now you tell me you have been raising her like a pig for slaughter-"

"But this is touching, Severus," said Dumbledore seriously. "Have you grown to care for the girl, after all?"

For _her_?" shouted Snape. "_Expecto_ _Patronum_!"

From the tip of his wand burst the silver doe: She landed on the office floor, bounded once across the office, and soard out of the window. Dumbledore watched her fly away, and as her silvery glow faded he turned back to Snape, and his eyes were full of tears.

"After all this time?"

"Always," said Snape.

I emmerged from the Pensieve. Staring at the carpet of the office where I had once thought I was learning the secrets of victory, I underestood at last that I was not supposed to survive. I felt my heart pounding fiercely in my chest, but it would have to stop soon.

Slowly, very slowly, I turned to face Snape again. He didn't say anything. Like before, his expression was unreadable, but I could still see the usual trace of coldness in his eyes. I opened my mouth to speak, but my voice caught in my throat. Finally, I managed in a barely audible whisper, "I suppose I'll get going now. Like you said, there's not much time left."

I walked to the door, my legs trembling. When I reached for the handle, Snape spoke.

"Potter, please, tell me which forest you were hiding out in so that I can retrieve the diary after- after this is all over."

I stared incredulously at Snape. I was about to sacrafice myself, and all he could think about was getting his hands on Lily's precious diary. He couldn't give a crap about me!

I thrust my hand into the pouch, not caring if I cut myself on the sword, and yanked out the diary.

"Here's the goddamn diary," I said, throwing it at him. Snape barely managed to catch it in his shock. He held it as if it was the most sacred thing on Earth.

"You can read it," I said harshly, "but trust me, you'll regret it." Snape looked at me only for a moment before returning his gaze to the diary.

"There's something else I want to say," I said, anger at Snape's indifference now boiling through me. I waited for Snape to tear his eyes away from the diary, which seemed to take him much effort. When his cold eyes were finally on me, I continued, my voice edged with derision.

"I always thought that you just hated me so much because you hated James. Now I realize that you also hate me because you blame me for Lily's death. If she hadn't felt the need to defend me, she would still be alive. And I am also a constant reminder that Lily chose James, not you. But for whatever reasons you think you hate me, it's not actually possible for you to hate me at all, because you have no idea who I am. You look at me and you see James and Lily, not me. And I am going to be dead in a few minutes, so I suppose that is something you will never know."

I turned to leave again but stopped before turning the handle. I had something else to say.

"Oh, and one more thing. You've always told me how much I resemble James. In truth, I am not like James at all, but I wish I was."

With that I left the office, closing the door firmly behind me. Snape probably had no idea what I meant by my last comment, but he would figure it out soon enough.


	16. My Last Breath

**A/N: Hey everyone! I changed around the last couple of chapters so the beginning of this chapter actually used to be the end of the previous chapter. Sorry that this update is so short, but hopefully I'll be updating again soon. Thanks for all the encouraging reviews! They motivate me to write faster so please review this chapter :) **

I was back in Snape's present office. I turned around to face him, my mind swimming as I tried to gather all my thoughts. Snape hadn't murdered Dumbledore, and he had actually loved my mother. He had devoted his life to protecting _me_. Even though I knew Snape only cared about my mother and didn't give a crap about me, I still as if a heavy load had just been taken off my shoulders.

"Do I have your trust?" said Snape. I looked up at him and could tell that he was trying to read my expression. I forced my face to look blank as I nodded. The awkward silence pressed on my ears, and without anything better to say, I stammered, "I- I already you about you and Lily."

"How?" said Snape, taken off guard.

I realized that what I had just said was extremely stupid. I did not want Snape to ever find out that I was his daughter, and therefore I didn't want to have to mention the diary, but I didn't really have a choice now, unless I lied. I supposed that I could just tell the truth up until a point.

"I went to Godric's Hollow a couple days ago, and I found my mother's old diary in the ruins of our house," I said.

"What did she say about me?" asked Snape quietly, his face eager.

I just shrugged. "I don't really remember," I lied. Seeing the look of anguish of his face, I added, "Sorry."

"Where is the diary?"

With a jolt, I realized that the diary was still in my pouch. I didn't like the thought of Snape being so close to the diary. It felt very dangerous, him being so close to the object that held my darkest secret that I never wanted anyone to find out about.

"I don't have it with me," I said a little too quickly. "I left it in the woods where we were hiding out."

"How could you be so careless with such a thing?" snarled Snape, his eyes furious.

"She wouldn't have wanted you to read it," I snapped back.

"And what makes you think Lily would have wanted _you_ to read her diary," said Snape, his words like ice.

"I'm her daughter!" I cried.

Snape and I glared at each other from across the room. It felt so much like old times; it was as if I was at one my Occlumency lessons right now.

Snape sighed and brushed his hand through his long hair to calm himself down.

"This is not why I brought you here," he said finally. "We don't have much time. There is something else I need to show you. It is of dire importance."

Again he pointed his wand at his temple and withdrew another memory and placed it into the Pensieve. I took one last look at Snape before diving in again, but I couldn't decipher his expression.

I was back in Dumbledore's office. Dumbledore was walking around Snape, talking.

"Alyssa must not know, not until the last moment, not until it is necessary, otherwise how could she have the strength to do what must be done?"

"But what must she do?"

"That is between Alyssa and me. Now listen closely, Severus. There will come a time- after my death- do not argue, do not interrupt! There will come a time when Lord Voldemort will seem to fear for the life of his snake."

"For Nagini?" Snape looked astonished.

"Precisely. If there comes a time when Lord Voldemort stops sending that snake forth to do his bidding, but keeps it safe beside him under magical protection, then, I think, it will be safe to tell Alyssa."

"Tell her what?"

Dumbledore took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

"Tell her that on the night Lord Voldemort tried to kill her, the Killing Curse rebounded upon Lord Voldemort, and a fragment of Voldemort's soul was blasted apart from the whole, and latched itself onto the only living soul left in that collapsing building. Part of Lord Voldemort lives inside Alyssa, and it is that which gives her the power of speech with snakes, and a connection with Lord Voldemort's mind that she has never understood. And while that fragment of soul, unmissed by Voldemort, remains attached to and protected by Alyssa, Lord Voldemort cannot die."

I seemed to be watching the two men from one end of a long tunnel; they were so far away from me, their voices echoing strangely in my ears.

"So the girl…the girl must die?" asked Snape quite calmly.

"And Voldemort himself must do it, Severus. That is essential."

Another long silence. Then Snape said, "I thought… all these years… that we were protecting her for Lily."

"We have protected her because it has been essential to teach her, to raise her, to let her try her strength," said Dumbledore, his eyes still tight shut. "If I know her, she will have arranged matters so that when she does set out to meet her death, it will truly mean the end of Voldemort."

Dumbledore opened his eyes. Snape looked horrified.

"You have kept her alive so that she can die at the right moment?"

"Don't be so shocked, Severus. How many men and women have you watched die?"

"Lately, only those whom I could not save," said Snape. He stood up. "You have used me."

"Meaning?"

"I have spied for you and lied for you, put myself in mortal danger for you. Everything was supposed to be to keep Lily Potter's daughter safe. Now you tell me you have been raising her like a pig for slaughter-"

"But this is touching, Severus," said Dumbledore seriously. "Have you grown to care for the girl, after all?"

For _her_?" shouted Snape. "_Expecto_ _Patronum_!"

From the tip of his wand burst the silver doe: She landed on the office floor, bounded once across the office, and soared out of the window. Dumbledore watched her fly away, and as her silvery glow faded he turned back to Snape, and his eyes were full of tears.

"After all this time?"

"Always," said Snape.

I emerged from the Pensieve. Staring at the carpet of the office where I had once thought I was learning the secrets of victory, I understood at last that I was not supposed to survive. I felt my heart pounding fiercely in my chest, but it would have to stop soon.

Slowly, very slowly, I turned to face Snape again. He didn't say anything. Like before, his expression was unreadable, but I could still see the usual trace of coldness in his eyes. I opened my mouth to speak, but my voice caught in my throat. Finally, I managed in a barely audible whisper, "I suppose I'll get going now. Like you said, there's not much time left."

I walked to the door, my legs trembling. When I reached for the handle, Snape spoke.

"Potter, please, tell me which forest you were hiding out in so that I can retrieve the diary after- after this is all over."

I stared incredulously at Snape. I was about to sacrifice myself, and all he could think about was getting his hands on Lily's precious diary. He couldn't give a crap about me!

I thrust my hand into the pouch, not caring if I cut myself on the sword, and yanked out the diary.

"Here's the goddamn diary," I said, throwing it at him. Snape barely managed to catch it in his shock. He held it as if it was the most sacred thing on Earth.

"You can read it," I said harshly, "but trust me, you'll regret it." Snape looked at me only for a moment before returning his gaze to the diary.

"There's something else I want to say," I said, anger at Snape's indifference now boiling through me. I waited for Snape to tear his eyes away from the diary, which seemed to take him much effort. When his cold eyes were finally on me, I continued, my voice edged with derision.

"I always thought that you just hated me so much because you hated James. Now I realize that you also hate me because you blame me for Lily's death. If she hadn't felt the need to defend me, she would still be alive. And I am also a constant reminder that Lily chose James, not you. But for whatever reasons you think you hate me, it's not actually possible for you to hate me at all, because you have no idea who I am. You look at me and you see James and Lily, not me. And I am going to be dead in a few minutes, so I suppose that is something you will never know."

I turned to leave again but stopped before turning the handle. I had something else to say.

"Oh, and one more thing. You've always told me how much I resemble James. In truth, I am not like James at all, but I wish I was."

With that I left the office, closing the door firmly behind me. Snape probably had no idea what I meant by my last comment, but he would figure it out soon enough.

My outburst at Snape had momentarily distracted me from what lay ahead, but now terror washed over me. Would it hurt to die? I felt my fingers trembling slightly and made an effort to control them.

I reached into my pouch, pulled out the Invisibility Cloak, and threw it over myself. Very slowly, I began the walk to the forest. I looked at a clock overhead, and I saw that I still had a half an hour, but it would be best to get it over with soon before my courage failed.

Dumbledore's betrayal was almost nothing. Of course there had been a bigger plan; I had simply been too foolish to see it. And Dumbledore had known that I would not duck out, that I would keep going to the end, even though it was _my_ end.

But Dumbledore had overestimated me. I had failed: The snake survived. Ron and Hermione knew what needed to be done. That would have been why Dumbledore wanted me to confide in two others… so that if I fulfilled my true destiny a little early, they could carry on.

What hurt more was Snape's apathy, but how could I blame him? He had no idea that I was his daughter, and he had protected me all these years, and that counted for something, didn't it? I almost felt guilty about the way I had left things with him.

The castle was empty. I felt ghostly striding through it alone, as if I had already died.

I was walking down another deserted corridor, when I saw someone in the distance, slumped against the wall. Although I could not see his face, I knew who it was by his fair skin and blonde hair.

As I neared Malfoy, he stood up straight and looked around. He must have heard my footsteps. When I was just a few feet away I took off my Cloak and put it in the pouch. Malfoy saw me and gave a start.

"Jeez Potter, how do you always just turn up out of nowhere?"

"What are you doing here, Malfoy?" I asked, ignoring his question.

Malfoy ran his hand through his hair, staring around awkwardly. "I, uh, I snuck back into the castle when I heard you were here. I had to see you."

"Why?" I said, staring up into his pale blue eyes.

"I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since you turned up in my bedroom. I never thought I'd say this, but I like you, Potter. A lot."

"Whose side are you on then?" I asked.

"Yours, of course," said Malfoy immediately. "You must know that. I mean, I never told anyone about you going into Gringotts impersonating Bellatrix."

"So you would fight Death Eaters for me?" I said, trying not to smile.

"Yes," said Malfoy firmly. "Well, not my parents, but any other Death Eater. I'd kill You-Know-Who for you if I had that chance."

That was all I needed to hear. I knew how I wanted to spend my last moments of life. I leaned up and kissed Malfoy passionately, wrapping my arms around his neck. Malfoy returned the kiss eagerly, his hands on my waist.

Eventually I pulled away. I took his hand and led him to the nearest classroom. It was dark and empty. I closed the door behind us.

I stood with my back to the wall. Malfoy placed his hands on the wall on either side of my head and leaned down and kissed me gently. My lips parted and his tongue explored the inside of my mouth. I reached down and slipped my hands under his shirt and traced the planes of his muscular chest.

Malfoy lips parted from mine and I opened my eyes. He was pulling off his shirt and I quickly followed suit. I felt his bare chest pressed against me and I let his taste and touch fill my whole body, pushing everything out of my mind.

I didn't know how much time had passed, but I knew that I had little to spare. I reached one of my hands down to Malfoy's fly and started to unzip it, but Malfoy's hand caught my wrist before I managed to pull his pants down.

I looked up at Malfoy, his eyes boring into mine.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he whispered.

I nodded.

* * *

I was lying on the cold cement floor beside Malfoy, wishing I could stay there forever, but I knew that I had little time left, so I reluctantly sat up. I grabbed my bra and panties and put them on. I stood up and went over to where the rest of my clothes were lying. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Malfoy sitting up and pulling on his boxers.

When we were both fully dressed, we turned to face each other. Malfoy grinned sheepishly.

"Er, I guess we should go back to where everyone else is," he said. "The battle's going to be starting again soon."

"There's actually something I need to do…alone," I said, not looking Malfoy in the eye.

"Potter!" said Malfoy, looking suddenly scared."Potter, you're not thinking of handing yourself over?"

"No, of course not," I said, attempting to smile. "There's something I have to do that's part of the plan. Since I'm going to be busy, can you do me a huge favor and give this to Ron and Hermione?" I said, taking the sword out of the pouch.

Malfoy's eyes widened when he saw the ruby encrusted sword. I handed it to him.

"Okay, see you later," I said, my voice cracking. I turned to go before Malfoy could see the tears brimming at my eyes, but he seized my wrist.

"We're all going to keep fighting, Potter. You know that?"

"Yeah, I-"

The suffocating feeling extinguished the end of the sentence; I could not go on. I leaned up and kissed Malfoy on the mouth quickly. I then hurried of the room and pulled the Cloak over me. I heard Malfoy run out of the room and call my name, but I did not turn back.

When I passed by the open doors of the Great Hall, I could not help but pause. I could see through my teary eyes Ron, Hermione, and Sirius, but they all seemed a long way away. I felt as though I had parted from them long ago.

I walked on and pushed open the front doors. I stepped out into the darkness. The deathly stillness of the grounds felt as though they were holding their breath, waiting to see whether I could do what I must.

When I reached the edge of the forest, I stopped to take a deep breath in an attempt to control my trembling, and then continued on. I clutched the Cloak tightly around me in the darkness, traveling deeper and deeper into the forest, with no idea exactly where Voldemort was, but sure that I would find him.

I heard a thud and a whisper. I stopped, peering around, listening.

"Time's nearly up. Potter's had her hour. She's not coming," said a Death Eater.

"Better go back," said another. "Find out what the plan is now."

The two Death Eaters turned and walked deeper into the forest. I followed them, knowing that they would lead me exactly where I wanted to go.

We had traveled on mere minutes when I saw light ahead, and the Death Eaters stepped out into a clearing, where Voldemort was standing surrounded by his Death Eaters. All of them were silent.

"There is no sign of Potter," said one of the Death Eaters that I had been following.

"I was sure that she would come," said Voldemort, his voice barely audible. "I was mistaken."

"You weren't," I said loudly, pulling off the Cloak. Voldemort looked me in the eye, cocking his head to one side, as if examining me. I hoped that he wouldn't drag things out, because I didn't know how much longer I could keep up my façade of courage.

Voldemort raised his wand and cried, "_Avada_ _Kedavra_!"


	17. Bring Me To Life

I saw a bright flash of green light as my body was thrown threw the air, and I landed with a thud on the ground. I could hear my heavy breathing. This couldn't be right; I was still alive- or so I thought.

I slowly opened my eyes and saw that all the Death Eaters were surrounding something on the ground. I could hear Bellatrix murmuring, "My Lord..._my Lord_..."

"That will do," said Voldemort. I quickly closed my eyes at the sound of his voice. I could hear footsteps. Deperate to see what was happening, I opened my eyes again by a millimeter.

Voldemort seemed to be getting to his feet, and the Death Eaters were hurrying back to their original spots. I closed my eyes, considering what I had just seen. It appeared that Voldemort too had been knocked to the ground.

"The girl...Is she dead?"

I could feel all eyes on me and I willed by body to keep completely still.

"You," said Voldemort. "Examine her. Tell me whether she is dead."

I did not know who had been sent. I could only lie there, with my hear pumping traitorously, and wait to be examined.

Hands, softer than I had been expecting, touched my face, crept beneath my shirt, down to my chest, and felt my heart. I could hear the woman's fast breathing, her long hair tickled my face. I knew that she could feel the steady pounding of life against my ribs.

"_Is Draco alive? Is he in the castle?"_

The whisper was barely audible; her lips were an inch from my ear, her head bent so low that her long hair shielded my face from the onlookers.

"_Yes_," I breathed back.

Her hand withdrew and she sat up.

"She is dead!" Narcissa Malfoy called to the watchers.

And now they shouted, now they yelled in triumph and stamped their feet, and through my eyelids, I saw bursts of red and silver light shoot into the air in celebration.

"You see?" screeched Voldemort over the tumult. "Alyssa Potter is dead by my hand, and no person alive can threaten me now! Watch! _Crucio_!"

I was lifted into the air, and it took all my determination to remain limp, yet the pain I expected did not come. What was going on?

I was thrown once, twice, three times into the air, and when I fell to the ground for the last time, the clearing echoed with jeers and shrieks of laughter.

"Now," said Voldemort, "we go to the castle, and show them what has become of their hero." Voldemort looked around at his Death Eaters.

"Someone's missing," said Voldemort. "Where is Severus?" None of the Death Eaters responded. "Well, he will regret having missed this." The Death Eaters all laughed. Voldemort directed his attention at the largest of the Death Eaters. "Dolohov, you carry the body."

Rough, harsh hands picked me up. As we made our way through the forest back to the castle, my mind was racing. Why was I still alive? Why did the Crucio curse not work on me? The Elder Wand seemed to be incapable of effecting me. Voldemort had taken it from Dumbledore's grave, but perhaps he was not the true master of the Elder Wand since he had not killed Dumbledore. Did that mean Snape was the true master? Would the Elder Wand refuse to harm its master's daughter? No, that couldn't be right...

There had to be a logical explanation. I thought back to the night Dumbledore died. When Snape had killed Dumbledore, Dumbledore had already been wandless. Umbridge had taken it from him. Umbridge was the master of the Elder Wand! But I had disarmed Umbridge earlier this night. Did that make me the master?

Suddenly, it all made sense. My own wand wouldn't kill me or harm me. The Elder Wand belonged to me!

I sensed, by a freshening of the air, that we had reached the edge of the forest.

"Stop," commanded Voldemort.

Someone passed close by me, and I knew that it was Voldemort himself because he spoke a moment later, his voice magically magnified so that it swelled through the grounds, crashing upon my eardrums.

"Alyssa Potter is dead. She was killed as she ran away, trying to save herself while you lay down your lives for her. We bring you her body as proof that your hero is gone.

"The battle is won. You have lost half of your fighters. My Death Eaters outnumber you, and the Girl Who Lived is finished. There must be no more war. Anyone who continues to resist, man, woman, or child, will be slaughtered, as will every member of their family. Come out of the castle now, kneel before me, and you shall be spared. Your parents and children, your brothers and sisters will live and be forgiven, and you will join me in the new world we shall build together."

There was silence in the grounds and from the castle. Voldemort was so close to me that I did not dare open my eyes again.

"Come," said Voldemort, and I heard him move ahead as the Death Eaters followed. Now I opened my eyes a fraction, and saw Voldemort striding in front of them, wearing the great snake Nagini around his shoulders, now free of her enchanted cage. But I had no possibility of extracting my wand without being noticed by the Death Eater who was carrying me.

I heard the Death Eaters spreading out in a line facing the open front doors of the school. I waited. Any moment, the people for whom I had tried to die would see me, lying apparently dead, in Dolohov's arms.

"NO!"

The scream was the more terrible because I had never expected or dreamed that Professor McGonagall could make such a sound. I heard another woman laughing nearby, and knew that Bellatrix gloried in McGonagall's despair. I squinted again for a single second and saw the open doorway filling with people, as the survivors of the battle came out onto the front steps to face their vanquishers and see the truth of my death for themselves.

"No!"

"_No!_"

"Alyssa! ALYSSA!"

Sirius', Ron's, and Hermione's voices were worse that McGonagall's. I wanted nothing more than to call back, yet I made myself lie silent, and their cries acted like a trigger; the crowd of survivors took up the cause, screaming and yelling abuse that the Death Eaters, until-

"SILENCE!" cried Voldemort, and there was a bang and a flash of bright light, and silence was forced upon them all. "It's over! Set her down, Dolohov, at my feet, where she belongs!"

I was dropped onto the grass with a thud.

"You see?" said Voldemort. "Alyssa Potter is dead! Do you understand now, deluded ones? She was nothing, ever, but a little girl who relied on others to sacrifice themselves for her!"

"She beat you!" yelled Ron, and the charm broke, and the defenders of Hogwarts were shouting and screaming again until a second, more powerful bang extinguished their voices once more.

"She was killed while trying to sneak out of the castle grounds," said Voldemort, and there was relish in his voice for the lie, "killed while trying to save herself-"

"LIAR!"

I opened my eyes an infinitesimal amount to see that Malfoy had pushed himself to the front of the crowd. Bellatrix gasped in shock.

"Draco," she hissed. "Come to the side where you belong."

"NEVER!"

"_You little traitor_!" screeched Bellatrix, drawing her wand.

"Draco!" called Lucius.

"Come here!" Narcissa pleaded.

"Quiet!" shouted Voldemort. "I see you have have chosen not to follow the way of your parents," he said to Draco in a quiet, deadly voice. He then turned to Narcissa and hissed, "You should be ashamed of your son," and with a bang, she was knocked to the ground.

Voldemort stepped over me to move closer to Malfoy.

All eyes were on the two of them, and Voldemort's body somewhat hid me from view. If I was going to act, now was the time. As swiftly as I could, I pulled the Invisibility Cloak out of my pouch and draped it over myself while still lying down.

"You'll not hurt anyone else that I love!" cried Malfoy and he drew out the Gryffindor sword, which he had been hiding behind his back, and slashed at the air aiming for Voldemort. He missed Voldemort, but the sword pierced through Nagini's neck.

Voldemort's mouth opened in a scream of fury as the snake's body thudded to the ground at his feet. Before Voldemort had the chance to raise his wand, a man's voice shouted, "_Protego!_" and a shield was cast between Malfoy and Voldemort. Everyone looked towards the source of the voice who issued the Shield Charm.

Snape was standing at the top of the steps leading up to the castle. He looked menacing, glaring down at Voldemort with his black cloak billowing behind him in the wind. There were gasps of shock from both the Death Eaters and my supporters.

Voldemort opened his mouth to say something, but he was drowned out by Hagrid, who was screaming, "ALYSSA! ALYSSA- WHERE'S ALYSSA?"

Everyone shouted, and jinxes started flying everywhere. I stood up and sped between duelers in order to get to Voldemort, who was in the center of the battle, and he was striking and smiting all within reach. I could not get a clear shot, but fought my way nearer, still invisible.

I saw Yaxley slammed onto the grass by George and Lee Jordan, saw Dolohov fall with a scream at Flitwick's hands, saw Macnair thrown several yards by Hagrid, hit the wall of the castle, and slide unconscious to the ground. I saw Ron and Neville bringing down Fenrir Greyback, Arthur stunning Rookwood, and Lucius and Narcissa running through the crowd, not even attempting to fight, screaming for their son, whom I also could not find.

Voldemort was now dueling with Sirius, McGonagall, and Snape, and there was cold hatred in his face as they wove and ducked around him, unable to finish him-

Bellatrix was still fighting too, fifty yards away from Voldemort, dueling against Mrs. Weasley. Hundred of people now stood watching the two fights, Voldemort and his three opponents, Bellatrix and Molly, and I stood, invisible, torn between both, wanting to attack and yet to protect, unable to be sure that I would not hit the innocent.

"What will happen to your children when I've killed you?" taunted Bellatrix, as mad as her master, capering as Molly's curses danced around her.

"You- will- never- touch- our- children!" screamed Mrs. Weasley.

Molly's curse soared beneath Bellatrix's outstretched arm and hit her squarely in the chest, directly over her heart.

Bellatrix's gloating smile froze, her eyes seemed to bulge: For the tiniest space of time she knew what had happened, and then she toppled, and the watching crowd roared, and Voldemort screamed.

I felt as though I turned in slow motion; I saw Sirius, McGonagall, and Snape blasted backward, flailing and writhing through the air, as Voldemort's fury at the fall of his last, best lieutenant exploded with the force of a bomb. Voldemort raised his wand and directed it at Molly Weasley.

"_Protego!_" I roared, and the Shield Charm expanded in between Voldemort and Molly. Voldemort stared around for the source as I pulled off the Invisibility Cloak at last.

The yell of shock, the cheers, the screams on every side of "Alyssa!" "SHE'S ALIVE!" were stifled at once. The crowd was afraid, and silence fell abruptly and completely as Voldemort and I looked at each other, and began, at the same moment, to circle each other.

"I don't want anyone else to try to help," I said loudly, and in the total silence my voice carried like a trumpet call. "It's got to be like this. It's got to be me."

Voldemort hissed.

"Potter doesn't mean that," he said, his red eyes wide. "That isn't how she works, is it? Who are you going to use as a shield today, Potter?"

"Nobody," I said simply. "There are no more Horcruxes. It's just you and me. Neither can live while the other survives, and one of us is about to leave for good..."

"One of us?" jeered Voldemort, and his whole body was taut and his red eyes started, a snake that was about to strike. "You think it will be you, do you, the girl who has survived by accident, and because Dumbledore was pulling the strings? You, who have crouched and sniveled behind the skirts of greater men and women, and permitted me to kill them for you?"

"You won't be killing anyone else tonight," I said as we circled, and stared into each others eyes, green into red. "You won't be able to kill any of them ever again. Don't you get it? I was ready to die to stop you from hurting these people-"

"But you did not!"

"- I meant to, and that's what did it. I've done what my mother did. They're protected from you. Haven't you noticed how none of the spells you put on them are binding? You can't torture them. You can't touch them. You don't learn from your mistakes, Riddle, do you?"

"_You dare_-"

"Yes, I dare," I said. "I know things you don't, Tom Riddle."

"Is it love again?" jeered Voldemort. "Dumbledore's favorite solution, _love_, which he claimed conquered death. But nobody seems to love you enough to run forward this time and take my curse. So what will stop you dying now when I strike?"

"Just one thing," I said, and still we circled each other, wrapped in each other, held apart by nothing but the last secret.

"If it is not love that will save you this time," said Voldemort, "you must believe you have a weapon more powerful than mine?"

"Yes," I said, and I saw shock flit across the snakelike face, though it was instantly dispelled; Voldemort began to laugh, and the sound was more frightening than his screams; humorless and insane, it echoed around the grounds.

"I know you have the Elder Wand," I said calmly. "But I also know that the wand is not working properly for you. You stole it from Dumbledore's grave, but the Elder Wand recognized a new master before Dumbledore died. The new master removed the wand from Dumbledore against his will. The true master of the Elder Wand was Dolores Umbridge."

Blank shock showed in Voldemort's face for a moment, but then it was gone.

"But what does it matter?" he said softly. "Even if you are right, Potter, it makes no difference to you and me. We duel on skill alone... and after I have killed you, I can attend to Dolores Umbridge..."

"But you're too late," I said. "You've missed your chance. I got there first. I overpowered Umbridge earlier tonight. I Disarmed her. So it all comes down to this, doesn't it? Does the wand in your hand know its last master was Disarmed? Because if it does... I am the true master of the Elder Wand."

A red-gold glow burst suddenly across the sky as the sun rose. The light hit both of our faces at the same time, so that Voldemort's was suddenly a flaming blur. I heard the high voice shriek as I too yelled my best hope to the heavens, pointing my wand:

"_Avada Kedavra!_"

"_Expelliarmus!_"

The bang was like a cannon blast, and the golden flames that erupted between us, at the dead center of the circle we had been treading, marked the point where the spells collided. I saw Voldemort's green jet meet my own spell, saw the Elder Wand fly high, dark against the sunrise, spinning through the air toward me. And I, with the unerring skill of the Seeker, caught the wand in my free hand as Voldemort fell backward, arms splayed, the slit pupils of the scarlet eyes rolling upward. Tom Riddle hit the ground with a mundane finality, his body feeble and shrunken, the white hands empty, the snakelike face vacant and unknowing. Voldemort was dead, killed by his own rebounding curse, and I stood with two wands in my hand, staring at my enemy's shell.

One shivering second of silence, the shock of the moment suspended: and the tumult broke around me as the screams and the cheers and the roars of the watchers rent the air. The first to reach me were Ron and Hermione, and it was their arms that were wrapped around me, their incomprehensible shouts that deafened me. Then Neville and Luna were there, and then all the Weasleys and Sirius, and Hagrid and McGonagall and Flitwick and Sprout, and I could not hear a word that anyone was shouting, nor tell whose hands were seizing me, pulling me, trying to hug some part of me, hundreds of them pressing in, all of them determined to touch me.

I was pushed along with the crowd as everyone entered the castle and filled the Great Hall. McGonagall had replaced the House tables, but nobody was sitting according to House anymore. After a while, exhausted and drained, I found myself sitting on a bench beside Luna.

"I'd want some peace and quiet, if it were me," she said.

"I'd love some," I replied.

"I'll distract them all," she said. "Use your Cloak."

And before I could say a word she had cried, "Oooh, look, a Blibbering Humdinger!" and pointed out of the window. Everyone who had heard looked around, and I slid the Cloak up over myself, and got to my feet.

Now I could move through the hall without interference. Along the aisle between the tables I walked, and I spotted the three Malfoys, huddled together. I hadn't spoken to Draco yet, but there would be plenty of time for that later.

I left the Great Hall. Great chunks were missing from the marble staircase, part of the balustrade gone, and rubble and bloodstains were everywhere.

I walked outside and sat down on the bottom step, taking in the fresh air. I shrugged off the Cloak. I pulled my knees close to my chest and rested my head against them.

I had defeated Voldemort, but I didn't feel light and airy like I thought I would; there was still something weighing me down. When I first started on this mission, I had thought that if I managed to kill Voldemort, my life would be perfect. But that was not the case anymore. There was Snape.

I now regretted more than anything giving Snape the diary. Why, oh why, did I have to be so rash? Would he tell people that I was his daughter? Would he want to be a part of my life or would he want to completely disassociate from me? I hoped the latter.

I picked up my head and stared out at the barren grounds, but they weren't as barren as I had thought. There was a dark figure in the near distance and at that moment he turned and our eyes met.

I felt the pit of my stomach squirm. It was Snape. My body felt frozen, but I managed to stand up. He walked toward me. Part of me wanted to run into the castle, but I forced myself to stay put. After all, I had just killed Voldemort. How much more difficult could talking to my father be?

Snape stopped walking when he stood about five feet in front of me. We stared at each other awkwardly.

"Did you read the diary?" I asked quietly.

"Yes, I did," he said looking straight at me. "Alyssa, I'm so sorry. For the way I acted. You have to understand-"

"I do understand," I said. "Believe me, I do. And you should know that I really appreciate that you protected me these past two years. I know how hard that must have been for you seeing as you hated me-"

"Alyssa, I-"

"Please, let me finish." Snape nodded and I continued. "I can try to forgive you for all the things that happened in the past, but I can't forget. So I am going to go on with my life pretending that I never found out that you are my father, and I think it would be best if we tried to stay out of each others lives."

I stared at the ground, not wanting to meet Snape's gaze. After what seemed an eternity, Snape cleared his throat and said quietly, "You can't ignore it. Not something like this."

"Yes I can," I said stiffly. "As far as I am concerned, James Potter is my father."

"Are you sure that's what you really want?"

"Yes."

Snape sighed, then reached into his pocket and pulled out the diary. "I'd like to give this back to you. You were right before, this belongs more to you than to me."

"I don't want that," I said, looking at the diary with disgust. "I wish I'd never laid hands on it, and I wish beyond anything else that I never gave it to you."

This time I met Snape's eye, and I couldn't help noticing that he almost looked hurt. It was strange having him look at me with no hatred in his expression.

"On second thought, I'll take the diary," I said. I did not want anyone to ever find out that Snape was my father, so it would not be wise to let Snape keep the evidence. I would burn it later, I decided. Snape handed me the diary and I quickly stuffed it back into my pouch.

"I'm going back inside," I mumbled. I picked up my Cloak and hurried up the stairs. I looked over my shoulder when I reached the front doors. Snape was still standing in the same place.

"Good bye," I said, and I entered the castle. My legs felt shaky as I walked into the Great Hall. I walked up to the Malfoys and tapped Draco on the shoulder.

"Can we talk?"

"Yeah," he said. He stood up and followed me into the Entrance Hall.

"What you did out there," I began, "I really appreciated it."

"I'm glad," said Malfoy, but there was something strange about the way he said it. "Is that all?"

"What do you mean?" I said, confused at his impatient tone.

"Are you done talking? Can I go back to my parents now?"

He definitely sounded pissed off. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"What's wrong?" said Malfoy, now starting to sound angry. "What's _wrong_? You sleep with me and then you go off to kill yourself! You were just using me so you wouldn't have to die a lonely virgin!"

"That is _not_ fair!" I shouted. I recollected myself. "I was not using you. I really like you, Malfoy."

"I have a hard time believing that," snapped Malfoy. "I told you that I liked you and you slept with me, knowing that you were going to sacrifice yourself ten minutes later. Did you even consider how I would feel once you were dead? Did you think about how much worse it would hurt for me to see you dead after what we had just done together? You could have at least told me the truth when I asked you if you were going to turn yourself over."

"You would have tried to stop me if I had told you!"

"Like hell I would have!"

"Exactly," I said. "You don't know how hard it was for me to walk to what I thought was my death. I don't know if I would have had the strength to do it if you had tried to convince me not to. And I was doing it for you! To save you!"

"I didn't ask to be saved!"

"Okay, I'm sorry," I said. "You're right, I wasn't thinking about your feelings when I slept with you. But you have no idea what I had just went through before I saw you. I was feeling really hurt and alone, and I needed someone to be there for me. But I really do like you."

"I believe you, but I'm not sure I can forgive you just yet. You have no idea how I felt when I saw you dead. It's not something I can just get over that easily. I'm sorry too."

With that, Malfoy walked back into the Great Hall to rejoin his parents. I closed my eyes and willed the tears not to come. My life felt like it was falling apart all over again. Snape, Malfoy... what next?

"Alyssa, there you are," said Sirius, putting an arm around my shoulder. "What are you doing out here?"

I didn't respond.

"Alyssa, are you all right?" asked Sirius, looking at my face.

I shook my head and buried my face into his chest, letting the tears fall.

**A/N: Please review! Thanks!**


	18. Away From Me

Sirius held me for a while, even after I'd calmed down. It felt good for once to be the weak one. "I think I'm ready to leave," I said eventually.

"That sounds like a good idea," said Sirius, stroking my hair. Sirius and I walked into the Great Hall, which was still packed and found the Weasleys sitting together at a table.

"Ready to move on out?" said Sirius.

"Yes, let's be getting home," said Mrs. Weasley. "Everyone's exhausted. We don't want anyone getting sick."

We moved through the crowd and as we did, people reached out to hug me again, shake my hand, and thank me. I kept a smile on my face as I let them touch me and praise me, but I felt like a zombie.

Finally, we were able to leave the Great Hall. We left Hogwarts and walked until we were past the boundary. Before Apparating to the Burrow, I looked back at Hogwarts. It was no longer a magnificent castle. It was in ruins. With a sigh, I closed my eyes and Disapparated.

"It's finally time to move the ghoul back to the cellar where he belongs," said Mr. Weasley when we arrived.

"You know, I think I like the ghoul better than Ron," said Fred. "Let's just put Ron in the cellar, Dad. What'd'ya say?"

"Shut up," said Ron, punching Fred in the arm.

Once the ghoul was taken care of, Hermione and I followed Ron up to his room and closed the door. We had barely had a chance to talk yet. It was refreshing to just be alone with Ron and Hermione again.

"It's over," said Hermione. "Can you believe it? It's actually over."

"Thank god," said Ron.

"Alyssa, you were amazing," said Hermione.

"Yeah, the way you were talking to You-Know-Who... it was insane," said Ron.

"Guys, stop. You're making me blush," I joked. "But seriously, I would never have been able to have done it without you two."

"Did you really think you were going to die when you gave yourself up to Voldemort?" whispered Hermione. I nodded.

"How did you do it?" asked Ron.

"It was the scariest thing I've ever had to do," I said. "But I knew I could do it, since I was doing it for you guys... for everyone."

Hermione wrapped her arms around me, tears in her eyes.

When Hermione let go, I said, "I'm just so glad he's dead. Voldemort's dead and he's never coming back."

"Our lives are completely stress free," said Ron, reclining on his bed. "No Voldemort. No school. What could be better?"

"Yeah," I mumbled.

"Can you believe how Snape and Malfoy switched sides tonight, just like that?" said Ron, sitting up. "It was like we were in some sort of parallel universe."

"Snape was always on Dumbledore's side," I said. I told them all about how Snape had been in love with my mother and how when Voldemort killed Lily, Snape became loyal to Dumbledore. I also told them how Snape protected me and didn't actually murder Dumbledore.

"I can't believe Snape was in love with your mom," said Hermione. "It makes perfect sense now why he hated you so much. You were a constant reminder of how your mom loved James, not him."

"That doesn't excuse him of the way he treated me!" I exclaimed.

"I'm not saying that at all!" said Hermione. "I think Snape's a nasty, immature git for the way he treated you."

"Yeah, Snape may not be evil in the sense that he's a Death Eater, but he's still evil in my book," said Ron. "What about Malfoy though? That was bizarre."

"Ron, you are so dense," said Hermione. "It's obvious that Malfoy likes Alyssa."

"What?!" said Ron. "No way!"

"Ron's right," I said. "He doesn't."

"Don't deny it," said Hermione. "You know he does."

"No, he doesn't," I repeated. "He told me he doesn't." My voice cracked and I looked at the ground.

"I'm going to go to Australia to find my parents after I get some rest," said Hermione, breaking the awkward silence. "Good night."

"'Night," said Ron.

* * *

When I was positive that Ron and Hermione were fast asleep, I snuck downstairs with the diary in my hand. I stopped at the bottom of the stairs, listening intently, to make sure that no one else was awake. I didn't hear anything, so I walked through the kitchen and into the living room.

I kneeled on the floor in front of the burning fireplace, the diary in my hand. I lifted it above the flames, but I paused before dropping it in. This book in my hand was the only thing tying me to Snape. Once it was burned, all evidence that Snape was my father would be gone. If I never saw Snape again, it would be so easy to pretend like it had all been a dream and go on with my life without looking back. I would forever think of Snape as that Potions teacher I had despised.

I wanted to drop the diary into the fire, but I couldn't bring my fingers to loosen their grip. As much as I loathed the diary and the misery it had brought, it was the only relic I had of my mother's. She may have loved Snape and cheated on James, but I still loved her unconditionally.

I stood up and walked back to Ron's room, the diary still in my hand, unscathed. I put it back in my pouch and got into bed. Even though I couldn't destroy the diary, I could still ignore what was written in it.

Snape was no father of mine.

* * *

I didn't wake up until late in the afternoon. Ron and Hermione weren't in the room, so I went down to the kitchen. Everyone except Hermione was sitting at the table, eating and reading the Daily Prophet.

"The hero has finally arrived," said George, and Fred and Ginny cheered.

"Take a look at this," said Fred, tossing me the paper once I had taken a seat. I looked down to see my face covering almost the entire front page.

"You've got to be kidding me," I said, my cheeks turning red.

"What did you expect?" said Sirius, patting my shoulder. "Did you think the announcement that Alyssa Potter killed You-Know-Who would be a small blurb on the back page?"

"It's a wonderful picture," gushed Mrs. Weasley. "You look beautiful, dear."

"Thanks," I said, turning the page and scimming the article.

"Look here," said Sirius, pointing at a paragraph further down. "They finally admit that your godfather is innocent."

"Only took them sixteen years," I said.

"Read two paragraphs above that," said Mr. Weasley. "Turns out Snape hasn't been a Death Eater for the past sixteen years. He was a spy for Dumbledore the whole time."

"Really?" I said, exchanging a knowing glance with Ron. I put the paper down and filled my plate with eggs and bacon.

"What does the article say about Hogwarts?" I asked through mouthfuls of food. "How much damage was done?"

"A lot," said Mr. Weasley. "But the article said Hogwarts will be rebuilt as good as knew. They should have it done in a few weeks, so you guys will have a little bit of a break before the semester begins."

"Ugh, school," moaned Ron.

"I'm sure you will be able to catch up just fine," said Mrs. Weasley. "You've only missed one semester, and the teachers will be understanding, of course, seeing as it is due to Alyssa that You-Know-Who is gone." Mrs. Weasley smiled down at me, her eyes watery.

"Ron and Hermione did just as much as me," I said quickly.

"Will you shut it?" said Ron. "You're way too modest."

"No I'm not!"

"All right, all right! You two can argue over this later," said Sirius.

"Does it say who's going to be Headmaster?" I asked, holding my breath. If Snape was still going to be at Hogwarts, there was no way I could return.

"Snape handed the position over to McGonagall, since she was meant to be Headmistress after Dumbledore died," said Mr. Weasley.

I let out my breath, relieved. "So Snape's leaving Hogwarts?" I said, just to make sure.

"No, he's going to be taking the Defense Against the Dark Arts position."

My stomach sank. What was I going to do?

"He finally gets to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts," said Ron, shaking his head.

"Guys, this is a good thing," said Ginny. "The position is jinxed, remember? Snape will be out of Hogwarts by the end of the year!"

"No he won't," I mumbled. "That position was jinxed because Dumbledore refused the job to Voldemort. Now that Voldemort's dead, the jinx is most likely gone."

"Crap," said Ginny.

"We'll just have to get rid of him another way," said Ron. "We got rid of You-Know-Who. Snape should be a piece of cake." Ginny laughed.

"Ron! Ginny! Snape is a good man," said Mrs. Wealsey sternly.

"Just because Snape wasn't actually a Death Eater, it doesn't make him a good man, Mum" said Ginny. "He's still going to be horrible to us Gryffindors."

"I'm sure that Snape's attitude toward Gryffindor will have changed seeing that You-Know-Who is dead because of Alyssa," said Mrs. Weasley. "And Hermione and Ron," she added quickly.

"Mum, trust me, his attitude will not have changed," said Ron. "Alyssa rescued the Sorcerer's Stone, she saved Ginny from the Chamber of Secrets, and she escaped You-Know-Who in the grave yard and managed to bring back Cedric's body, and Snape _still _treated her like crap! Nothing, and I mean _nothing_, can change Snape's mind about Alyssa and the Gryffindors. Isn't that right, Alyssa?"

I nodded, not meeting anyone's eye.

"Molly, I think we all know that Snape is worse than the scum on the bottom of your shoes, so I greatly support Ron and Ginny's efforts to rid Hogwarts of him," said Sirius.

"Yeah!" shouted Ron, giving Sirius a high-five. Mrs. Weasley glared at them.

"George, aren't you glad we're done with Hogwarts?" said Fred.

"Oh yeah," said George.

"I'm going out," said Sirius, standing up. "I have some things to take care of. I'll be back later."

"Let's go up to my room," said Ron, and I followed him out of the kitchen.

As we walked up the winding staircase, I thought of all that Ron had just said. He was right. If Snape didn't know that I was his and Lily's daughter, he would still treat me the same way he'd always treated me. I felt reassured that I had made the right decision in not recognizing him as my father.

"It's going to be so weird going back to school after what we've gone through these past few months," said Ron, when we were in his room.

"Tell me about it," I said. "When do you think Hermione will be back from Australia?"

"Soon, I hope," said Ron. "You think she'll find her parents okay, right?"

"It's Hermione," I said.

"True," said Ron.

"She's probably going to want to spend these next few weeks with them," I said, "but I'm sure she'll send an owl when she gets home."

We sat in silence for a few moments. I decided it was time to break the news to Ron that I wasn't going back to school.

"Um, Ron?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm not returning to Hogwarts."

"What?!" exclaimed Ron. "Why not?"

"It's like you said before. It'll be too strange going back after what I've been through," I lied.

"What are you going to do?"

"I'll try to get a job," I said. "Maybe I can get trained as an Auror. I killed Voldemort after all. That's more than any professional Auror could do. What's the point in me going back to school?"

"You were right, you're not too modest," said Ron, laughing.

"Shut up," I said.

"Maybe I can get a job too," said Ron. "I can ask my dad. Or maybe I can work for Fred and George." Ron paused. "Actually, this may seem unbelievable, but despite what I said before, I was kind of looking forward to going back to Hogwarts and returning to my normal life, you know?"

"There's nothing wrong with that," I said. "I'm sure Hermione's going back to Hogwarts."

Ron laughed. "She's going to freak when you tell her. So will my parents."

"Yeah, maybe I'll wait on that." Ron and I both laughed.

* * *

Hermione sent an owl the next day saying that she had found her parents and returned their memories. Like I had thought, she was going to be staying with them until the semester started. That day, Sirius asked me if I wanted to stay with him at Grimmauld Place for the next few weeks and I immediately said yes. It would be nice spending time with him, since I felt like I hadn't seen him in so long.

"I still need to get a few things ready," Sirius had said. "I'll come pick you up in a couple days."

Later that evening, I went into the living room, where Mr. Weasley was sitting, reading the paper. He put the paper down when he saw me.

"How are you, Alyssa?" he asked.

"Good," I said. "There's something that I'd like to run by you."

Mr. Weasley nodded.

"I was thinking that maybe I would try to get a job instead of going back to school," I said.

Surprise flitted across Mr. Weasley's face for a moment, but then he composed himself and said, "What kind of job? There's not many good jobs for a Hogwarts drop out. Fred and George were lucky that their business hit off. Do you have a business proposal?"

"No, nothing like that," I said. "I was thinking maybe I could become an Auror without having to graduate from Hogwarts considering recent events."

"Alyssa, you are a very talented witch, but I don't think the Auror office will take you without any N.E.W.T.'s," said Mr. Weasley.

"But I killed Voldemort," I said.

"Yes, you did. And that took a lot of skill, but there is still much you have left to learn. You cannot always rely on you're quick-thinking and courage. You need an extensive knowledge of poisons and antidotes, you need to be adept at Transfiguration, and there are many more spells that are crucial for you to know how to perform. Two more years at Hogwarts will do you a lot of good. Why is it that you are so against going back?"

"I'm not," I lied. "I was just hoping to get a head start on my career."

"I'm sorry, but I don't believe that's possible," said Mr. Weasley. "You'll have a wonderful semester, I'm sure."

"Thanks," I said. I left the living room, my shoulders slouched in defeat.

I heard a knock on the front door. None of the Weasley's were nearby so I answered the door myself. I almost cried out in shock. There stood Snape.

"Wha- what are you doing here?" I stuttered, still in a semi state of shock.

"I need to speak with you," said Snape.

"You need to leave," I whispered anxiously, staring around to make sure none of the Weasleys were in sight. "You can't be here." I was desperate to get him out of the house. How would I explain his presence if one of the Weasleys saw us?

"All right. Come to my home later today and I can speak with you there," said Snape. "It's on Spinner's End-"

"I know where it is," I lied, cutting him off. I started closing the door on him, but Snape held his hand against the door, preventing me from shutting it.

"You'll be there?" he said.

"Yes."

Snape nodded and with a crack, had Disapparated. I would have to go to Snape's house tonight as I had promised. I couldn't risk him coming back to the Burrow.

All day, it was the only thing I could think about. I was absolutely dreading going to his home.

After dinner I told the Weasleys that I was going to Grimmauld Place to visit Sirius. I walked outside, took a deep breath, and Apparated to Spinner's End.

If I thought the Burrow looked run down, it was nothing compared to the houses on Spinner's End. Most of the houses badly needed to be repainted or have their roofs redone. The front lawns were all taken over by weeds and dead grass.

I walked down the cracked sidewalk, wondering which house was Snape's. A boy who looked about my age came out of the house that I was passing. He smiled and said, "You look lost."

"This is Spinner's End, right?" I said.

"Yes it is," he said. "What brings you to the dregs of town?"

I laughed and said, "I'm looking for Severus Snape's house. You know which one that is?"

"Yeah, I'll walk you to it," he said.

"Okay," I said.

"I'm Rick, by the way," he said as we started walking down the sidewalk.

"I'm Alyssa."

"How do you know Severus Snape?" Rick asked.

"Um, he's just a family acquaintance," I said.

"I've never met anyone who actually knows the guy," said Rick. "No one around here ever goes near him. If you don't mind me saying, the guy's creepy."

"I could see how he would come off that way."

"Where you from?"

"Godric's Hollow."

"Never heard of it." Rick stopped walking. "This is his house."

The house we had stopped in front of was just as run down as all the others.

"Hey, I know we've only met for like five minutes, but could I get your number?" asked Rick.

"Oh," I said. "I don't give out my number. Sorry."

"That's cool," said Rick.

"Thanks for all your help though," I said.

"No problem," said Rick and he turned and walked back the way we came.

I now stood alone in front of Snape's house. I took a deep breath, and walked up to the front door and knocked loudly.

Snape opened the door a few seconds later.

"You came," he said, opening the door for me.

I stepped inside. I was standing in a small living room, and it reminded me of Snape's office at Hogwarts. It was not lit well, the furniture looked stiff and uncomfortable, and the book cases were filled with dark, ancient looking books and creepy things in jars.

I turned to Snape and said, "I can't believe you came to the Burrow. What if one of the Weasleys answered the door or saw us talking? How would we explain that?"

"I think you are making too big a deal-"

"It is a big deal!" I said, my voice rising. "Did you not listen to a word I said the other night?!"

"Pot- Alyssa, calm down," said Snape.

"You can still call me Potter," I said. "In fact, I would prefer it if you do."

"I will not call you Potter seeing as James Potter is not your father," said Snape, his voice turning colder.

"Fine," I said. "What did you want to tell me already?"

"Why don't you have a seat?"

I sat down in one of the uncomfortable-looking chairs, all the while glaring at Snape. Snape sat down in a chair across from me.

"I know you said that you don't want to think of me as your father and that you want me to stay out of your life, but I don't think that's a good idea. We are going to have to work out our issues and face the truth, seeing as we will be at Hogwarts together for the next year and a half, and I will be your teacher."  
"I'm not going back to Hogwarts," I said.

"Why not?" asked Snape. "Please don't tell me it's because of me."

I didn't respond.

"That is ridiculous!" said Snape. "You are taking this way too far. What are you going to do instead of going back to school?"

I shrugged.

"As your father-"

"Actually, Sirius is my legal guardian, so you have no say in the matter," I said harshly.

Snape leaned forward in his chair. "Alyssa, I protected you and I was always on your side-"

"You were on Dumbledore's side, not mine."

Snape sighed. "If I had known that you were mine and Lily's-"

"And if you hadn't known?" I said. "You would be treating me the same way you always have. James loved me even though he knew I was yours. But you? You could never even stand the sight of me. You loathed me."

"I did not loathe you," said Snape.

Now I was really getting angry. "You're lying, and you know it," I said, glaring at him.

"I know I may not have been the nicest person towards you, but-"

I laughed mirthlessly, cutting him off. "Not the _nicest_ person? You tried your hardest to make my life a living hell! Do you not remember the way you used to sneer at me? The taunts you would make about me being like James? The way you'd look at me, like I was the worst thing in the world? Do you not remember the past five years _at all_?" My voice was growing louder with every word. "You would punish me or try to get me expelled at every chance got! You constantly insulted me! You humiliated me every Potions class! You would fail me when you knew I deserved a better grade! And you-" my voice became quiet and I stared my feet. "You made me watch Cedric die all over again. Do you have any idea what that was like for me?"

I looked up. Snape's face was pale and now he was the one staring at the floor.

"You may be able to forget all that, but I can't," I said. "And you didn't even care _at all_ that I was going to die. So you cannot just go from calling me Potter to calling me Alyssa. It just doesn't work that way."

I stood up and walked out the door, slamming it behind me.

I didn't Apparate back to the Burrow. Instead, I ran. I sped down the street, not even seeing where I was going. All I could feel was my feet hitting the pavement and all I could hear was the pounding in my ears.

I finally stopped running when I felt like I was going to hurl. I didn't know how many miles I had covered. I leaned over, hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath.

I couldn't keep carrying this secret on my own. I needed to talk to someone, but there was no one who I could tell. I couldn't tell Ron, Hermione, or Sirius. They wouldn't be able to look at me the same way knowing I was Snape's daughter.

There was only one person who I could think of that wouldn't care if Snape was my father, but at the moment, this person wanted nothing to do with me.

I decided I didn't care.

I Apparated for the second time in my life to Malfoy Manor.

**A/N: Please please please review!**


	19. Forgive Me

I faced the large white mansion, wondering how to go about entering. I supposed that Lucius and Narcissa were no longer Death Eaters, so it would be okay if I knocked on the front door.

I walked up the stone pathway and lifted the large brass knocker and knocked three times. A maid answered the door and gasped when she saw me.

"Alyssa Potter!" she said. "I am so thankful to you for vanquishing You-Know-Who."

I blushed, not knowing what to say.

"Thanks. Er, is Draco in?" I asked.

"Yes, come inside," she said, holding open the door. "I'll go get him. Make yourself comfortable."

"Thanks," I said.

The maid disappeared and I paced around the large foyer. I stopped when I heard footsteps. I looked up and saw Malfoy coming down the marble staircase.

He stopped walking and stared down at me. "Hi," was all he said.

"Hi," I said back. "Can we talk?"

Malfoy shrugged and started walking back up the stairs. I took that as a yes and followed him up to his room. Malfoy closed the door behind us.

"Remember the last time I was here?" I said, laughing a little. Malfoy didn't say anything. He sat down on his bed and I sat next to him.

"I get it that you're still mad at me," I said, "but there's something I really need to talk about and you're the only person who I can talk to."

"Why's that?"

"You're the only one that won't judge me."

"So you're using me again?"

"No!" I said. "And I wasn't using you before. I like you. A lot." Malfoy didn't say anything. "And I know you like me too," I added. Malfoy was still silent. At least he didn't deny it.

"I'm not mad at you," said Malfoy. "I understand why you didn't tell me you were handing yourself over. I was being selfish. I wasn't thinking about what you were going through."

"So can we just put that all behind us now?" I said.

"Yeah," said Malfoy, and I smiled.

"But everything with you is always so complicated," said Malfoy. "I feel like there's always going to be stuff that you're going to hide from me."

"There is something that I'm hiding," I said. "Something I haven't told anyone, but I chose to come here to tell you. And I can't promise that I will be able to tell you all my secrets, but hopefully my life will stop being so complicated now that Voldemort is dead."

"Okay," said Malfoy. "So what's this big secret of yours?"

I took a deep breath, then said in a rush, "Snapesmyfather."

"What?" said Malfoy, laughing.

I sighed and closed my eyes. "Snape is my father."

I opened my eyes. Malfoy was staring at me, dumbfounded.

"Very funny," said Malfoy.

"It's true," I said. "Sadly enough."

"You've known this whole time?" said Malfoy, astonished.

"No. I just found out a little while ago."

"How?"

I told Malfoy everything. I told him all about the diary and how I'd given it to Snape after I'd found out I was going to die. I told him about my conversation with Snape after I'd just killed Voldemort and I ended by telling him about my recent encounter with Snape.

Malfoy was silent the whole time I was talking. When I finished all he said was, "Wow."

"That's it? That's all you have to say?"

"I always knew there was a darker side to you," said Malfoy, grinning.

"Shut up," I said. "Do you have anything of value to say?"

"Give me a moment. It's a lot to take in," said Malfoy.

"Do you think I'm being too harsh on him?" I asked. "Should I forgive and forget like he wants me to?"

"Since when do you do what others want you to do, especially Snape?" said Malfoy, and I laughed. "But, I mean, you know me. I think he's a great guy."

"I'm sure that has nothing to do with the fact that you're his all-time favorite student."

"Look, I know Snape treated you like crap," said Malfoy. "I remember. I laughed along."

"Oh, I remember," I said.

"I treated you like crap too, though," said Malfoy. "But look at us now. You forgive me, right?"

"Yeah, because I know now that you treated me that way because you liked me."

"Actually, I didn't start liking you until I was thirteen," said Malfoy. "Those first two years I was just a plain old asshole." Malfoy laughed.

"You were a kid," I said. "It's different. And the stuff you did to me wasn't nearly as bad as some of the stuff Snape did."

"Like what?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

Luckily, Malfoy let it go.

"I think you have every right to still be mad at Snape, but holding this grudge may do you more harm than good," said Malfoy. "You've never had parents. Don't you want a father?"

"I have Sirius," I said.

"He's not really your father," said Malfoy.

"He's been much more of a father to me than Snape," I retorted.

"Fine," said Malfoy. "What about when second semester starts up in a few weeks? What then? You can't avoid Snape. He's our teacher. And don't give me some bullshit crap about not returning to Hogwarts."

I opened my mouth. "How did you know?" I said.

"I know you better than you think," said Malfoy. "And I'm not letting you do that. You're not giving up your future, your education, and your social life for Snape. Because that's what you'd be doing."

"You're right," I said. "But I just can't imagine facing Snape every day pretending he's just my teacher."

"You don't have to pretend."

"I don't want anyone knowing the truth!"

"No one has to know," said Malfoy. "All that matters is that you two know."

"Still..."

"Maybe you should put yourself in his shoes," said Malfoy. "Think about what he's gone through these past five years. His whole life, as a matter of fact."

I was quiet. After a few minutes I said, "I should get going." I stood up, but Malfoy grabbed my hand and pulled me back onto the bed. He leaned over and kissed me. I kissed him back for a few seconds, but then pulled away and said, "I do really have to go. I don't want the Weasleys to worry."

Malfoy sighed in defeat. "I'll see you at school, right?"

I paused. "Yes," I said. I walked to the door, but turned back before I opened it. "And maybe before then if your lucky." Malfoy grinned.

I left the house and Apparated back to the Burrow. No one was in the kitchen or living room when I got back. It was pretty late, so I assumed everyone had gone to sleep. I went up to Ginny's room, where I had been sleeping and entered quietly in case she was asleep, but the she was still awake, reading a book on her bed.

"There you are!" she said. "Where have you been? And don't lie and say you went to see Sirius because he came over here to tell you that he's picking you up tomorrow."

"Really?" I said, excitedly.

"Don't change the subject," said Ginny. "Where were you?"

"I went to see Malfoy," I said. At least that was partly truthful.

"Is something going on between you two?"

"Yeah," I said, smiling sheepishly. "I think we might be dating. Or at least we'll be together when the semester starts up again."

"Oh my god, I cannot wait to see how people react to this!" squealed Ginny. "A Gryffindor and a Slytherin dating? That's unheard of! Maybe that'll end the feud between Gryffindor and Slytherin!"

"I hope so," I said.

"Except there will still be Snape docking points off of Gryffindor every chance he gets."

"Not anymore," I mumbled.

"Why would you think that?" asked Ginny.

"Er," I said, at loss for words. I hadn't meant for Ginny to hear me. "Just that, you know, he was against Voldemort. Me and him were on the same side for once. So maybe he'll change his mind about Gryffindor."

Ginny just shrugged. "I'm going to sleep. Turn off the lights when you're ready."

"Kay, good night," I said.

I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. I went back into the room, put on my pajamas shorts and a big t-shirt, turned off the lights, and got into bed. Like so many nights before this, I lay awake on my back, unable to fall asleep. All the things that Snape and Malfoy had said ran through my mind.

I remembered what Malfoy said: Maybe I should put myself in Snape's shoes. Think about what he's gone through.

Snape's childhood hadn't been a good one, just like mine. From Snape's memories that I had seen, it appeared as if his parents constantly argued and neglected him.

Snape had truly been in love with Lily. I couldn't deny that fact. And a stupid decision he made as a teenager had cost him her love. He then had to watch her choose James over him and feel the guilt of causing her death. And he still loves her to this day. And I was a constant reminder of Lily's death and that Lily had chosen James. I could not even come close to imagining how he must have felt seeing me every day for the past five years. And still he risked his life every day to protect me.

Was I being too hard on Snape? After all he had to go through, how could I really blame him for acting insensitively towards me?

Snape loved Lily. Did that mean he could one day grow to love me too? Could I ever love him?

I drifted off to sleep, my heart feeling considerately lighter than it had felt in a while.

After breakfast the next morning, I went back up to Ginny's room to pack up all my things since Sirius would be there soon to take me to Grimmauld Place to live with him.

"Alyssa! Sirius is here!" I heard Mrs. Weasley call from the kitchen.

I picked up my trunk and went downstairs to meet Sirius, who was waiting for me in the foyer.

"All set?" said Sirius.

"Yup," I said. Mrs. Weasley, Ron, and Fred were hanging around there too.

"I'm sure I will be seeing you all very soon," I said to them, but I hugged them all good bye anyways.

"Ready?" said Sirius.

I nodded and was about to Apparate, but Sirius grabbed my shoulder.

"We're actually not going to Grimmauld Place," he said.

"Where are we going then?" I asked.

"Take my arm," said Sirius. I did as he said, and Sirius turned on the spot and with a crack, we we had left the Burrow.

We landed on a rural road surrounded thickly by trees.

"Where are we?" I asked.

"Follow me," said Sirius.

I followed him down the dirt road until we reached a quaint, two-story cottage with a beautiful rose garden in front.

"Oh my god! Is this our house?" I asked.

"Indeed, it is."

"It's perfect!" I said, giving Sirius a huge hug. I ran up the stone path to the front door and went inside, Sirius right behind me. I walked down the small hallway into the kitchen and dining room area and stared around, a wide smile plastered to my face.

"The living room is back there," said Sirius pointing. "And there's a bathroom over there. Let's go upstairs. I'll show you your room."

I eagerly followed Sirius up the stairs and into my new bedroom. I gasped with delight. It had a hard wood floor with a cream colored area rug, and the walls were painted light purple. There was a shiny wooden desk, bookcase, and dresser, and my bed was covered with a purple quilt and soft, fluffy pillows.

"Thank you so much!" I said.

"You like the purple?" asked Sirius, sounding unsure. "We can change it."

"No, purple is good," I reassured him.

"Good," said Sirius, smiling. "Want some help unpacking?"

"Sure!"

I had been living with Sirius for two weeks, and everything was great. There were only a few more days until I had to go back to Hogwarts. I was looking forward to it and dreading it at the same time. It would be so strange going back after all that had happened this year.

I went into the living room and plopped down on the couch, wondering what to do with my afternoon. Sirius was at a job interview, so I was alone. I was contemplating going to the Burrow to visit Ron when I heard a knock on the door.

I looked through the peephole in the door to see who it was. It was Snape. For some reason, I was not surprised.

I opened the door. "Hi," I said.

"Hello," said Snape.

"Er, do you want to come inside?" I asked, opening the door all the way. "Sirius isn't here."

"That's okay. I'm just stopping by for a moment. I just wanted to be sure that you are coming to back to Hogwarts on Monday."

"Yes, I've decided to go," I said.

"I'm glad to hear that," said Snape.

There was an awkward silence.

"Er, how'd you know I live here now?" I asked.

"Hogwarts keeps records of where all students live," said Snape.

"Oh," was all I replied.

"I'll be on my way then," said Snape turning to go, but then he turned back around and looked straight into my eyes.

"I'm sorry," he said.

I stared back into his eyes, which didn't look so black anymore.

"I forgive you," I said.

Snape's whole body seemed to relax and his face softened.

"I'll see you in my N.E.W.T. Potions class, then," said Snape.

"Maybe I'll actually be able to pass this year," I said, chuckling.

"There's a chance," said Snape, chuckling too. "But don't think I'll be going easy on you."

"I wouldn't want it any other way," I said.

Snape smiled. I think it was the first time I had ever seen the man smile.

"You were always one hell of a potion maker, Alyssa," said Snape, and then he Apparated.

I closed the door, smiling too. Maybe some day I'd be ready to tell the world who my real father was. Or maybe not. I had no idea what the future held for me. But right now, the it wasn't looking so bad.

**A/N: Please review! This is where I was planning on ending the story, but if you want me to continue I'm going to need A LOT of reviews. Also, feel free to tell me what you want to see happen in the reviews. Thanks!**


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